MrsMiggins takes control of her life BACK

[MrsMiggins]

here it is then....have to still be MrsMiggins as its the lady out of Blackadder and nothing to do with my RL.....

God this is going to be so hard

I feel calm again
Had a shouting/crying fit at tea time so DS & DD were crying too then left them eating icecream in the kitchen

Then just spoke to H on phone & couldnt help myself - getting cross and accusing with him while I could hear the dispair in his voice.
Hes just said about talking about money etc so again, why cant I believe that its final?

feel a bit sorry for HER being in hospital although last night I suddenly wondered if she was pregnant and thats why he left - after all he allegedly ended it 8 weeks ago....see doing it to myself again

I must print off Ggglimpopo's list and stick it on every phone in the house :-

I will not cry/beg/plead/yell
I will be cool, dignified and distant
I will pamper myself
Myself and my children are the most important people in my world
I will eat at least one delicious thing per day
I will buy something I lust after and display it where it will make me smile (shoes did it for me)
I will have a to-die-for haircut

I deserve better. He will be sorry.

However I feel calm again and am going to finish the kitchen, and am going to have a lovely weekend, and have booked a babysitter for Monday night so I can go to the gym, and I have a lovely new handbag which says "ILCK - If Looks Could Kill", and new jeans & top, and bought DD lovely cardigan - I dont usually buy brand new clothes for my kids but H never fails to buy himself lots of new clothes.

and my friend said last night that if he goes skiing in the spring with HER, why dont I go another time? after all he has holiday and can look after the kids - even if it was just a long weekend....and shes right - if hes going to have them at weekends, I need to start saving so I can do nice things for myself

thanks you guys

I know I dont know you personally but you really have helped me from going mad

I will try to rant on here if I feel bad rather than lowering myself to rant at H who clearly doesnt care....

Once you are divorced and all the financial issues have been sorted, no court is going to insist that you allow xh access in your own home. If he wants contact with his children, he will have to produce some proposals for when, where and how long. If he can't provide an address or contact details, or show that he can adequately care for them, then the court will be reluctant to order contact at all. These are things he needs to be thinking about now. He can't just assume that he will be coming to your home to see them ad infinitum.

Ah, I see your point Mrs Miggins. Although from what you've said over the last month or two, I do wonder if your children might be better cared for by their grandparents than by their Dad. And, it gives your in-laws a chance to see what an uninvolved tosser xh really is -- although there always the possibility that they will choose not to see their son for what he really is.

Well, perhaps you should just leave it to him to demonstrate to the courts that he has a place to take them and let the court decide if it's suitable.

Happy New Year!! Hope you have a fantastic year. You deserve it.

How are you? Just checking up on my favourite inspiration.

hello uwila
dont know about inspirational tho

sorted out mediation appointment and solicitor is sending his divorce papers to my address

told him today to get his ar#se into gear & get a solicitor - fed up with him dragging his heels

Ive told him he can visit the children every weekend if he likes but for the moment he cant take them away overnight....dont care if he doesnt like that - my DS is still a little funny if he go out at night even though hes in bed & I tell him I'll be home later so Im not having them driving up & down the motorway
Sorry if anyone thinks Im wrong but Im not stopping access at all, just not letting them go away overnight

besides H isnt exactly bothered as he still doesnt have anywhere to live

sometimes I do think "why do other husbands come back & mine hasnt"....and then I read diary extracts from 6 mths ago and realise what a sh't he was to me - mental abuse is as bad as physical

so good riddance

I said to H on phone today "Im sitting on my sofa, watching my tv, speaking to you on my phone" - he laughed but as I pointed out I have £9.99 disposable income a month (according to solicitor) so I cant afford to buy new furniture.

"I'd better get some advice" he said despondently

FINALLY HE GETS IT {grin]

Hi MM.

My husband may be saying he wants to come back at the moment but I wish I was as strong as you and could deal with him once and for all. He is still able to dabble with my mind.

You are doing so well, keep it up. My favourite saying may help:

'you may have a fresh start anytime you choose, for this thing we call failure is not falling down, its staying down' and you MM are not staying down. Go girl!

See Miggins, I told you you were an inspiration... you just don't know it which somehow seems to make it even more admirable.

I hope, for their sake, that your kids turn out like you.

Failure is not falling down, it's staying down. I like that, barmybird.

Men are dumb, Mrs.M. What can I say?

How are you? Have you served his sorry arse up on a divorce platter yet?

Oh, I hope you get all you deserve... and then some.