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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

I have just discovered that i am pregnant but, don't want to be with my partner no more!

303 replies

sweetchecks · 26/01/2011 18:15

Done a pregnancy test today ad it came back positive.

My boyfriend is wanker and i don't want to be with him no more :/

i don't know what to do shall i tell him am pregnant?

OP posts:
FellatioNelson · 26/01/2011 23:35

Madame Defarge is right.

Appletrees · 26/01/2011 23:36

To you it was a stupid mistake earlier in the thread.

ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo · 26/01/2011 23:37

is that to me appletrees?

yes unprotected sex is a stupid mistake, the result of taht is now a baby. is that a difficult concept?

Original poster
sweetchecks · 26/01/2011 23:39

portaloo she don't like me an him and she caused alot of problems when we were together and even when we wernt.

FellatioNelson yea people do look at people having problems with abortions like you do. But i also do agree on abortions over the sheer fact of if you know you can get pregnant but don't want to deal with the circumstances eg getting pregnant then maybe you should i don't know get the implant etc.

I am not asking about abortions here, ii am asking on whether to tell the babys dad.

I would never call a child a 'mistake' i would like to use the terms, i would rather of waited till i had my self sorted job/home/partner etc. But what's done is done. So if your problem here is the abortion thing then Why you causing arguments and disagreements on THIS thread?

OP posts:
Appletrees · 26/01/2011 23:39

Not for me. It is for Sweet though.

It is a choice, Sweet has made a choice. She sees no problem with that choice.

I'm suggesting that for the sake of her children she establishes herself in the most secure position possible, which is staying with her parents. And focussing on the children. And not having any more stupid mistakes.

Appletrees · 26/01/2011 23:40

"I would rather of waited till i had my self sorted job/home/partner etc."

Then why didn't you?

Please, next time, take your own advice.

ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo · 26/01/2011 23:41

im not sure i understand your reasoning for pointing out what i said appletrees. can you clarify please?

scottishmummy · 26/01/2011 23:42

psm-im stalking you?well that got me intrigued.so wee trawl and............

you have had 220 posts since 01/1/11.and i have been on one of them.this one!wow scary biscuits that i jump all over you all the time,huh

scarier is your heightend sense of being got at and unfounded complaints of stalking.

you know what i post, folk may concur,maybe not. but largely we all accept is words on a screen - not personal.and not worthy of stalking claims

however i do have a disparate gaggle who variously have claimed i stalk/get at/follow them just to get them. maybe chum up with them.there you will find a sympathetic ear

and of course if genuinely aggrieved you will tell mnhq

Appletrees · 26/01/2011 23:42

Hmm I'm not sure I understand what you don't understand.

FellatioNelson · 26/01/2011 23:43

Ok. Fair enough. You should definitely tell the baby's dad, because you will, presumably, be expecting him to pay you maintenance for the child. He can't do that if you don't tell him, now can he? I hope he has a very good job. Two new babies to support at the same time, with different mothers. Woopie. I bet he's just gagging to get the old checkbook out.

ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo · 26/01/2011 23:44

you pointed out that i said the pregnancy was a stupid mistake. why?

FellatioNelson · 26/01/2011 23:47

God these things depress me. Night all.

portaloo · 26/01/2011 23:47

sweetchecks Do you intend to remain living with your parents once you have had this baby?
What does yr b/f do for a living?
Does your family like your b/f? (They obviously know him far better than we do.)

It might be a good idea to listen to his x g/f, even if she appears to be telling lies. How has she caused problems between the two of you? Do you have much to do with her yourself?

Appletrees · 26/01/2011 23:48

Because earlier you said it was a stupid mistake. Now I don't understand why you are so supportive of "stupid mistakes" particularly when the result of a "stupid mistake" is a real live human being with needs for support and security which the mother is unable to meet.

It's a choice. Sweet chose to have a baby under these circumstances and now needs to make the best of them. I think she should stay with her parents as she seems rather immature, lacking in responsibility and a bit short on common sense and pragmatism. The children need to grow up right and for that, they need people around who can be responsible and mature.

Original poster
sweetchecks · 26/01/2011 23:49

Oh dear me.

Just for the record i didn't mean to course all this. I just needed abit of advise :/ i have choose the people i will listen to and the people i that i think shouldn't even post to be honest. But there you go. Everyone is entitled to there own opinion, and they habeas the rite to say it aswell.

OP posts:
ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo · 26/01/2011 23:49

because to remove the result of the stupid mistake would mean killing a baby IMO and it is not an option that i would find easy or indeed preferable to any of the other options available to OP.

portaloo · 26/01/2011 23:51

sweetchecks??

perfumedlife · 26/01/2011 23:53

Am so depressed i lost my essay Sad

Probably just as well.

Northernlurker · 26/01/2011 23:56

So the op is the only woman in the world to ever make a mistake is she?

Come on - suggest things that will help with the here and now, not lecture her on what she should have done or should do in the future - if for no other reason than that telling people they should use a condom really doesn't work.

missalien · 26/01/2011 23:57

You have stood your ground very well sweetcheeks. A lesser woman would have reacted differently. You do what is right for your family and the best advice I am give you is dont listen to anyones advice! Listen to your instincts , head down, work hard , and you will be fine. Im quite horrified some people can actually openly suggest terminations, im a bit disgusted with that . You do what is right for you and yours and if you need any support you can pm me. I spent twelve years as a single mum and not a day on benefits. Hold your head up high end dont listen to negativity .

Original poster
sweetchecks · 26/01/2011 23:59

portaloo no i am getting my own place with my child/children :).

My B/F works with ship's an that, i don't know exactly what he does and he does get enough income.

My family like my b/f as they also believe in second chances.

I don't have nothing to do with his ex, she just causes alot of arguments turns up at his when i am there, throws tantrums when she don't get what she wants. Just generally a heartless person.

But i don't know her peopley to judge her, for all i know she could us be a jealous ex but generally a really nice Person.

OP posts:
Appletrees · 26/01/2011 23:59

I think it's a good time to advise the OP on contraception. She's hardly going to come back and ask about it next time.

It's vitally important actually -- for the two children she already has. She didn't learn from her first mistake.

It's a choice that's been made by her -- a choice.

And I have made helpful suggestions. Telling people to use a condom does work for some. You never know. Despite the "what's the problem?" something might sink in.

Appletrees · 26/01/2011 23:59

oh gawd this strike thing is getting on my nerves

Appletrees · 27/01/2011 00:00

I don't think you are mature enough to live in your own place with your children. You need support from your parents.

Limara · 27/01/2011 00:01

Can't find the words tbh...Is the boyfriend going to be really pleased and over the moon? Biscuit