The Brave Babes Carry On Past The Easter Booze Offers.

[NotTheMessiahJustMouseface]

Hello,

I'm Mouse, well, I am usually!

Welcome to the Brave Babes Bus.

This is a journey of sobriety, started almost a year ago by the wonderful jesuswhatnext. So why not come aboard and find a seat. There's heaps of support on here whether you are sober, drinking or somewhere in the middle.

And, for those of you who want a bit of history, here are the Previous Threads

Hey Luci

thurso - well bloody done! Not an easy thing to do when the world is against you and making you think 'fuck it'

Re DH and Citalopram, sounds like an allergic reaction to me. Has he stopped taking it or gone back to the docs? Not a nice thing to have happen at all!

Evening Babes.

Evening all

DH didn't get home in time last night for me to go to a meeting, but thank you for the info.

I have so much to be grateful for in my life, nothing serious to worry about at the minute, and when I read about all the bad stuff so many of you have going on, I'm even more ashamed of myself. I had the most lovely day yesterday, and even then all I wanted to do last night was get drunk. There wasn't even any bloody reason or excuse. I didn't have a drink, but only because there was nothing in. I'm pretty disgusted with myself at the minute.

Trist - If you wanted a drink that badly sweets, you'd have got one. If I'm reading your posts correctly, and I hope I'm not offending you, you seem to like the escape that being pissed brings but that's where it ends?

You hate the physical effects but enjoy the mental block?

I think the fact that you didn't give in last night is bloody brilliant.

I used to call a local taxi firm and ask them to go to the offie for me. When I was on my own with DD and the local shop had shut. I'd tell them to get me a bottle of the cheapest white wine, but it had to be one from the chiller so I could drink it now.

Then I'd pay the fare, and the driver for his time and for the wine.

Now that, that is disgusting behaviour when I think back. Oh, and in the past, I have had a neighbour come over to watch DD whislt I DROVE to the local shop for booze. Not sober.

Not big, not clever and something that I will NEVER repeat as long as I have breath in my body.

Trist - don't give yourself such a hard time xx

Mouse you're right in that it has been some years since drinking has resulted in me coming round in hospital, in strangers' beds, or having put myself in serious physical danger.

Not so long since I've compromised the children's safety, been too hungover to give them the attention they need, or breastfed after having had far too much. Or been horribly abusive to my DH, who puts up with me for reasons I can't fathom. Or been continuously too hungover to function at work.

I am horrified at how quickly I'm going back to drinking after our youngest was born. Since reading and posting here I've been able to really make an effort not to have that first drink each night, and I'm hugely grateful for that, and ashamed that I don't offer the same support back. It's hard to convey, but it's not my current level of drinking which scares me, it's the fear of what I'm going to do to my life and my family if I don't get a grip now.

ps - thank you for your post . You're right, I probably do sound over the top and insensitive compared to what others have happening right at the minute.

Evening All (I'm old enough to remember Dixon of Dock green ) I occasionally got onto this site:www.soberrecovery.com/ It's quite useful and informative if a bit 'american'. Just thought some of you may like to have a look

Trist - you're here. Right now, you're here. On the Bus with people who have thought those thoughts. Some more than once.

Stop beating yourself up! You're projecting. Why are you going to fail? Why are you going to fuck this up? Is it written somewhere?

Show me.

Seriously Trist stop it.

Just get through tonight. And then the morning, and then the afternoon, and then the evening.

But start with tonight. You owe nothing to anyone but yourself. If your reward for not drinking is to see your children grow up, change and develop into beautiful people, then take that. Take that as your reward.

Take the control back. Stop predicting that you will fail. You will fail, but only if you believe that you will.

So stop.

Take a breath, take a long hard look at the lady who first posted here and opened herself up to us all. Who asked for support and is getting it.

Stop.

Just get through the next hour. Go to bed. Have a bath. Shag your DH

Whatever it takes to close your day, do it.

And remember, that no matter what, we will all be here for you, every step of the way.

at changeling - Dixon of Dock Green indeed!

Thanks for the site, will have a look.

Trist - X posted, sorry xx

Hello All, I have read some of the thread but not all yet and am inspired by your strength and would love to find some myself. I drink alot, practically every day (apart from when I really am too hungover) and I need to stop and have known this for some time but just haven't quite got round to it.

Going to find the first thread and get reading. Best of luck to you all and hope to speak soon ESP

ESP - you can go back to the first thread by following the links at the top of the page.

Or, you can search 'Me and alcohol have ruined my life' by JesusWhatNext.

Welcome

Right, time for this Mouse to check out and put Nemo in his big bed.

