MrsMiggins takes control of her life BACK

[MrsMiggins]

here it is then....have to still be MrsMiggins as its the lady out of Blackadder and nothing to do with my RL.....

God this is going to be so hard

I feel calm again
Had a shouting/crying fit at tea time so DS & DD were crying too then left them eating icecream in the kitchen

Then just spoke to H on phone & couldnt help myself - getting cross and accusing with him while I could hear the dispair in his voice.
Hes just said about talking about money etc so again, why cant I believe that its final?

feel a bit sorry for HER being in hospital although last night I suddenly wondered if she was pregnant and thats why he left - after all he allegedly ended it 8 weeks ago....see doing it to myself again

I must print off Ggglimpopo's list and stick it on every phone in the house :-

I will not cry/beg/plead/yell
I will be cool, dignified and distant
I will pamper myself
Myself and my children are the most important people in my world
I will eat at least one delicious thing per day
I will buy something I lust after and display it where it will make me smile (shoes did it for me)
I will have a to-die-for haircut

I deserve better. He will be sorry.

However I feel calm again and am going to finish the kitchen, and am going to have a lovely weekend, and have booked a babysitter for Monday night so I can go to the gym, and I have a lovely new handbag which says "ILCK - If Looks Could Kill", and new jeans & top, and bought DD lovely cardigan - I dont usually buy brand new clothes for my kids but H never fails to buy himself lots of new clothes.

and my friend said last night that if he goes skiing in the spring with HER, why dont I go another time? after all he has holiday and can look after the kids - even if it was just a long weekend....and shes right - if hes going to have them at weekends, I need to start saving so I can do nice things for myself

thanks you guys

I know I dont know you personally but you really have helped me from going mad

I will try to rant on here if I feel bad rather than lowering myself to rant at H who clearly doesnt care....

DH left about 8.30
clealry going to HER house

I have decided to go and stay with his parents tomorow - his dad almost cried when I suggested this - v hard for them - he hasnt spoken to them since Mon whe he told his dad it was none of his business.

the friend I mentioned lives near to his parents so am going to see them sat night but means kids looked after and I dont have to worry

feel amazingly calm

have told H what he needs to do i.e leave his job, but he just cried

I feel fine - better the devil yuo know

off to pack

Mrs M - Is H saying he wants to come back then? Im lost as to why it came up that he needs to leave his job. (Sorry if you've been over this - just a bit muddled up).

so what if he cries!!!!!!!!!

He doesn't have the monopoly! &^%£"%$%&!!!!!!!!!!!!

He needs to leave his job, QV, b/c he was having an affair w/his Team Manager and continues to stay with her.

He needs to do MORE than leave his blasted job that seems to come before his kids.

He should be thanking his lucky stars you even gave him taht chance - in fact, he should have been grateful for that chance 2 months ago. Instead, he continued to LIE to you about his relationship w/her.

He could start w/a bloody apology!

Seen a solicitor yet?

(thanks expat.....)

Bet his parents are so worried they're never going to see their grandkids again b/c of how their son continues to behave.

What a selfish prat! Can't imagine doing that to people who love me and kids who need me.

I am a star

I have rung his parents and am going up to stay tomrorrow morning
going out with friends Sat night

I am deffo in control again
I am a litle bit tipsy but not cryuing - just cant touch type like normal

I have t say I still love H and would stil have him back BUT at this mom3wnt in time he is screwed up

most important people in myh life are DS and DD who are beautiful but I cant shrink their photos so you'll just have to take my work for it

gave H a hug beofer he went cos he was crying cos sad to lose DS....bad luck I say [

expat
you are exactly how I used to be - say thing how they are !!!

havent seen solicitor yet BUT have names of 3 and website at cost of onepff fee of £39
going to try them first

he was far weaker than me tonight even if he thgouth my jair look awful
Ive lost weigfth and he still has beer belly and sick gf who is in hospital....aaaahghhhh NOTTTTTTTT

Good for you Ms Miggins!

am going to beD
my seplliong is awful - no its not COD in discise but I am tired and have 2 hrs jourjey tomorrow to tak e kids to MIL

bgastard H doesnt desertce us -0 wish I coudl post pics of kids cos they are beautiful

Well done MrsM you will come out of this so much better than him, he is the loser!

Can you not email your pics to someone who can amend them for you and post them?

