The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Spring Into Summer.

[Mouseface]

Hello

Welcome to The Brave Babes Battle Bus.

This is a quest full of Babes, all fighting to remain sober, cut down or are somewhere in between right now.

You ticket to travel is free, it won't expire, and the Bus will always be here, even if there are days when you are not. So come say hi.

I'm Mouse. I have a thing for cheese and vodka, not together, well, not always!

Here is a LINK to the last thread, where you can read all of the previous threads and the journeys so far.

Especially if I can't watch The Apprentice tonight, becuase I have to work.

Yup Indie it's a done deal. enjoy!

ma!

frankly venus, i think i would bash AA if my experience was of the american variety! - i cant it see those methods catching on here, i think the brits are a very different breed of people!

IsinDe - sorry that you are feeling like deep fried dog vomit lovely, but I'm NOT sorry that it's due to illness rather than the mother of all hangovers IYSWIM.

I hope you can rest and feel better soon. xx

Right I'm packing away my books for the day , 971 words, and I can't think of any more ways to say "treat all children as individuals, even if they have the same diagnosis". I hope somebody listens .

I'm off up to make the new bed (with barbed wire fencing, obviously ).
Actually I shouldn't be so horrid, Dh is being very lovely at the moment, the new meds seem to be suiting him so much better, but, as I said before, these times seem to leave a much more lasting impression on me, than him, and I do find, and am finding, it so difficult to relate in a different way, after a while of being his "mummy".

Isinde I hope you feel better soon, I have booked DH on the train
xx

Venus How's work going?

hello chaps, I wonder if a one vowel change to my name makes me unrecognisable? Anyway, paranoid android that I am, I can only hope that it's obvious enough !
So much going on here, so glad to see you all chatting and supporting still. Afraid my usual 'excuse' of finding all the faces and conversations too difficult to keep up with stands. Please forgive me for not referring to individuals. Please forgive me if I seem to be ignoring anything monumental...
Just re-read JWN's original post... almost a year, so amazing. Feel a bit sad that I haven't managed to be so 'successful' though certainly I am not the person I was this time last year. Still an alcoholic, but different, and, I think, further down the road to repair. Thank you. Unfortunately I am back on it just now, gawd knows why, life's tough, and has many isshhoooos...so many of us can testify to that...but tougher pissed, yet still...
I am currently sporting what I rather more than suspect is a broken finger. Classy. I am very proud! And I have not the faintest idea how i managed to get it.
DH away overnight, so I might well stalk you lot on here once dd has gone to bed to in an attempt to see the night through with my remaining digits intact!
If not, take care all, in the land of lovely computer fairies.
x

Hullo, please berate me.

I spoke too soon about my teen the other night (her being easier to get on with). In the 48 hours since then she has:

Taken an overdose (3rd time).

Told docs to FUCK OFF.

Disrupted all of last night (eg come into our bedroom at night and bullied me into giving her a lighter even thought I was asleep, because if I didn't she would smash the place up), refused to go to school, when confronted about school - thrown bleach all over the bathroom (including all over the clothes drying in there).

End. Of. Fucking. Tether.

I don't want to live with her any more (she's 14).

I hate myself for not wanting to be her mother, but actually, I don't want to live with this shit. I'm desperate right now.

Oh Golly, you poor thing. Sorry I don't know the back story, but be kind to yourself. Hope somebody rather more useful appears in a mo...

Oh, and sorry, I'm a crap head because I can't cope and I've been drinking.

I'm an arsehole. Jeez, what a fucking arsehole. Like drinking would make it any better.

Christ.

golly - i feel so sorry for you!, im afraid i have no advice worth listening to regarding your dd - have you tried posting in 'teenagers'? there might be more parents there with experience of teens with mh issues!

sorry, that sounds a bit 'go away' , didnt mean it that way!

No, it doesn't and it won't. Can make it worse though. But hey, look at me, fine one to be Captain Sensible for the afternoon.

Just marking my place in the new thread - sorry to hear your news Golly Just don't get even more upset because you have drunk. It's true that drinking isn't going to solve anything, but life's life and sometimes we do daft things. Hope things do begin to straighten out soon.

I can't cope. I want to live without this stress. I know that it doesn't help, drinking, 24 hours after the fact but.. but.. but.. (oh crap). No buts.

