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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Im fed up of my spoilt sister- she has now demanded £100,000

181 replies

Roseflower · 26/04/2011 13:48

My sister is 26 years old.

My parents have fully funded 2 higher education courses to date.

6 months ago she decided she wanted to become a vet.
She got offered a place. However since it is a second degree it will cost £100,000 over five years for this particular university. There are others that charge £13,000 for five years but they didn't offer her an interview.

She wants my parents (divorced) to pay for it and stated will not be paying them back

If my mum pays for her she will not help my younger brother fo to university as she says she can only afford 1 child. My brother has never been to university before.

This weekend she came to visit and it ended up in a an awful situation. She demanded I support her. I said in all honesty I cannot support a 6 month whim that costs £100,000 that would but a huge pressure on my ageing parents whilst knowing my brother would get nothing. She was furious and screamed (upsetting my 4 year old dc)

What upsets me is my sisters attitude. I am in shock she would even ask such a thing in the first place.She has no problems if only she benefits, she says her education is that matters and her need is great. She expects the money- it is her right in her own words. She doesn't want to pay it back.

I said are you sure if this money is the only lump sum of money you many ever get is spending It on a course you picked 6 months ago what you really want? Her reply was she expected a large inheritance one day anyway.

She has no idea of the problems she is causing. My father may have to sell his home to fund this. She is fine with that

Last night (after much stress and heartache) my father decided her would help her pay half the fees and my mother would need to meet the rest.

She said that was not good enough and he could keep his big house!

I was furious and said all along this is what I have been saying- her attitude is appalling.

However.... my parents have actually agreed to pay despite this text this morning!

I think it appalling. They both said they gave in as they are scared of her temper. How are they ever going to teach to grow up? She does have serious temper issues I think she needs to work on as priority.

The money is awful but the main issue is her getting rewarded for her behaviour and sense of entitlement. It sickens me. She has been like this for a few years she gets whatever she wants through tantrums but to me this is the final straw.

Whilst they are doing out of good intentions I think they are irresponsible parents and I cannot sit by and bite my lip. How will my brother feel?

What should I do?
I am being unreasonable as all she wants to do is better herself?

OP posts:
mrsQuintas · 02/05/2011 21:05

Hi Roseflower, really feel for you, are you sure your sister doesn't have some kind of mental health issue(s) ?

Only mention this as I know someone going through a similar sort of thing where parents are basically being emotionally blackmailed / bullied by one of their children. You're NOT responsible for your sister (or her happiness) and I would suggest not letting her anywhere near your child until she learns how to behave in a rational manner.

I suspect that your parents deep down know that your sister is using them but years of giving in to her keep them from putting an end to this pattern.

I hope this gets resolved and that your sister grows up / gets help. Please try not to get stressed, concentrate on your own life & family. Wish you well.

midnightservant · 02/05/2011 23:56

They should not give her the money. It's my bet that she will give up on the vet course too.

cornflowers · 26/05/2011 12:31

Any update, op? I hope things are alright.

CinnabarRed · 26/05/2011 12:53

I've been wondering too - all the best OP.

Pedallleur · 26/05/2011 14:31

Not seen all the thread but.. how old is she? vet course is HARD (just like a medical course) but great employment opportunities and a v.high income but maybe long hours involved esp. for a Jnr.Partner. She should get the money as a loan NOT a gift since she already has a degree. It's up to your parents but they should stand firm on this

Xiaoxiong · 26/05/2011 17:32

Have lurked on this thread since the beginning but hope the OP has some good news for us.

This mysterious acceptance to study as a vet reminds me of a friend of a friend when I was at school - she faked a pre-medical school summer programme to get her elderly parents to transfer her thousands of dollars (I think they were in Oz and she said the programme was in Europe).

She created a fake website, letters of acceptance on fake letterhead, glossy brochures, everything and told her parents she needed to pay in three instalments of fees so to avoid bank transfer fees, they should transfer the money to her and she would then pay the fees and for the plane ticket.

Anyway she used the money for a massive blowout trip (to Thailand I think) and partied for a few weeks, then came back pretending she had been at this academic summer programme. I don't know if she ever came clean to her parents about it.

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