Just go out and try to enjoy yourself tomorrow.

If the ILs try to ask, trot out the old tears and tell them you'd rather not talk about it for upsetting the kids.

Then leave it at that.

I know you still love him, but sometimes, you have to love you more.

I'll paraphrase an old quote from a writer and columnist I love, Amy Akron

'Sometimes, being in love means our self-respect gets hurt. And sometimes, keeping our self-respect means have to say 'get lost''.

I just know I am in so better a postion than I was a week ago
I am in control even thoug maybe I didnt feel this when he was in our house
HE is losing / missing put opn such gorgeous kids...just hur cos DD 17mths has been very clingy this week since he left but today when he arrived, sat on his knee for ages - why didn that wake him up to his loss?

beats me

woke early (kids botjh asleep)
had that moment where you wkae & think everything is OK

still am adding "no more alchol alone" to my list as although I was fine last night, it didnt help and I am just being stupid

Told him last night that he cant ever think he tried & one day will regret that - and when I said I didnt think hed ever stopped sleeping with her, I got silence - that says it all.
told him he was the one losing out on all of us and that maybe one day I would find someone who wanted to come home every night & be a proper husband/father

he didnt take all his clothes so the rest is deffo going in the garage

do you know he was even packing his stuff while his DS watched bedtime TV in my bedroom after his bath - dont know which is worse - not taking 5 mins to cuddle DS or showing no feelings for DS by packing his stuff

and yesterday I told him I hadnt told DS he was coming in case he didnt, and he said it would be a nice surprise....he just doesnt get it - that DS willbe confused again today that daddy's not here

as for getting one day/night off a week, seeing as H lives either 1 hr 50 or 2hr 30mins away, I just dont see that happening...

MM,glad you're bearing up.

Think 'no alcohol' think is a good move,unless you're out having a nice time with friends.

XXX

You did SOOOO well Mrs. Miggins. And, if you want, I can downsize pics for you. CAT me and I'll give you a better e-mail address to send them to (i.e. not the one associated with the CAT facility).

Have a good weekend!

Message withdrawn

Mrs M hope your weekend is going well and you are with some friends as well as your family.

Have one drink every now and then just not the whole bottle and baileys as well! Keep strong we can beat these bs

You keep going MrsM.

He's a self centred fool! You are better off without.

On a personal note, I'd bin his clothes. Wouldn't bother putting them in the garage. Maybe outside in the rain.... hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Don't mind me.. you are doing really really well!

mrs m hope you've had a good weekend

So Miggs, how was your weekend?

Thnking of you...

Evening MrsM!

Hope you've had a wonderful weekend!

my weekend was great
Support and kindness from H's family - I had relaxing time cos FIL & MIL spent all day Sat playing with the kids.
Took us shopping and bought kids clothes & treats.
MIL gave kids bath
I put DD to bed and then left MIL to put DS to bed while FIL drove me into town to meet couple of friends.
He volunteered to fetch me but I got a taxi - got home about 11.30pm and FIL waiting up for me.
TOday just the same - making cakes and playing
Then SIL arrived with DH & kids and we all went to the park
Got home later afternoon and went to my parents for dinner

Txt H asking him to ring at 7pm and first thing he said was "cant talk for long as in the restaurant" - hes away this weekend til Tues with work collegues (not HER)
Im sure hes only phoning to make sure I cant turn round and say he doesnt care about kids cos clearly he was put out by having to phone

he just doesnt seem to care about anyone - not spoken to parents all week..but there again he rarely did without me prompting him...maybe they'll realise just how selfish he is

AND we had a better time this weekend with his family than we would have done if he'd been there - he would have found the park boring whereas we all played hide and seek in the bushes - FIL, me, kids, SIL, BIL
H would never had done that
Wouldnt have made cakes
I probably would have been uptight

I have actually cried a little this weekend and think it was the thought of losing his family and the hard times ahead and still missing him...after that phone call tonight, I just wonder whether I am better off out of it all

no drink tonight
going to pamper myself and get an early night

babysitter booked for tom night so I can go down the gym. I figure she will cost same price as bottle of wine so just spending the money in more constructive way

Sounds lovely MrsM.

What a great family they are.Don't worry,they are part of your family always. You don't have to lose contact with these people because of your arse of a dh.

Have a good week,

XXXXX