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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

I have just discovered that i am pregnant but, don't want to be with my partner no more!

303 replies

sweetchecks · 26/01/2011 18:15

Done a pregnancy test today ad it came back positive.

My boyfriend is wanker and i don't want to be with him no more :/

i don't know what to do shall i tell him am pregnant?

OP posts:
davidtennantsmistress · 26/01/2011 22:14

I think the key questions for the OP to ask herself are:-

a) do I want this man in my life literally for the rest of my life in some shape or form.
b) can I cope with another baby/want another baby.
c) how will I provide for the baby in the long term.
d) most importantly what is right for ME and my DD (who is 2)

if she chooses to carry on the PG then the dad imo should be told and should have to pay towards the baby, but that's the OP's choice, I don't think the ma given the info we've had is any sort of role model but you never know! if she chooses NOT to have the baby then again it's her choice, and one which she should talk to her family about as she will need their support - it's not a light decision to make, then I personally rightly or wrongly think the father shouldn't be told.

scottishmummy · 26/01/2011 22:15

stop bloody bellyaching.use you advantages to something other than whining on mn how hard done to you are

as you said good private education?well use it get bit leverage, get on a bit

Appletrees · 26/01/2011 22:16

cowbags Grin

well I never

ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo · 26/01/2011 22:17

posh i totally agree with you. i worry that OP will believe termination is her only option as a result of this thread. i dont think she will get the support she needs here.

i think OP was jumped on because of her age and her bad grammar.

scottishmummy · 26/01/2011 22:18

private school and that the best you can muster.

oh widdle stop,stalking me
oi Cow bags

dearie me

ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo · 26/01/2011 22:21

"It's really odd to encourage young single motherhood."

why?

as i said i had ds1 at 19 without a partner. i can guarantee you that i was a far better parent without my son's father being with me.

and now 5 years later with a second ds i am finding things far more difficult. i was a better parent at 19 than i am being now at 24. taht isn't to say i am being a bad parent now but i can see clear differences to how i am now to how i was at 19.

Appletrees · 26/01/2011 22:23

Because of the "outcomes", for want of a better word, for the children.

Your point of view is interesting though. There's plainly no acceptance of the idea that two parents in a stable relationship might be better.

scottishmummy · 26/01/2011 22:25

sweetchecks, get benefits check, tell gp & mw.will your family support you?any good pals. you will need to tell him (and benefits agy when baby arrive)

it will be hard but mw run special sessions for young mums
what about sure start

you need to maintain good health and reduce stress for you and baby.garner what support you can

ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo · 26/01/2011 22:32

"There's plainly no acceptance of the idea that two parents in a stable relationship might be better."

when you find yourself pregnant in a bad relationship it is too late to worry about finding a stable relationship.

in my situation, the stable relationship was not an option. i was already pregnant.

i am not suggesting taht single parenting is preferable to parenting in a stable relationship.

ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo · 26/01/2011 22:33

i am suggesting that single parenting was a preferable option to parenting in a bad relationship.

Appletrees · 26/01/2011 22:40

one doesn't "find oneself" pregnant

one chooses

true accidents are extremely rare

it really is a choice, and I'm suggesting it's better to choose two-parenthood

Original poster
sweetchecks · 26/01/2011 22:41

Wow so many disagreements, can see were people are coming from when they suggest termination, i don't believe in them though.

Like i said earlier i am in college, i can still finish my course pregnant or not.

My family don't know and neither does babys dad yet......... I am going to tell them as use are ryt he does deserve to know.

Yea i might be a 20 year old on my 2nd child what's the big problem there? To be honest you can have a go about spelling and grammar i don't care.

That last paragraph is for the People with a problem with my age and the way i write :)

thanks once again for the advice i got :) xx

OP posts:
ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo · 26/01/2011 22:43

"one doesn't "find oneself" pregnant

one chooses

true accidents are extremely rare

it really is a choice, and I'm suggesting it's better to choose two-parenthood"

i agree. i meant when i discovered my pregnancy. therefore i did indeed, find myself pregnant. HTH.

scottishmummy · 26/01/2011 22:43

maintain good health,dont get stressed out,finish college.

and maybe dont date anymore bad lads.if you have learned owt,it should be how to spot a wanker and avoid

ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo · 26/01/2011 22:44

"it really is a choice, and I'm suggesting it's better to choose two-parenthood"

quite insulting to those amongst us who have chosen to conceive or adopt as a single person.

ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo · 26/01/2011 22:45

"That last paragraph is for the People with a problem with my age and the way i write"

just incase that was because of my post. i want to clarify. i have no problem with your age or the way you post, i was suggesting that it was perhaps your age and spelling that caused otehr posters to believe it acceptable to be so harsh in tehir repsonse to you.

FellatioNelson · 26/01/2011 22:46

I'd suggest an abortion. But I suspect you won't have one.

ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo · 26/01/2011 22:46

as you can see, i am terrible at spelling myself. Smile

FellatioNelson · 26/01/2011 22:47

Oh, just noticed the post above. You don't believe in abortion. Funny that. Predictable too.

Appletrees · 26/01/2011 22:48

Sorry I don't mean to offend. It's a generalisation and not a necessary and sufficient condition, but you know. It's generally found to be the case.

"what's the big problem there"

sigh

FellatioNelson · 26/01/2011 22:49

You've already got a child? So you will have two children with separate absent fathers, and you are only 20? Way to go. Hmm

ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo · 26/01/2011 22:53

oh fellatio do belt up. we get it. she's a terrible person. how dare she hve sex with two different men before the age of 21.

FellatioNelson · 26/01/2011 22:54

I couldn't give stuff how many men she shags.

poshsinglemum · 26/01/2011 22:54

Scottish mummy; you have a big chip on your shoulder love. i've got every right to upset about the bullying I had at school. private or not private. I apprechiate my education greatly. I did not enjoy it.

I do not expect bullying, however when I come on an adult forum like mumsnet.You seem to have something against me and jump on everything I say to make some sly little dig.

Anyway op; how are you? your situation is not ideal at all and I would seriously suggest councelling. You need to sort out your issues with men. you don't have to stay with someone who is not good for you. Be single for a while.

ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo · 26/01/2011 22:55

then why is it an issue that her children have different fathers?

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