I can't cope. If they won't section her perhaps they'll section me. One of the two of us is mad. I wasn't the one smashing a guitar through a door this morning, but somehow I feel like the baddy now.

Hi, just looked in V. quickly, have to make the bed before DH gets home!

Algee hello, I remember you, you're one of the ones who was here when I came on! Keep posting lovely!

Golly can you stop drinking NOW!, so that you can do this. Is your DD at home?. If she's at home, phone the out of hours line for MH at your local hospital, or your contact. It sounds as if you are both at the end of your tethers, and could damage one another if this goes on. Please get some help tonight, sweetheart, for your sanity, as well as DD. This stuff breaks families apart.
Back later
xx

Golly -

I'm not trying to get rid of you at all but have you thought about posting in children's behaviour/development about your DD? Or even in the mental health section on here?

You may find ideas of where to get more practical advice and support. I would think that her GP may be a starting point or whoever they have assigned to her folowing her last attempt at suicide.

Does she have a Social Worker or community psych at all? I'm so sorry that you are having to go through this but I really do think that having to give her a lighter so that she doesn't smash the house to pieces, is when your Enough Monster needs to take control.

If putting her into some form of residential care is the only answer for everyone's safety, then do it. No-one will think any the less of you for not wanting to be near her anymore when this is going on. She is hurting you all in more ways than one.

It's soul destroying and heartbreaking to watch and have to deal with. Mental illness is a very lonely place at times.

I hope that you can get her the help, and yourself, that she really needs. xx

Try thinking of your own child. Then think of your own child being put into care.

Believe me, I've thought of foster placements as a solution.

We are a very middle class (sorry) family.

I can't live like this. How can I live if I offer my child up for anything else?

I don't want to live with the destruction anymore. I shoudn't have to.

Golly

Please don't take offence of my post. I can never imagine going through what you are, of course I can't.

I'm so sorry to have upset you. I won't comment again. Please accept my apologies, I think I meant maybe a short residential break for you and for her.

Sorry

Golly I can't offer any advice, but really feel for you. If you are drinking now please stop and have a couple of large glasses of water.

Where is DD this evening? Do you have a relative or friend who can come and keep you company this evening? Someone to off load on? Otherwise we are are here with listening ears/reading eyes.
MH problems happen to every type of family and middle class or not you need to ask for help, I think a lot of us here spend a lot of time 'coping' and covering up, but this might have to be the time to hand over to someone else for both of your sakes.
Here to hold your hand.
X

Hey Babes

Thank you for all your support - I really appreciate it - not got much time to post now about TSM but will do soon - and I think that Golly has more pressing problems at the moment - I don't have any wise words to offer you Golly but I am thinking of you .

xxxxxxxx

wings duur

Golly my DH works in residential units for teens with problems like you are describing. it is NOT a first port of call, a dumping ground, a giving up. It is also hideously expensive to put a child in residential care and believe me, local authorities are not keen to do it unless EVERY other avenue has been explored. A colleague in work is having a very similar situation to you and refused to get help becuase she was terrified her DD would be taken into care. Eventually I persuaded her to talk over the phone to DH who convinced her that her DD would not be taken away!
however, when her DD became violent she had to call the police, not once, but EVERY time to show she meant business. DD then went before the childrens panel but is still living at home. The family have a social worker who helps this DD with anger issues. She has NOT been put into residential care, but if she had been, it would have been temporary!
DH has worked for years with kids like this and if they do come into care, a programme is established with the child and family, with the sole aim of getting the child back with the family again. There are lots of visits, both supervised and unsupervised, and in most cases the teen returns home on a managed programme. The ones who "go into care" and stay there long term are the ones whose parents are incapable of looking after them because of drug or sexual abuse issues. In families where a parent calls for help, the overriding aim is to keep the family together where possible. That's how it is here anyway. Do not be afraid to call the police - they are very used to it and it might be enough to shock DD! Is the school involved?
There is no short term fix - nobody will come tonight and take her away, unless that is the sole best course of action and someone's life is at risk and even then you have paretnal rights as to what happens to here she is under 16. Please keep a written log of all incidents and how you tried to handle them. You and DD need help - inside her anger there is a confused youngster who needs professional help to come back from the brink.. Please don't see temporary residential care as a last resort or as failure - acknowledging you need this level of help is a positive step. PM me if I can be of any help