Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Frightened - think DH is having a psychotic episode

220 replies

sixtyhundred · 19/05/2011 09:49

Can anyone help me? I think that there is something wrong with my DH. Over the past few weeks he has been accusing me of propositioning and then having sex with any (or every) man I meet. He claims that he has recordings and video footage of this happening. These accusations are completely untrue. He has played me a very fuzzy and indistinct recording from his dictaphone but I couldn't make anything out on it. I said this to him but he insists that 'all' the recordings are 'crystal clear'. He has refused to play me any others, but has claimed to have played them to other people but he won't say who they are. He also claims to have bugged the phone and have recordings of conversations, but these conversations that he is talking about simply haven't happened.

His behaviour has been all over the place - buying bottles of champagne, a new car (!) and having a very increased libido. He can also go from raging to normal and talking about the weather, for example, in the blink of an eye. We've also had to do paternity tests because apparently he can't have children so they're not his (again, nonsense as I've not had sex with anyone other than him since we've been together).

He's always been a bit jealous and suspicious but in a 'normal' way, if that makes sense, nothing like this, which has been going on for nearly a month now. He is going to the gp tomorrow, not because he agrees that the things he believes are untrue but to deal with the stress 'of me cheating on him and lying to him'. I'm scared that the dr will ask him if he could be wrong about the situation, DH will reply no and then the dr will simply say that there isn't a medical issue and we need marriage guidance. Which will not help the situation at all and reinforce to DH that his beliefs are true.

He isn't violent or dangerous but I'm finding it all very difficult and upsetting. Both the gp and cpn have said to me that I should take the children and leave, but that feels like a huge step and I feel that he can be helped and things will be OK, I just don't know what to do. Will the gp see that there's something wrong? Is there something wrong? I don't know any more. Please, if there's anyone who can help I'd be so grateful, thanks.

OP posts:
EsioTrot · 19/05/2011 20:24

I logged on in the hope that there would be an update from sixtyhundred saying that everyone is safe...I really hope there's an update soon and that everyone is alright.

SarahStratton · 19/05/2011 21:27

Same here. I have been lurking on and off for most of the day, but didn't have anything helpful to post. I hope everything is ok, and OP has got herself and her DC away safely.

neuroticmumof3 · 19/05/2011 21:27

this is a really scary thread. hope OP and her DC are all ok. Definitely sounds like he has bipolar and is having a manic episode with psychosis. Hopefully he will get sectioned and that will enable a diagnosis to be made and medication given.

DoubleNegativePanda · 19/05/2011 22:27

Another here worrying all day. Hoping you are on you way to your parents house and safety. Will rest easier once there is an update!

CinnabarRed · 19/05/2011 22:38

.

terrafermez · 19/05/2011 22:42

sixtyhundred wrote earlier that she would not be able to post from home given her dh's paranoia. Hopefully she will be able to check in tomorrow.

nevercheated · 19/05/2011 22:44

Regular namechanger here.

sixty, this is uncannily like what happened with my dh over a year ago. He had a very stressful situation in work and we think this triggered it. I was apparently sleeping with half his relatives and half the neighbourhood, my dh also planted recording devices in my coat and handbag to track my movements. He also thought my youngest dc was not his and phoned up agencies to arrange DNA tests.

The diagnosis was morbid jealousy.

I did go to the GP with him and he referred to a psych. I would stress that the GP should refer urgently, where we are there is always a psych on call but I only found this out much later when dh was better. Do NOT put up with a non-urgent referral which is what happened with us, it took weeks before we saw someone. You should not have to live like this.

It took a long time to get treatment as an idiot psychiatrist refused to medicate him at first but eventually I got him to see the head psychiatrist who prescribed Risperidone. This worked immediately and he took it for 6 weeks. At the end of the 6 weeks he was much better, we also had counselling in we discussed what was acceptable behaviour.

He has been fine since with one or two slight relapses back to being slightly suspicious of me but usually only when he has had too much to drink.

Do take care XX

Thingumy · 19/05/2011 23:09

.

I hope you are ALL safe now OP.

sb6699 · 19/05/2011 23:33

I am worried that you seemed to ignore the posts advising you to have police presence when you get home.

An MN'er had a terrible incident during her dh's psychosis.

Really hope you are all safe and warm x

5318008 · 19/05/2011 23:34

oh my goodness

hope Op is okay

ConfessionsOfaFlask · 20/05/2011 08:29

sixty I hope you are okay

SomebodyNew · 20/05/2011 08:47

.

orangina · 20/05/2011 09:58

Hoping to hear something from OP today.....

ImeldaM · 20/05/2011 10:18

Just wanted to join in reassuring OP that by getting help for her DH she is doing the right thing. He will probably not understand now but once better will be relieved that she got help & took steps to protect herself & DC's.

It is likely to be a psychotic episode as opposed to manic depression/bipolar, as this is a one off. That means that after treatment they can hopefully go back to 'normal'.

Some personal experience of being on both sides.

atswimtwolengths · 20/05/2011 14:03

Any news, OP? I hope everything's OK.

mathanxiety · 20/05/2011 15:47

Crossing fingers here. Hoping Sixtyhundred is now safe and that her H is sectioned.

happymole · 20/05/2011 16:08

Scary thread.

Really hoping that OP will be posting from her Mums to let us know she is okay.

mathanxiety · 20/05/2011 16:49

Considering the nature of the situation, is there any way MNHQ could try to get in touch, at least to try to make sure Sixty is ok? (Don't know if members are traceable, or contactable by means other than PMing though)

VivaLeBeaver · 20/05/2011 16:50

Well I'm guessing that OP hasn't gone to her parents as she said she'd be able to post from there. Also guessing she's not gone to work today as she'd have posted from there.

Generallycloudy · 20/05/2011 17:06

Keep popping back to see is theres any news - sixtyhundred where are you?

NoWayNoHow · 20/05/2011 17:07

This is actually really rather worrying - considering that she posted in the first instance, and considering how the majority of posts in reply have expressed concern for her safety, I would have thought that she'd have come on here, even if just to type "all fine".

Surely MN know her email that she would have registered with?

mathanxiety · 20/05/2011 17:16

Could MNHQ contact her local police? You give an address when registering... Or would that be overstepping the mark?

squeakytoy · 20/05/2011 17:19

Overstepping the mark I suppose. This place is supposed to allow for a certain amount of anonymity, but it is very frustrating and extremely worrying when threads like this get left in the air.

Ripeberry · 20/05/2011 17:27

For goodness sakes, get the children and yourself away from him! My mum has bi-polar and lots of times when we were children she tried to 'save us' by trying to attack us.
She even told me when I was a teenager that she wanted to smother us.

He is in a dangerous state of mind, his idea of 'protecting' is not the same as normal people.
Hope you GP gets him sectioned on the spot so that he can get some medication Sad

mathanxiety · 20/05/2011 17:34

I just hope Sixty didn't come home to find a disaster with her H and the little one.

Swipe left for the next trending thread