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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Frightened - think DH is having a psychotic episode

220 replies

sixtyhundred · 19/05/2011 09:49

Can anyone help me? I think that there is something wrong with my DH. Over the past few weeks he has been accusing me of propositioning and then having sex with any (or every) man I meet. He claims that he has recordings and video footage of this happening. These accusations are completely untrue. He has played me a very fuzzy and indistinct recording from his dictaphone but I couldn't make anything out on it. I said this to him but he insists that 'all' the recordings are 'crystal clear'. He has refused to play me any others, but has claimed to have played them to other people but he won't say who they are. He also claims to have bugged the phone and have recordings of conversations, but these conversations that he is talking about simply haven't happened.

His behaviour has been all over the place - buying bottles of champagne, a new car (!) and having a very increased libido. He can also go from raging to normal and talking about the weather, for example, in the blink of an eye. We've also had to do paternity tests because apparently he can't have children so they're not his (again, nonsense as I've not had sex with anyone other than him since we've been together).

He's always been a bit jealous and suspicious but in a 'normal' way, if that makes sense, nothing like this, which has been going on for nearly a month now. He is going to the gp tomorrow, not because he agrees that the things he believes are untrue but to deal with the stress 'of me cheating on him and lying to him'. I'm scared that the dr will ask him if he could be wrong about the situation, DH will reply no and then the dr will simply say that there isn't a medical issue and we need marriage guidance. Which will not help the situation at all and reinforce to DH that his beliefs are true.

He isn't violent or dangerous but I'm finding it all very difficult and upsetting. Both the gp and cpn have said to me that I should take the children and leave, but that feels like a huge step and I feel that he can be helped and things will be OK, I just don't know what to do. Will the gp see that there's something wrong? Is there something wrong? I don't know any more. Please, if there's anyone who can help I'd be so grateful, thanks.

OP posts:
Zanette · 20/05/2011 17:36

I have jumped through some of the messages here because it sounds like your DH has developed schizophrenia or some other similar pyscosis.

My DP told me he has schizophrenia when we became serious, and it was a little frightening. He is on medication and has 6 monthly sessions with a mental health specialist.

He told me that when he was having the episodes everything was completely real to him. Apparently the brain makes things up, so if he is hearing voices, then HE is hearing the voices even if you aren't!

Your GP sounds terrible to tell you to take the DC and go! I'm sure with help your DH can return to the loving man you knew and you can go back to your normal life.

Once you have a diagnosis you must read up to quell your fears. I've lived with my DP for over a year now and our life is as normal as anyones' is.

Good luck

thisisyesterday · 20/05/2011 17:38

hope OP is ok.
tbf she did say that if she went to her parents she may not be able to get online for a while. and I think if this was me and i'd got to my parents ok, with everything that must be going on coming back on MN to update would probably not be high on my list of priorities!

VivaLeBeaver · 20/05/2011 17:44

No she said "might not be able to post again until I get to my parents' house"

Though I agree that posting may not be high on her list of priorities.

Zanette · 20/05/2011 17:52

Just seen ALL the messages and yes, I've had a change of heart and hope she has taken the children to somewhere safe. In saying that, most schizophrenic people are not violent, they do get a bad press. But definately if there's any hint of violence then the police need to be involved for all their safety.

I hope all is ok.

StealthPolarBear · 20/05/2011 18:46

bump

Calyx · 20/05/2011 18:50

Hope OP's okay and the children too :( have just read this thread and it's really worrying. I'm praying for you to be safe and your DH to get the right treatment ASAP.

nevercheated · 20/05/2011 21:36

Ladies, I am also hoping against hope that the OP and her dc's are OK but would like to point out that when my dh had his episode that I couldn't post on MN for a while as he was watching everything I did on the PC, had installed a keylogger and had also convinced himself that I was having affairs with other MNers. ( Apparently I had become very unfussy about the gender of the people I was allegedly sleeping with!) It may be that she feels she can't post at the moment, rather than things having gotten out of hand.
Also there were a lot of appointments with doctors etc so MN was not top of my list of priorities at the time.

NoWayNoHow · 21/05/2011 16:06

OP, where are you???????

mathanxiety · 21/05/2011 17:12

I sincerely hope her H is well out of the house in a secure ward and that she is surrounded by family to help her. If her H is still there and she is trying to deal with him on her own with the children then God help her.

mamalovesmojitos · 21/05/2011 19:58

Hope op called the police. It must be so difficult to deal with your dh in a situation like this, however he is not able to help himself. He needs outside help. Really hoping he gets the help he needs.

IhateMarlo · 21/05/2011 22:17

Shit, was hoping that OP had posted, I know I know it's not about me, but I'm really worried.
Op have light a candle for you and your husband tonight. Hoping that you and LO's are safe and that he is getting the help he needs.

ConfessionsOfaFlask · 21/05/2011 22:26

.

overbutnotout · 21/05/2011 23:18

Sorry to bring this into the equation but my dh went thro similar behaviour a few years ago - completely irrational behaviour, accusations etc... check your finances and make sure he hasn't got a cocaine problem as mine did

NulliusInVerba · 22/05/2011 00:31

Good Grief OP please come back and update!! :(

simpson · 22/05/2011 00:32

am bumping this as I am worried Sad

strawberrymewmew · 22/05/2011 00:51

Also bumping this...

I don't think I will sleep tonight after reading this.

ConfessionsOfaFlask · 22/05/2011 11:37

.

happymole · 22/05/2011 14:31

Hopeful bump?

OP even if you have decided to stay put, could you just do a post to say you are okay.

strawberrymewmew · 22/05/2011 15:03

I am starting to get extremely worried here.

Generallycloudy · 22/05/2011 15:12

bump

neuroticmumof3 · 22/05/2011 15:37

where is OP? been worried about her and dc all weekend.

BranchingOut · 22/05/2011 18:34

bump

VivaLeBeaver · 22/05/2011 19:00

I wouldn't be suprised if this turns into one of those threads where the OP never comes back.

saladfingers · 22/05/2011 22:11

she'll be back we're just not her highest priority right now.

simpson · 22/05/2011 22:19

I have been where Op is sadly Sad and it wouldn't have been my highest priority to come back on MN iyswim.

OP, am thinking of you......