The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Carry On Into Spring - BOING!!

[Mouseface]

Previous Thread

The One Before

And All Others Before That

So, this is The Brave Babes Battle Bus.

All are welcome, regardless of your background, stage of sobriety, or anything else.

I'm Mouse and have been here since June 2010, and in control of my drinking since August 2nd 2010.

You will find unconditional support here. Always.

Whatever you feel about drinking (or not), we've been in your shoes. Some more than once.

So, come say hi, come grab a seat. There is always an open door and a warm welcome on this Bus.

Afternoon Babes.

No sleep for Nemo or me last night so I'm wandering round like a fart in a trance.

Playgroup was good, Nemo actually went off to the palyroom without me!

Physio and hydrotherapy next - Eeeeeeeeeeeek - then off for a hobble to the castle and park in the glorious sunshine later.

thurso - everyone else has said what I wanted to so {{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}} to you lady. It will get easier. xxx

IsinDe - I don't evny you today. Hot Arriva train to Brum? YUK!!

Right you lovely lot, I'm ofski.

Be good xxxxxx

'playroom'

Hello, you beautiful babes, and boybabe (where are you?, and how are you?)

Thank you so much for your messages. I have got a lot of work done this morning, and feel better for not "overthinking", and just getting on with other things.

Ma EXACTLY! angry, resentful and guilty, and my G, he's just phoned again ! 3rd time in as many hours.....asking if I would like to go out for dinner...gaah, follows the same pattern. Sorry writing as I think here..
Yes, extra support has been required, and been given, shame on me! I act the part and that seem's to be ok, making me even more angry and resentful.
Oh well, this will pass......

JWN only third party that would help at the moment would be large brick thrown at DH!, but I know I'm being mean, and will get myself back in gear for this evening. I just know that he can't take any "relationship" talk at the moment, so have to hold it in.

The good news is that although I mightily feel like drinking wine at night until I fall asleep, to blot things out, for some reason I haven't. It's like when the children are ill, you know you have to get up and do tomorrow, and have to be on.

Mouse sweets, I hope the hydro goes well, and am very of your walk in the park this afternoon, I have the ironing to look forward to! Will nemo take a walk in his shoes?

Right, off to make giant tuna sandwich, trying to diet

Speak later.
xxxx

"I act the part and that seem's to be ok, making me even more angry and resentful."

Are you SURE you're not me?
You know the pattern, you know the drill. Do the dutiful thing and DH will be fooled happy.
You're not being mean BTW - you are being squeezed by the task of holding up a needy person and he's heavy.
Thinking of you
x

thurso and ma - quick hijack from the booze chat, I hope you don't mind me sharing this with you.

You are both in the same boat by the sounds of it. You are both having to support partners who are almost crushing you with their own neediness 9for want of a better word).

It's such a hard situation to be in. You must both feel some sort of resentment towards them, maybe not all the time but there has to be days when you want to scream out loud to be left the feck alone. They are draining you when niether of you are firing on all cylinders to start with.

The fact that you both have your sense of humour intact most days is amazing. Truly.

As much as you both want to pack it all in at times it's clear to me, at least from your posts, that this fight is one worth taking part in, for now and hopefully for good until your partners can start to release their emotional hold over you IYSWIM?

You are both such a massive support to others, even though you have your own demons to get rid of and a family to hold together. You both repress you own needs and desires to 'keep the peace'.

I really admire that in both of you. It's not at all easy to do that. Not because you're both selfish, because you are not, but because you have to put every ounce of your being into hoping that it's for all of the right reasons.

And you still manage to do this and remain here, on the Bus with us.

I have to say that I'm lucky to know you both. There are people out there that could learn a hell of a lot from you ma and you too thurso.

Aaaah Mouse you honey banana's [big hug and kiss icon]
not doing anything special, certainly am not anything special, just keeping on, keeping on.

And, at times like these I don't look on this as a booze chat thread, but as somewhere I can come to feel sane!, with friends who will understand.

I'm the lucky one
xxx

Evening All

thurso and ma I echo everything mouseface has said, you are wonderful fantastic women!! Big Hugs to both of you.

Well my poor back is agony today, and i am off on the sleeper tonight
Off to my dd concert right now

But love to all

Bafana

Have a good night bafana - sorry you are in pain lovely. Back pain is the pits. xx

Oh mouse how very kind (and perceptive) of you! I'm blushing at such undeserved praise, i don't have to cope with a fraction of what you do, so right back atcha girl
I hold it together because I have to, but deep down I know there will be a day when I will finally go. it has taken me a very long time to accept that fact, but I know it, and just knowing it brings me a kind of peace for now.
Tonight i went out for a run wobble - walking and jogging to a podcast called "couch to 5K in 9 weeks". Yeah, right!! this is week 2 but even thought I am very unfit and really struggle, just being outside on my own for half an hour is a little slice of "me" time which I value.
Like Thurso, you just keep on keeping on because without you they can't cope and although i don't want to spend the rest of my life with him, I can't abandon him and the children and be responsible for his destruction.
he's not a monster - just needy and emotionally suffocating - and I need to breathe.
I fail often on this bus with the drinking, althought I have improved vastly, but it is a place to come where people listen, and make me laugh and share things and I don't feel so alone.
You are all wonderful, you mouse especially!!! (and JWN, and Venus, and Silver, and Bafana, and Bwanna, and Noteven, and MIF and THURSO)

Ma - I didn't post what I did to make you , I posted it because it's TRUE. And the same goes for thurso.

Life is fucking hard, shite and unpredicable at times. But you, you are riding the wave. As is thurso. It's a shame that you have to but you are.

