The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Spring Into Summer.

[Mouseface]

Hello

Welcome to The Brave Babes Battle Bus.

This is a quest full of Babes, all fighting to remain sober, cut down or are somewhere in between right now.

You ticket to travel is free, it won't expire, and the Bus will always be here, even if there are days when you are not. So come say hi.

I'm Mouse. I have a thing for cheese and vodka, not together, well, not always!

Here is a LINK to the last thread, where you can read all of the previous threads and the journeys so far.

Hi ladies, mouse the dodgy periods, hairy bits, sore bits, moods.....you could be my mirror. Ditto. I'm 38. FWIW, I don't think its early menopause, I think its pressure of life, constant thinking, constant being needed, not to mention the sleep debt...... And, the wine, I'm no-one to dish out opinions or words of wisdom as I'm new to being honest with myself, but, remember somewhere in there to look after you. As you would a friend.

Wow, Nemo and your DD look very similar. After your description, I didn't imagine Nemo to look so alert and strong, handsome boy!!! And how can you look so good on sleep deprivation?

Yep, I have 3 children. My DD is 10 and I have b/g DTs who are almost 7. Single mum for the last 6 months. Well, actually for the last 10 years but officially the last 6 months. DP wasn't a bad person. He was just never around, travelled constantly, worked constantly, still does, like an addiction of his very own. One day I realised I couldn't live with the uncertainty anymore and it hurt like hell that he just couldn't love me the way I needed him to. Now its a little harder, but I know where I am.

I am a week without alcohol. That feels good but I don't trust it yet.

I better go to bed. Part of my survival is to sleep much more. Failed on that tonight but.......

Night girlies.

Sweetheart, this is a chink. Only a chink. You have been hurt and you have returned to an old familiar friend in a bottle to comfort you. Only...... this friend can't hug, can't speak and can only manipulate you by contorting your mind.

Families can be fuckwits of the biggest arsey proportions. With skids on.

That was for Isindebetterplace btw.

Dammit, I typed a long eloquent reply (though I says it as shouldn't) and forgot about the server downtime. Short version:

Why should you have to justify how planned they are and how qualified you are in the first place? No-one expects me to, just because I prefer cock, and believe me, that's no guarantee of being a good parent.

If anyone told me that my sweet daughter lived in a world that despised her begetting, I would - well, first I would roll my eyes at 'begetting', but then I would be furious beyond belief. That is an appallingly cruel thing to say.

Your babies are adorable because they are adored, and they are lucky to have the caring, loving, strong parents that they have.

And your family can go fuck itself, frankly.

Sorry you are dealing with all this shit isinde not the same by any means but my parents didn't approve of DH and we barely spoke for seven/eight years. We made it up by brushing all the mean things they said under the carpet when I had DCs - they have never apologised but are fab GPs so I am letting it all go. Your family sound stubborn and narrow minded, try to accept that it is not your fault and I actually feel sorry for them missing out on your family They will certainly regret it.

I am on day 11 and yesterday had a brief discussion with myself (in my head) about whether to have a glass of wine, but decided it was not a good idea! I had the vividest dream that I got drunk last night and upset DH, embarrassed myself etc etc and when I first woke up I wondered if it was true and felt so sad/despairing but it WASN'T true Maybe my brain is reminding me why I decided to stop!! Except for the dream I am sleeping much better, more soundly, which is useful as DS has decided that 5.30am is about the right time to get up

Have a good day everyone - I'm trying a new Davina DVD this morning so wish me luck!

Morning babes and Miflaw,

for the first time this morning, for a long time, I woke stupidly early with the old washing machine tummy, churning round and round.
I had a peculiar night, and dreamt a lot of my lovely Grandmother, who died over 23 years ago. I am taking it as a sign that she is looking after me today.

Today, this evening, tonight and tomorrow, for the first time in over 20 years, I will be completely alone in the house, and I feel rather odd about it to say the least. Usually if Dh is away, I have at least one of the Dc's here, but not tonight. So, can I just write this down for my own benefit tonight I will not be drinking.

Isinde I am hoping that you don't feel too bad this morning. I can hardly believe that your sister would have said something so archaic, and unkind. You come across as a kind, sensitive, caring and intelligent woman, your Dp loves you, your Dt's love you, and so do we , try to think bollocks yah, boo, sucks to the rest of them. I know it must be hard.

Tiny good luck with the DVD! I too, have had dreams where I have been drinking, and woken to find that I hadn't, and it wasn't true, very weird, but very happy!

I'm off to make my toast now, but will be around a lot today and tonight, in between trying to study .

