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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I have just discovered that i am pregnant but, don't want to be with my partner no more!

303 replies

sweetchecks · 26/01/2011 18:15

Done a pregnancy test today ad it came back positive.

My boyfriend is wanker and i don't want to be with him no more :/

i don't know what to do shall i tell him am pregnant?

OP posts:
purplepidjin · 26/01/2011 18:24

He has the right to know he's going to be a father.

Whether he's capable of being a Daddy or not is another issue, and he's obviously not a good boyfriend!

You don't have to stay with him just because you've been lumbered with his sperm. HTH

homeboys · 26/01/2011 18:30

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theresapotatoundermysink · 26/01/2011 18:38

I also got pregnant by a partner I didn't particularly see a future with . We stayed together until DD was 4 months old and then realised it was best to go our separate ways.

If your bf is actually a wanker ditch him now. If not then surely it's worth giving it a go for the sake of your child, at least you'll know you tried your best to be a family.

nulgirl · 26/01/2011 18:38

Didn't you have a previous thread where you said that you only got back together 3 weeks ago and he proposed after cheating on you and getting another woman pregnant? Very quick conception. Did you not use a condom considering his past?

RealityIsKnockedUp · 26/01/2011 18:39

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Jajas · 26/01/2011 18:41

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RealityIsKnockedUp · 26/01/2011 18:43

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HecateQueenOfWitches · 26/01/2011 18:44

Don't be with him then. Having a child is no reason to stay in a miserable relationship. You are certainly doing the child no favours.

theresapotatoundermysink · 26/01/2011 18:44
Lulumaam · 26/01/2011 18:45

In your shoes, I would have a termination.

and grow up, you have a responsibility to yourself and the child you already have to be sensible and use contraception. and protect yourself

ilovesooty · 26/01/2011 18:45

I hope you are going to tell him so that he can cough up maintenance. Both of you need to grow up and start taking contraception and responsibility a bit more seriously.

Lulumaam · 26/01/2011 18:47

just read the other thread brieflty

he's a cheat who had a child with his ex whilst with you??

i'd get checked for STIs

don't marry him, don't be with him, he sounds vile

MigratingCoconuts · 26/01/2011 18:52

The title of this thread sounds like a country and western song....[bsmile]

seriously. Just wanted to echo everything said on this thread and the last. Ditch him.

And be way more careful about picking your man in the future.

You deserve to treat yourself better than this

davidtennantsmistress · 26/01/2011 18:57

will echo the other ladies, i'm not too much older than you, got engaged at 19 and married at 21, (no children to be fair then thou) anyhow,

please listen to these ladies, they speak sense, this 'man' you are with tbh is pathetic - I could bash him till the cows come home but honestly he's not a good dad or role model for ANY child, yours or his. let's look at the facts:-

  1. cheated on you and got his ex pg
  2. dithers and runs between you both
  3. has lied 4)isn't trustworthy

the list can go on - the only good thing I read on the other thread is that he works.

my advice to you is get as far away from this man as possible, if you want to have the child that's up to you, but you're young, you have your entire life ahead of you.

You have a daughter - what would you tell her if she came to you and said all of this?

trust me this man will play you both, he'll run back & forth & have sex (prob unprotected cos he doens't like condoms I assume?!?) with you both. YOU DESERVE better, DEMAND better, you're an amazing woman - not enough women think this - you are fab, he should be worshipping you - that's a real man - one who would give his everything to his lady not this pathetic excuse.

anyhow do you tell him - up to you = decided do you want it? if yes tell him now but say it's over if no I'd not tell him tbh.

sockythesockpuppet · 26/01/2011 18:57

i agree wiv evryfing the OP sez

sweetchecks · 26/01/2011 19:03

lulumaam i did get checked the first time of sleeping with him and i have had my message back that says i am clean.

At first we wasn't using contraception, but after a week i told him i wanted to use something. So we did.

OP posts:
MrsFlittersnoop · 26/01/2011 19:04

I wouldn't keep this baby if I were you.

You need to sort your life out. Get some reliable contraception, start a training course, get a job, and be the best mum you can for your 2 yr old.

Stop shagging losers.

RealityIsKnockedUp · 26/01/2011 19:06

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lulumaam · 26/01/2011 19:10

why on earth would you not use contraception?

i thikn you need to decide what is best for you and the child you already have, exclude him , he's unreliable and decide how you can move forward, at the age you are, with no partner and a toddler and possibly antoher child... and very little self respect if you sleep with a cheating liar.

do something about how you feel, improive your self worth , make something of your lfie

HecateQueenOfWitches · 26/01/2011 19:13

you do understand that having sex with someone makes babies, don't you?

If you don't want to end up with a dozen kids then USE SOMETHING!

Every.
Time.

Good God.

ilovesooty · 26/01/2011 19:35

FFS, are you really 20? You sound about 12. Are you so thick that you'll spend a week having unprotected sex with someone when you have a child already?

Rhinestone · 26/01/2011 19:55

Sweetchecks, I responded to one of your threads but have since seen the others.

Seriously, you need to grow up and start taking responsibility for your life as it is sounding like a Jeremy Kyle show . Get a grip - surely your life has more potential than being a perennial 'baby mama' for losers?

And Jajas is right - it's 'anymore', not 'no more'. Get some self respect and if you had a crap education then for goodness sake try and rectify it now. Plenty of online refresher courses you can do and as a minimum look at this -

www.economist.com/research/styleguide/

I'm not trying to be unkind but your life is on a downward spiral right now and I'm sure you're capable of more.

Mobly · 26/01/2011 19:58

Bit pointless giving the op advice about contraception now isn't it? It's too bloody late- and 'you should have done this' type responses are hardly helpful now are they?

Going forward op, I do think you should tell him you're pregnant but really you would be doing the right thing by going it alone on this one I think.

You sound like you know this already. You need to work on your self-esteem.

Good luck with everything.

Mobly · 26/01/2011 19:59

I really don't think you're grammar and spelling is a priority at the moment!

ilovesooty · 26/01/2011 20:01

Why would she be doing the right thing by going it alone? At the very least he should take his share of financial responsibility if she goes ahead with the pregnancy.

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