You wait, don't you, for the man to make the first move?

[IngridBergmann]

If there is a first move going to be made, that is...!

And I really don't know. how do you know? No obvious moves have been made at all.

It feels like we are very close friends and we always laugh a lot and talk a lot, but then, this is someone who has a multitude of friends and family and is very socially easy going.

He could be like this with everyone. I don't know if he is just being friendly, or actually does like me but is really, really shy of doing anything about it.

We always hug when we say goodbye and there is a kiss on the cheek but nothing else yet and it's been a few weeks.

He did offer to lend me his spirit level and so I asked if he had a big one, then we both laughed and he said 'Oh yes, enORmous!'

See I could have just kissed him right then and there but I was too scared. If he was shocked it would be awful so I couldn't risk it.

What do you DO? Do you just wait? I think I might go mad. But I will be sensible.

He's just being friendly, isn't he.

Touched his arm? immsorry taking the pee a bit. Ask him out! Ask him out!

Excellent plan. And when you go round make sure you are dressed like this and I can pretty much guarantee he will get the message :o

*points to chair again...sits Ingrid down

just ask him out, go on. stop making excuses and take control, maybe he's waiting for you to make the moves?

No, just remember feeling all swoony when you posted that you two were just grinning at each other at the social .

Get it sorted before someone else snaps him up!

Ingrid, don't work out when his next day off is, ask him! then suggest lunch/walk/something/anything!!!

ask him out! ask him out!

i agree with mycatoscar's suggestion

just ask him!

LOL at that link If I could get away with it after two kids I would give it a go!

I'd ask him, really I would but I have asked blokes out far too many times - it was always me sending the valentine cards, always me making the first move and it scared them off. Apart from the assholes who were happy to let me run around after them, and take it as license to mess me about as I was so keen

so if I ask him I'm scared it will go the wrong way, either he'll be like 'Oh my God, I'm sorry but I just don't fancy you - sorry' and I'll make a rapid escape and never talk to him again. Or he might turn out not to care that much about me and I'll be really insecure from the start in case he didn't like me enough to ask me. iyswim.

It isn't that I haven't done it before, I just want to know that he cares enough. But I'm not good at playing hard to get and don't want to put him off.

I think I have been reading too much 'he's just not that into you' to believe in asking him myself.

then get a friend to ask him - one that you can trust not to ask for herself

If he lives nearby, couldn't you send a text saying you are bored and does he fancy coming round to watch a film with you?

I wouldn't ask him out for a date, I really wouldn't.

Noooo, conflicting advice.! Don't do this to me!
I doubt he would have time for a film...but I do think diy is the way to go. He is always happy to talk about tiling

I am going to wait and see. I've decided. I really, really like him but if he really likes me he will find a way. We might be destined for friendship, which is Ok with me - you can have beautiful, lovely, kind, attractive friends can't you? And then I could even tell him how lovely he is without it mattering.
It isn't so much doing anything about it, it's being close enough to tell him how I feel and what I think of him, and not losing the friendship. I think I need to know him better before taking the risk.

Thankyou all very much for listening to me blathering on. It is a pressure cooker situation, if I release it here I can go away and be normal with lover boy!

He's so nice I really can't blow it.

Well, I didn't ask him to go for coffee but he asked me, this morning but it was with about 5 other mums at school, so hardly intimate, and we barely spoke to each other across the table.

However I gave him a lift home which was really nice, and then later another lift down to get the kids (four of them in a tiny car!) and brought them back here while he did some work stuff, and then he came to get them and had some more coffee.

Nothing happened. It's LOVELY being with him but nothing happened. and if I can't tell him that he's beautiful really soon, I think I might explode with frustration. I am hovering over a text. It'll end up in drafts with the other 32 I haven't sent.

A wise person once told me: if you can feel sexual tension, chances are the other person can too. On that basis I say: ask him for a drink! The worst he can say is no, and I doubt it'd affect you being buddies in the long run.

Really? sqeeeeeee!!!!

Oh I do hope so.

I feel like just saying 'I love you!' but that's a bit strong isn't it. It feels selfish...perhaps he isn't ready to have those things said.

We could just go on as we are for ever and it would be brilliant. But I would need to jump him at some point...

It was so great in the car - three kids in the back, and one on his lap, all singing and laughing and mucking about and the rain coming down outside and I could have asked him to marry me right then.

It was just perfect.

three kids in the back, and one on his lap

BIIIGGGG Mistake!

You do know that this thread will now get hijacked by MNers screaming at you for a lack of car safety dont you?! Get it deleted quick :o

LOL! I did mention to him that it wasn't strictly protocol, but we could probably all cram in, and he was up for it

God I am going a bit nuts tonight. I hope t is the full moon and my hormones. Should ease off in a day or two...poor bloke!

sorry but mumsnet jury has spoken loud and clear - ASK HIM !!! As part of your registration you had to tick a box to abide by the decisions of mumsnet juries otherwise when the end of the world arrives we'll sail right past you in our warship but might swipe your 'oh fuck rusksack'

Seriously though - Life is too short to waste - he might really like you too and just think that you could be doing the dirty deed right now . GO FOR IT.

get a little tipsy one night and steer the conversation round to people who you've fancied in the past - eg celebs, first boy fancied etc, and see where it goes

hopefully to bed

Could you say in a jokey way "don't you think we'd make a good couple?" and see how he responds? He might laugh in a "yeah, we're good mates" way, or he might smile and say "actually you could be right" :o

In my experience men are usually quite obvious - does he make opportunities to talk to you? Does he prolong conversations unnecessarily? Does he have a warm glow in his eyes when he's looking at you?

If so, you need to orchestrate a situation involving you, him and alcohol. Soon.

Or at least "How about coffee without all the others?"

Alcohol might help. I've told him I don't drink but I could make an exception.

He asked if I ever go out with the other mums. I don't, and he said 'once in a while though would be nice'. I don't think he was trying to steer it. I'm not sure what he meant. But he did ask me to coffee this morning.

I think I'm trying to work him out before I take a risk. I'm scarted of scaring the poor bugger off.

I sent a text though saying he and his kids are really lovely and I hoped he didn't mind me saying so.
It was draft number 44 so I hope it finally struck the right balance between friendly enough not to be menacing/bunny boiler and 'she definitely likes me'.

(he doesn't always reply especially to pointless texts, just so you lot don't sit around for ages expecting an update)

LOL at warship scenario. My OFRS contains only chocolate and durex. I can't think to pack anything else right now.

any reply yet?

zero

predictably. it was a really pointless message. I think he often just doesn't check his phone anyway..I do feel silly now. But at least I am a bit calmer.