Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Blow Job troubles- bit exteme warning

275 replies

GlitterHo · 10/03/2011 15:23

sensitive subject _I've never been any good at them, I too much of a gag reflex I can never take * ahem full length without gagging.

I feel really bad as I'm letting him down on my side of the deal as he doesnt get satisfied properly.

the other night was just messing around and he just grabbed the back of my head and was literally like shagging my head, felt like I couldn't breathe and was gagging everywhere told him to stop eventually, started crying felt really bad I should be able to do it :(

Any tips on how I can round it??

OP posts:
dittany · 10/03/2011 20:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ballarat · 10/03/2011 20:42

You're obviously young and used an offensive term but please don't try and defend it. You can aplogise and move on but please don't come back on and suggest that language has evolved sufficiently to allow that word to be used inoffensively.

It is far more offensive to try and defend your usage of it than it was to use it in the first place.

This really is immaterial to your tosser of a BF and his disrespectful behaviour but needs addressing nevertheless.

StewieGriffinsMom · 10/03/2011 20:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

coffeeinbed · 10/03/2011 20:52

PC?
This is not about being PC, this is about being decent.
Improving your technique?
This is one of the most depressing threads I've come across.
Dump him and grow up.

garlicbutter · 10/03/2011 21:59

Hello, newish posters :)

For the first 16 years of my sex life, I thought I hated giving blow jobs. Then I got divorced and discovered that there's more to sucking cock than having your mouth fucked. I'd just been very unlucky with my twat of a husband and the lovers I'd known before him. They all pushed my head, held it in place and did pumping actions. Revolting!

Lucky for me, I then met some much nicer men and discovered I really enjoy this activity. If anybody tries this head-grabbing shit on me now, I very much do say what I advised OP! A blow job is something I CHOOSE TO DO, not something that's done TO me.

PeterAndreForPM · 10/03/2011 22:03

GH, you ok ?

ongakgak · 10/03/2011 22:09

Have I read the post wrong that she cried after the head grabbing and it sort of all happened quickly? He apologised.

It was a shitty experience for the poster, but how can you go from there to "leave the bastard", PeterANdre I am surprised you are saying this and not taking a more measured view. You are the name changer I think you are? Fairly legendary?

If the OP is in a mutual consensual relationship that is good almost all the time, why can't this be treated as a blip. And giving good head is a good skill. It should of course be reciprocal [wunk]

ongakgak · 10/03/2011 22:10

garlicbutter there is nothing wrong with improving technique and evolving your bedroom antics. It is healthy non? What the OPs partner did was fucking gross, but a mistake. People are allowed to make mistakes?

PeterAndreForPM · 10/03/2011 22:13

ongakgak...if you know me under the correct previous name, I am very puzzled that you think I would condone a young woman learning new sexual techniques to please a man who has hurt her Confused

receiving good head is a privilege, not a right, and sexual violence invalidates that privilege

Janefeelsold · 10/03/2011 22:14

If PeterA is who I think she is, she is posting very much true to form in the frank way she always does. Grin

Janefeelsold · 10/03/2011 22:15

x posts! Grin

ongakgak · 10/03/2011 22:18

yes, I can totally see that, but what is making me Confused is that if this is a one off, he messed up and in a big way. They should talk it all out and make some agreements on what is acceptable bedroom behaviour. surely. Then yes, improving technique would be a good idea for long term mutual happiness? I mean plenty of women enjoy giving oral as well as receiving it. It is not a weapon to with hold and then bestow like some BJ present.

PeterAndreForPM · 10/03/2011 22:19

I would with hold BJ's from a bloke that tried to shove his cock down my throat

absolutely

dittany · 10/03/2011 22:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

dittany · 10/03/2011 22:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

garlicbutter · 10/03/2011 22:22

ongakgak, he won't learn from his "mistake" if she doesn't tell him loud and clear, will he?

Since I did post some advice on technique, I find your comment rather strange. Confused right back atcha.

AyeRobot · 10/03/2011 22:23

What dittany said.

And (whilst I don't think this is the issue at all) if anyone would need to improve their bedroom technique, surely it would be him?

PeterAndreForPM · 10/03/2011 22:25

yup, AR

he is the one in need of "improvement"

being considerate would be a decent start

ongakgak · 10/03/2011 22:27

Dittany and PeterA i agree with both of you. I really do. I am not some idiot brain who vacuums twice as day cos me man don't like to come home to a dirty house.

I just cant't help but think the OPs partner got carried away, thought she liked it, very quickly ascertained she didn't. She has come on here and got some excellent advice about telling him whats what. Once that has been done, do you not think the relationship could survive, and then also good healthy enjoyable sexual practice between them.

The OP should not be thinking about getting technique right, but more about getting the relationship right. I took it for granted that she would have read him the riot act after the head grabbing.

I think maybe I have been naive here?

garlicbutter · 10/03/2011 22:29

the OPs partner got carried away, thought she liked it

Huh? Thought she liked having a dick forced down her throat??

What don't you get about the "pushing head is bad" part of this? Nobody on this thread has said blowjob = bad. We have said FORCING is bad.

ongakgak · 10/03/2011 22:31

so garlic butter as someone who has been with multiple partners surely you can see that a guy does this and is thinking this is what women love, I see it ALL the time in porn so as much as that is misguided and ill informed, does it make them abusers?

I think my Confused has been misconstrued.

PeterAndreForPM · 10/03/2011 22:34

maybe you have, ongakgak

maybe I have read too much into his sexual violence

who knows ?

I certainly don't have a problem with your POV...only OP knows if he is a decent bloke after all

she sounds very young though (the name also is a giveaway...think about it) and do you not agree telling her in no uncertain terms that she doesn't have to tolerate behaviour like this is a good thing ?

I have dumped blokes for less than this...and been totally happy in that decision

PeterAndreForPM · 10/03/2011 22:35

didn't finish my sentence...I don't have a problem with your POV, in that I think you are entitled to it

dittany · 10/03/2011 22:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

garlicbutter · 10/03/2011 22:38

Christ, if we excused everything that happens in porn movies like that, we'd all be regulars at the A&E ward!

Poor OP was left with the impression that her technique wasn't up to scratch. Whereas her partner was, in fact, trying to force himself down her facial orifice. If he'd instantly realised he'd just caused harm to the woman he loves and is not, in fact, in a porn movie, she wouldn't have been left with the impression she'd done something wrong. Would she??

Swipe left for the next trending thread