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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

I have just hit my DH

271 replies

OhHelpMePlease · 22/01/2011 17:41

So we were arguing about going to his parents house tomorrow and i just flipped and threw the candle stick at him. It hit his head and there was a little blood.

He didnt say anything and just went upstairs for 30mins. He has now walked out and is not anwering his phone.

Have i lost him? I havent got a clue on why i reacted that way.

Will he leave me?

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 22/01/2011 18:17

put it down to "hormones" ?

you do womanhood a dis-service there, do you realise that ?

swallowedAfly · 22/01/2011 18:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

TwistAndShout · 22/01/2011 18:18

Agree with Chipping.

I think some of the advice being given here is completely over the top and I would also think this if was the other way round.

ChickensFlyingUnderTheRadar · 22/01/2011 18:19

I have horrendous hormonal issues, and have often felt murderous (proper 'red mist decends' stuff). I still haven't thrown things at people. I might have wanted to, but I haven't done it.

vintageteacups · 22/01/2011 18:20

Look at what chipping has posted - loveit think that unless the OP hasn't mentioned any other times when she's done similar, then you are over dramatising the whole thing.

AnyFucker · 22/01/2011 18:20

I truly do not believe those of you saying your advice would be the same if this was a man posting

ohnoshedittant · 22/01/2011 18:20

I agree with chippingin totally...think everyone is getting a bit carried away...

IAmReallyFabNow · 22/01/2011 18:20

That text to me says he is going to leave you.

vintageteacups · 22/01/2011 18:21

Also loveit if you honestly don't realise what pnd can do to your head, then you really haven't got a clue!

ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo · 22/01/2011 18:21

i couldn't be with anyone who thought throwing something at me was an appropriate way to get my attention or have their turn to speak. not if it was my mum, my partner my chidl or a friend. i would tolerate it from none of them and if it happened i would be telling them to stay the hell away from me until tehy had sorted their anger issues. that is what people are telling OP.

BradTittAndFlange · 22/01/2011 18:21

The text sounds to me as if he is going to have his way with visiting his parents and some other things for a while, and that he is coming back at some point and is ok!

Saltatrix · 22/01/2011 18:22

Men have hormones which make them more prone to aggressiveness and violence should they be able to use that as an accuse vintage?

However this was a one off event I think you need to seriously apologise to your husband and make steps to ensure it remains a one off.

mamatomany · 22/01/2011 18:22

You were wrong you know you were wrong, DO NOT SIT ON HERE ALL NIGHT BEING TOLD WHAT A SHIT YOU.
Distract yourself, movie, call a friend and wait until DH comes back and talk to him.
Of course you need to sort yourself out but trust me you'll not feel better reading this all night.

vintageteacups · 22/01/2011 18:22

iam is that really helping the OP - for goodness sake, they are trying for a baby and you're now telling her DH's text is saying he's leaving her - for crying out loud!

AnyFucker · 22/01/2011 18:22

chickens, I took progeserone meds for a while

now that makes you "murderous" in the true sense of the word

it doesn't make you change your basic personality though, in the same way that being drunk doesn't

hormones are no excuse, like being pissed is no excuse, for assaulting someone

BradTittAndFlange · 22/01/2011 18:23

Why were you not wanting to go and visit his parents op?

blackcoffee · 22/01/2011 18:23

like I said, it isn't imo the reaction of a male abuser to show instant remorse and seek advice
op hope you and dh can work things out

ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo · 22/01/2011 18:23

vintage i am in the middle of a PND slump. yesterday was a complete non starter for me.

and you still haven't answered my question. are you saying none of what you did was your fault?

AnyFucker · 22/01/2011 18:23

progesterone

DingDongMerrilyAsCheese · 22/01/2011 18:23

Text didn't sound so bad to me, more like 'was the row really worth throwing something over'

Sorry I don't feel I can be much help, you feel crap and you won't feel better til you've got it sorted with him.

Lulumaam · 22/01/2011 18:23

I had dreadful PND. very very severe, nothing thrown , no violence.

if the OPs husband is willing to move forward and the OP seeks help immediately, then of course, they can move forward, but i think it would be very hard to forget about it and for the realtionship to get back on an even keel

FinneganBeginAgain · 22/01/2011 18:24

I don't thisnk his text sounds at all like he wants to leave! I think he will be back to talk. Get ready to do some mega apologising. I stand by what I said about Relate btw, they can really help a couple under stress.

PigTail · 22/01/2011 18:24

ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo Your child? Oh really? Thank god you don't have my DS for a son.

AnyFucker · 22/01/2011 18:25

Having said all this though, I still hope they can talk, OP can apologise properly, get help and that he doesn't leave her

a second incident should be the nail in the coffin though...but that may never happen

PigTail · 22/01/2011 18:26

And no, the text doesn't sound like he's going to leave you.

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