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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I found some porn in my bathroom

1002 replies

Stupiditysquared · 19/02/2011 12:58

.. and asked the DCs if they'd downloaded it.

This was a pretty stupid thing to do. Nuclear war has erupted. The trouble was that in 18 years of marriage, DH has never used porn (so far as I am aware). He never normally goes into that bathroom, whereas the DCs do. Also I did not know that he'd been at home. It never occurred to me that it was him.

Now DD is screaming at her father that he is a filthy pervert. He's screaming at me for being stupid, which in fairness it was. And I'm in shock really.

What next

OP posts:
emmyloopsyloo · 19/02/2011 19:25

No I agree it's really ick.

dittany · 19/02/2011 19:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BeerTricksPotter · 19/02/2011 19:30

This reply has been deleted

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PeterAndreForPM · 19/02/2011 19:31

Mal, I realise it is probably real

unfortunately

ScarlettWalking · 19/02/2011 19:36

Agree with dittany here. Don't talk your daughter out of her natural reaction and feelings that her father wanked in her bathroom and left porn for her to find.

He should be mortified. His reaction is very odd. I think there is something very wrong here and I agree and feel for your dd.

PeterAndreForPM · 19/02/2011 19:36

is ok dittany, my previous Hmm comments were ignored anyway

glad to see them validated, and also by emmy

if my DH left porn in our teenagers bathroom, a room he didn't normally use, I would first crucify him, and then start to think "why there...and why so forgetful " Hmm

what is wrong with his own bathroom/bedroom ?

strange terrotorial kinda thing going on, don't like to delve deeper into the reasons why that might be, coupled with he leaving behind of "evidence"

it is only sheer chance that the mother here found it before the kids did

and no, there is nothing wrong with my mindset here

Malificence · 19/02/2011 19:38

I've just asked DH what he thinks of a man who left a very explicit porn picture in the family bathroom ( we're not even talking about the parents private ensuite here) - he doesn't know how he would ever be able to look his daughter in the eyes again.

Most young teenage girls would think that their father was some kind of pervert if she saw what he had been masturbating to ( is "spit roasting" the correct term? Sad ), a child should never be exposed to that level of knowledge about their parents sexuality.

PeterAndreForPM · 19/02/2011 19:39

mal, I get the impression it isn't even the "family" bathroom

it is quite explicitly the "childrens bathroom"

Malificence · 19/02/2011 19:41

Apologies, I realise that I don't actually know if the DD saw or knows exactly what the picture was. Blush

dittany · 19/02/2011 19:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

emmyloopsyloo · 19/02/2011 19:57

Some blerdy common sense, I have crossed swords with Dittany before but she is 100% right here.

He left a spitroasting pic in the kids bathroom which is only luck she didn't find it first.

The mother accuses the DD, before even contemplating it may be her arse lovely husband who wouldn't do such a thing ever. But her dd would. Hmm

You have this man on some kind of pedestal and dragging your DD into it and allowing him to shout at you infront of her as it's your problem. What kind of picture are you painting for your dd's future?

A man has a wank, ok no biggie. Some men use porn. However to print off graphic porn image, and specifically wank in his childrens bathroom which he never usually uses and leaves it there. Ughhhhhhhhh.

Also decent men if their eoves have an issue with porn don't expect them just stfu and deal with it.

The DD getting grief is not on, she is rightly distraught. I think you need to start really looking at who your DH is in all honesty.

That was a repaeat basically of what I said on about 6 mashed up posts for the purpose of what's being discussed now.

PeterAndreForPM · 19/02/2011 19:57

dittany, to be fair to the OP, the reason she described what was in he picture (and yes, you are correct, she confirmed it) is because she was appalled by it herself

emmyloopsyloo · 19/02/2011 19:58

*wives, watching tv and typing Blush

GwendolineMaryLacey · 19/02/2011 19:59

Did you ask him why their bathroom? If the house was empty what was wrong with his own? Is it near the printer or something?

Stupiditysquared · 19/02/2011 20:04

Sorry - just been eating. To clarify, neither of the children saw the pictures. I found them first. I have never heard of the term spit-roasting before tonight and frankly URGH

The bathroom arrangements at home are a bit unusual. We have an en-suite bathroom which has sort of become DH's because it just has. We frequently need to shower at the same time. So all my stuff is in the main bathroom and all his stuff is in the en-suite.

DD has her own bathroom but DS doesn't. They both use the main bathroom with me, even DD. She prefers the shower in there. It works because they tend to bath/shower in the evenings while I do mornings.

I don't believe that DH left those pictures in there with any malicious intent. I think he just left them in there forgetfully.

I am highly worried about the use of porn - it's not something I feel comfortable with, and we are going to have to discuss it.

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 19/02/2011 20:08

the op says a bathroom that the children mainly use, and that she thought he didnt use..

possibly the second bathroom doesnt have a bath in it, and he felt like laying in a bath for a change....

he accidentally left the bloody pic lying around... he didnt do it on purpose for one of his kids to find...

he is not a pervert, and the daughter needs to be reassured that he isnt a pervert...

squeakytoy · 19/02/2011 20:09

x-posted..

but I was correct too... lol..

madonnawhore · 19/02/2011 20:11

Why did he use that bathroom if he has his 'own' bathroom?

dittany · 19/02/2011 20:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BeerTricksPotter · 19/02/2011 20:16

This reply has been deleted

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squeakytoy · 19/02/2011 20:23

No he ISNT a pervert ffs.

And yes, he could have forgotten it.. clearly he DID forget it...

maybe the phone rang, maybe he went to get something out of his own bathroom, got sidetracked and completely forgot..

I left a pregnancy test in the bathroom recently.. and really did not mean to leave that on view, but I forgot about it.

People do forget things.. it happens.

Some people look at porn, not all of them are perverts.

One of my close mates is a porn actress, and she certainly doesnt feel abused. She does what she does because she wanted to, and she is happy doing it.

BitOfFun · 19/02/2011 20:25

As a slight aside, why should a woman "clean the bathroom more often" to ensure her husband hasn't left his wank fodder lying around? That bit perplexed me, as well as the whole OP.

madonnawhore · 19/02/2011 20:25

How would he feel if it was the other way round and you had left porn in the family bathroom?

Stupiditysquared · 19/02/2011 20:25

I think there might be something in the territoriality thing

Although I'm sure he did just forget the pictures.

God knows how you forget pictures like that. Wish I could.

OP posts:
PeterAndreForPM · 19/02/2011 20:29

OP...what do you think that "something" might be ?

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