who pays on the first couple of dates?

[Anais53]

When you're on dates no. 1 and 2, do you expect the guy to offer to pay? Be it just a drink or a meal?

Had date no. 2 with someone nice last night, date no.1 we'd just been to the pub and shared the rounds, then last night out for a meal. When it came to pay, he said "I'll get this one and then you can pay for the next one". I was mighty unimpressed, didn't say anything just nodded.

I'm all for paying my way and am financially independent but call me old-fashioned, I think it's nice if a guy wants to impress you right at the beginning and doesn't expect you to go dutch. Don't much feel like seeing him again now.

I can cook. So one out of 3. I'll be single a long time then.

In my mind splitting the bill doesn't come down to working out every penny, it just means splitting it down the middle. Or picking the whole tab on alternate dates.

I can't abide people who start reckoning up how much a glass of wine is compared to a large coke and such. That is execptionally mean and applies equally to male or female friends.

If people take the piss by going cheap on their turn or ordering the most obviously expensive things on the menu, then they're obviously money obsessed and not for me.

I can understand the feeling of being cared for, but that also cuts both ways and doesn't cost much. I fell in love with my DH after about 6 dates, when he turned up with a bottle of sparkling water for my hangover. Cost about 45 pence but the thought and effort was priceless.

Hi,

I had a guy friend who I used to go for dinner with he always said - "I'll get this, and you can get get the next one"..He always said it, date after date - despite me trying to contribute. It was just his way of letting me know he was happy for equality but was happy to pay.

Maybe it's this situation - I wouldn't let this sitution end the relationship - unless you weren't keen on him for other reasons.

It does sound slightly precious to dump him for this sole reaso.

I do feel really sorry for blokes too - must be very hard to know what to do.

Andre - I think I would behave like your lady -she sounds sound!

I certainly do not feel like a prize to be won - yuck!

I also think it ust be hard for a lot of blokes when dating again after a while to pay for each first date - for 6 dates (not impossible) you might well be out £300 - at £50 a time for two. ALl very well if you are high paid but many lovely guys arent!

So I think women should pay their way and yes men can show how they care in little waays like Wubbly said!

I think it's rude to make an issue of it.

I would quite offended if a man said I'll get this and you get the next. Becasue it would make me feel as if he's paying begrudgingly and that he would actually rather I paid my share particularly as he wants me to pay the next time.

I have no objection ot paying whatsoever but I find it rude for the man to make an issue of it.

My rules are muhc simpler. I find that the best way to do it is that whoever asked for the date pays the bill. E.G. if he asked me for a drink, he pays, if I asked him ot the cinema, I pay the tickets. etc.