And, one day, you'll both be where you want to be. With who you want to be. Be that your current partners or not. But as long as your hearts are full, who cares.

You are two of the strongest, most selfless women I have ever had the pleasure of knowing.

Keep going Brave Babes. Life is not a box of chocolates xxxxxx

IsinDe - WELL FUCKING DONE GIRL!!! That has to feel like a HUGE deal to you. I'm proud of you. And you should be too.

Right. I'm knackered. three walks, playgroup, physio and hydro have done me in. I need to sleep.

Night night Babes. Stay safe. xxxxxx

What the Jeff is with the fecking bold? It's doing my head in now. I may have to shout at Tech.

Night xxxxxxxx

Sleep well mouse and sleep well little nemo.

Isindie well done on your train journey, break that cycle!

Sending hugs to ma and thurso, but emphasising that these are hugs with no strings attached and no expectations of anything else afterwards

Venus
Speak later, just off to wake DH, and have just had long, hot, bath, so need a long, tall, drink...possibly a long, tall man , as well...but, can dream

Isindie Well done you! I have never been on a train with a bar , but can imagine it's very tempting, still, not as tempting as DP and TW's. Have a good evening,what's left of it, and hoping good sleeps for you.
xxx

BOO just checking in x

Hey Babes
you all make me proud and very happy to 'know' you. I love my little fix of alcoholics, rather than alcohol, in the eveniings (didya see what I did there?). I would certainly be drowning without you all.
Sleep well babes and babies.
X

at Venus and the no strings attached hugs!
hey Silver - good to see you.
Yo Isindie - way to go girl.
Night night all - Thurso, sleep well and un-fiddled with my friend

well, excuse me while i barge into this love-in!

i feel all fired up business wise tonight - i have a meeting in the morning which im looking forward to, ive done my nails and got my new trousers all ready, my meeting notes are done (and spell checked! ) and im just fucking business whirlwind! - i know it sounds daft, but i almost enjoy work more when the pressure is really on, i like fast moving sceanrios, i like deadlines, i like living by the seat of my pants i suppose and i really like doing it sober!, i was really worried that 'sober working' would be boring, but it really isnt - and i have a new laptop bag! (god, hope im not catching the strange stationary loving bug!)

anyway - i think you are all wonderful too!

night night lovely babes!

see you tomorrow

L XXXXXXXXXX

Morning all! I'm having a really hard couple of days. Longing for a drink but not giving in. You are indeed all wonderful, even though I'm rubbish at giving support, I would be drinking without this thread.

Actually, I have a bit of time now as dd has left for Kindergarten and the baby is still asleep (but I can hear him stirring), so I'm going to try and rant write a bit more.

Found out a few weeks ago that my lovely, lovely boss is leaving my company :( This is so sad because he and I got along really well and appreciated each other's way of working. All along he has been training me to take over when he leaves and this is one reason why I stayed in the shitty job. Then I got another phone call. I am not getting his job, someone JUNIOR to me, who I brought to the company and trained, is getting his job. I am pissed off, really pissed off. When they told me it felt like a slap in the face.

For this and other reasons, I just want to leave now. I am way, way over qualified for this job, I stuck it for 3 years to put my DH through university, but his degree has dragged on and on, we are now approaching the end of the 4th year and he still hasn't finished and hasn't got a job lined up and I have had enough really. I really sympathise with those of you supporting depressed husbands. Mine is not depressed but I am always taking the brunt of his bad moods and negativity and money worries. And he just says, keep the job, it pays well - yeah, so HE can swan around being a student for another year, paying 600 Franks to make records with his band and complaining about every penny I spend on clothes for our fucking children. ARGH.

Sorry for rant! Didn't realise how much that needed to get out Will post before I change my mind and delete all of it, but no need to reply! Baby is crying so I have to go.

maddogs - that's tough, and it hursts so much when someone else gets appointed to a job like that. I can remember being in a similar position and I am to say that I behaved very childishly towards to new person who was appointed - very passive aggressive - not proud of it.

What do you WANT to happen now, for you (ignore dh for the moment)? What kind of job would you love to have that uses your skills and excites and enthuses you? Ideally how many hours per week would you like to work? (still ignoring dh's situation for the moment) How close can you get to that ideal? What would you need to do to achieve it - some more training? a reduced salary? a full-time role for a year before you can negotiate part-time hours?

Can you work out a reasonable position for you, can you find a job you'd fall in love with, and then be assertive with dh about his responsibility to complete his training etc.

Whatever happens maddogs don't imagine that it is hopeless, and don't let it divert you from keeping sober.

morning!!

maddogs - what venus said! + TELL dh how you really feel, dont let it fester and build!, thats a sure fire route to a bottle of booze! (i would also put my foot down about the 'band' crap!)

anyway, must be off, off to give alan sugar a run for his money!

laters lovely babes!

L XXXXX

MOrning everyone

Not surprised your feeling peeved Maddogs - thats awful to give someone more junior to you the job when you have been working towards it for so long.

Wel done Isindi on not drinking on the train, sounds like you are starting to break the habit of drinking on the way home

How are things with your suffocating lovely DH's Ma and Thurso

I made the mistake of weighing myself and I have put half a stone on!!!! Realised I have been drinking a bit too much the last week and eating too much chocolate and crisps so I am cutting down. My DD has put an apple in my lunch bag as I said I wanted to eat more healthy. APart from that things are good -getting my finances in order and re decorating my kitchen. Once again giving myself too many goals of things to do but getting the DC's to help with the kitchen, thought it would be fun. In reality the hound will get in the way and end up covered in pain like last time

or even covered in paint!