Night all xxx

changelingforthis, I sometimes lurk on the website you mention. It is very good. Some very sad situations on there. I have been guilty in the past of taking comfort in some of the "hardcore alcoholic posts" and thinking, God I'm nowhere near as bad as some of them!
Truth is I have been as bad as the worst drunk and have the potential to be again. I truly believe that and it is quite terrifying.

quick update. we are talking as in making conversation about....football. There has been no acknowledgement of the last few days, its a sif it never happened for him. So we're okay now? I think not! he is also texting and receiving texts on his Blackberry and smiling - no idea who it is and have no intention of asking. he hasn't asked how I got on at the doctor's - I just don't know where to begin with him. please God he doesn't think things are "fixed" enough to want anything physical - he might just get a smack in the mouth.
I have begun to put in place an escape plan - should have done it a long time ago. Things I am most stuck with are the mortgage and who will care for DS when I go.
Anyway, I won't be going for a while - maybe years even - but I will be going.
I have stopped drinking wine, a bottle a night, and last few nights have had two gin and tonics, a little bit of gin in a very very tall glass. Someone will no doubt come along and tell me it's still too much,but it feels like a lot less. All the tonic is making me pee a lot and I'm drinking lots of water during the day too.
Things are still a mess but I feel stronger now that I have a plan, whether or not i ever put it into action.

Trist I was exactly the same as you - my drinking did stop on occasions but gathered speed sooo quickly once i started again. personally I've now made the decision to stop entirely and go to AA, but I could have been reading about me in your post. It's horrible, that feeling that you may be somehow 'damaging' your kids, causing you dh untold misery or whatever. I daily berate the way I was with my now 21 year old, but she has forgiven me - I just need to forgive myself. Only you can decide how you want to battle the booze but this thread is fabulous for help and advice - and I've only been here a week!

mouse check your gmail. and well done to wee Nemo. His Auntie Demented is very proud of him. Such a clever boy!

evening all!, (i remember it too! (old person alert!)

am just to tired to say much, dm has drained my life force today!, i even had to go in her car, she is 73, its a huge 4x4 and she peers between the dashboard and the steering wheel and ignores the roads signs she disagrees with!

anyway, quick thought for tonight - trist!, you dont need to feel disgusted with yourself, you are doing great!, you are a help to someone everytime you post, you arnt selfish and you contribute a great deal on here!. that goes for each of us!, in turn, we all need a bit of help sometimes, some of us are stronger on a particular day than others!, today im fine, tomorrow i might be climbing the walls and in desperate need of the understanding maybe only YOU have!, get my drift?

with that im off to bed!, need to recharge my life force batteries!

love you all

L XXXXXXXX

Morning all - God I had the most hideous dream where i was extremely drunk! i woke up with that 'oh shit, what the hell did I do and who did i really piss off last night' feeling! it was awful - another reminder of why i can't drink Had some good news yesterday - I've got a job interview. It's a good job in the right sector so fingers crossed. Going to spend the day researching the place and checking I will know what I'm on about...

I hope everyone is feeling ok this morning. Onwards and upwards and all good thgoughts to you all xx

good luck with the interview changeling!

Morning!

Just checking in before I go for a swim - last night's sleep was such a contrast from the night before, as soon as my head hit the pillow I was out for the count, best sleep I've had in a long, long time.

Lots of things are making much more sense to me lately - especially what so many of you've said in here, that it's far easier not to drink; no guilt, no health worries, no adding up units and making excuses/finding reasons to get wasted etc.

I know I'm only on day 4 and it's early days but I can see a shift in my behaviour and thinking, and feel that I'm at least laying the foundations to taking better care of myself and those closest to me. So today, I won't be drinking!

Changeling I have dreams like that sometimes, it's horrible! I took a look at the site you linked to last night - I was amused to see they had a bus on the go, too!

Waves to everyone!

good for you Eight! Betcha can't do 30 lengths . I'm going for forty today!!!!

Day 3 for me today and fingers crossed my sleep improves, although I doubt that 3 days off the booze will improve it dramatically. Am beginning to think it's a waste of time even going to bed at night .

obrigada I'm having the same problem, I had 2 and half hours sleep the night beofre last and still couldnt drop off till 1:30 this morning, mind you thats a vast improvement! I'm still so tired though.

I'm feeling so much better in myself, but still staying in and ignoring the door - can't face the thought of going out and I know the longer I leave it the worse it will be. Don't know what to do about that yet, and trying not to think about it just now while I'm feeling ok. On the bright side, it is preventing me from going to buy drink.

Today I'm going to concentrate on getting this house clean, it's a disgusting filthy mess and I feel sorry for dd - I'm getting it sorted today for her. She's such a strength and a massive comfort to me.

Hope everyone else is having a good day, I'll pop in and out when I'm on housework breaks xxx

Believe me, it will get better. It takes about two weeks - I know that probably sounds ages to you both right now, but your sleep will improve - more importantly you'll be getting proper sleep, and you will wake up feeling so much better. Please stick with it!! House cleaning is a very good plan - I always start cleaning when I'm feeling down or in need of a drink! Love to you both x

You're right Changeling, it does seem like ages! It's just so hard to switch your brain off at night to let you go to sleep!