Speak later
xxxx

P.S Thanks for setting up the new thread Mouse, and I hope you feel ok today [kiss icon xx]

Isindie First heres a ((hug)). It is clear to me from your posts that you and your DP are doting parents. Your "adorable" DT's are a reflection of all the unconditional, love and care you give them everyday. I think the word unconditional is key here, as families so often seem unable to give this to each other. For some reason we seek/need our families approval and it hurts like hell when they can't/won't give it. I have some experience of this, and I feel your pain and anger. As for "begetting" I shall be using that word today, I shall be begetting a Quiche for tea tonight, best to treat it with the respect it deservers . Look after yourself today. x

The word begetting that is not the Quiche!

wahhh!!! quick in and out, couldnt not say a supporive word to isindi - lovey, i would cut the contact! - you have a wonderful family which will only grow as the dts gets older, get partnered-up, 'beget' you grandchildren (and the they will you know!) move away from the weirdos trying to spoil it!!

thurso - am on my own too until sunday, im really busy but it feels very odd that on one is at home! i will join you tonight as

TODAY I WILL NOT BE DRINKING!!

luvvs yer all!!

L XXXXXXXXXX

isindie I think all your actions are showing you to be a strong, generous and loving woman. Given all that has gone on for you with your family, not everyone would have continued to make the effort that you do to stay in contact, or even to visit a sick parent. I don't think that your post was anything to apologise for. You're hurt and angry but despite that you're not displaying hatred or vitriol.

It is so difficult not to receive unconditional love and support from our parents. When my exh and I split up (he was physically, financially and emotionally controlling) my parents were very unhappy - thier approach was that I'd made my bed and should lie on it, even though they knew how awful it was. I couldn't believe that they sided with him over me and I was hurt beyond belief.

The important thing is not to let thier opinions and bigotry affect how you want to be. You want to be (and are) the fantastic mother to your dts, and the loving partner to your dp. Despite everything, it sounds like you still want to be a loving daughter and sister. Well go an and be it. You don't need their approval or permission for any of that. You be just who you want to be.

Lovely post missp

Sorry, I have just posted on the new thread, only I saw Isinde was there, and wanted to let her know that we were all still here

Morning all

indie big hugs to you lady.
The old adage that you can choose your friends but not your relatives seems to be painfully true for you. But you and DP have a wonderful family unit now. Your DT's are a wonderful wonderful testament to that. Please please ignore your bigotted self righteous extended family, and focus on the things that matter. You have no control over people, places and things, only how you react to them.
The ultimate victory is to live life well, happy and serene in your family unit.
Hugs to you my friend. .

bafana

Right time to move over to the new thread!

Isinde, new to this thread and not knowing you all properly......have you had it out with your family - either in the far or recent past? Would you consider writing to those you need to? Tell them all that you've said here in your last two or three posts. It doesn't need to go over historical ground, it just needs to say what you just said here last night. That you are proud of yourself for being a parent, having the chance to love and teach and raise a family. That you believe you are doing a fantastic job! That you are sure, once upon a time, you used to be 'adorable' and that you wish they could see that you still are!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If its done already and dead in the water......consider surrounding yourself only with those who know the meaning of family.

Lastly, ask yourself why their approval is important to you? I've had to do that one myself and its hard.

Filling this one up

Hope you are Ok this morning isindie. You really don't have anything to be forgiven for, you've done nothing wrong - we're all here to listen, to care and support you ((hug))

You have a beautiful family unit and between you and your dp, you are doing a wonderful job, raising two lovely girls that are so obviously happy and loved in your care. That's the important thing to come out of all of this, not your parents' bigotry and refusal to step out of 1958! Was your sister relaying what your mum had said? Is she more supportive of you and your dp?

mouse hope you got some sleep and don't feel too bad today?

I've had a shitter of a morning - have a long-running tale related to my youngest DC, health problems (from birth) have merged into possible developmental/behavioural problems and we've been stuck in the system for ages now trying to get the right help. However we either seem to be either waiting months for contact with anyone, or pushed from pillar to post when we do get an appointment. Trouble is, it's DS who is struggling while we wait and the school at times seem less than helpful. I am really frustrated but am trying to remind myself that I won't feel any better looking at it all from the bottom of an empty wine glass (even though it feels like it would, at this moment in time).

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/1232990-The-Brave-Babes-Battle-Bus-Head-To-The-Summer-Of-Sobriety

Jeez. New thread? Better hoof this lot over then.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/1232990-The-Brave-Babes-Battle-Bus-Head-To-The-Summer-Of-Sobriety

Loving the new title Mouse