Dumpling no more - only the strong survive and we did No.1

[Teaandcakeplease]

At first I was afraid, I was petrified
Kept thinkin' I could never live without him by my side;
But then I spent so many nights
Thinkin' how you did me wrong
And I grew strong

This thread is for ex dumplings Any dumpling that feels like she has "mostly" moved past crisis into an "almost" sorted state can post and chat here as we continue our quest for serenity with a lot of laughs along the way and support.

I would say promising pink.
Lots of good feedback re product.
Going to do leaflets and website would be fab ,
Think I need to organise parties for this time next yr ,but things should pick up in the spring.
Thanks for asking x

Hello everyone.
Getting that sounds so lovely. Its so lovely having wee magical moments with your kids without a grumpy x barging in and being negative. We get to cherish these times.
Kate Sounds like you're having fun - enjoy yourself you so deserve it.
Patience & Googs I'm so glad to be meeting you yeeha!
Waves to mumfun sov tea and starting and all
My dilemma continues over my 8yr old. While I am for telling kids the truth I don't know it myself really. X cheated-might have ended it or not who knows? He says she's not in his life anymore so I struggle with saying he has a girlfriend. X will say whatever makes him look best. anyway will sleep on it. Won't say anything more yet as he has a slumber party to attend on Sat.
Is there a good website with advice anyone can suggest?
Night everyone.
xxx

A very juvenile thread that made me laugh until I cried. Especially later on when the ryhmes begun. But I needed the laugh.

Kate, am loving the smitten kitten. Enjoy

Pink, rentokill . Oh you've a wicked sense of humour

Patience, glad you're doing a bit better.

Goo, sorry to hear about your poor ds's. It's so hard going when they get sick, watching them like that & then trying to juggle everything ((Hugs)). Sorry also that it means you will miss out on date with CDman

Maybee, trust yourself to say the right thing. You're in the situation so you'll know best what will work. It is prob a bit more complicated to explain if girlfriend no longer on the scene.

Patience....I'm really pleased for you. It's challenging starting a business at the best of times, let alone what you're going through/been through etc. I don't know how you do it, what with small DC, moving home, heartbreak etc.

When you've got a website you can send press releases to features editors of magazines and they may do free articles of your product. It's a good way of getting free publicity.
Advertising is so expensive.

Try and organise the parties for Oct/Nov/Dec this year, ie christmas .

Actually Starting, I think rentokill would be very handy. Prog on the radio today about rats 'the size of small dogs' FFS and how they can eat through concrete.

Goo, so horrid for DS to have bad nose bleeds, poor him.

These sex and the city re runs are ace ,Carrie should have dumped big.thing is I went out with the young big,he got older angrier and more distant.It's great recovery info.I am seeing big in an entirely different light .I saw it as romance before but now I see it as dysfunctional co dependence .
Why would u want to be with someone that hurts and disrespects u ?
I don't want to be suffering from premature congratulations ,but I think I'm tasting a new freedom from the fuckwit.only time will tell.

If you're on Facebook to give yourself a laugh today do this:

Scroll to the bottom of your Facebook page where it says in little blue letters, "English", click on it. When the language box pops up, click on the blue down arrow next to "English (US) and select "English (Pirate)." When you've stopped laughing, paste it as your status. Yo Ho Ho!!

Getting, just wondering how your cousin got on??

Well it went to plan they had dinner followed by sex . In short he met expectations and she is really pleased and hoping to see him again , he seems keen too.

Heres an ugly thing to confess to . I truly am so pleased for her but when I came off the phone I burst into tears.

We speak to each other every day and have done more or less for the last 13 years. Our marriages ended within a couple of months of one another and so we have been on similar paths.

This whole thing came totally out of the blue she only joined the site a week ago. I am confused by the fact I am so jealous of her ability to have done this because I just couldnt. I know since a teen I can only have sex with someone I have known for a while and its half serious. I suppose I am just feeling the cliche self pity of will anyone ever want me or love me again, why didnt xh want me. Oh god I dont know I just feel miserable.

Hey getting I'm sorry you are feeling down chicken, don't worry about being upset - it's strange what sets us off.

Maybe you feel that you would like some of that intimacy that sex brings - but sex with a stranger is not a situation you would feel comfortable it is it?

I also thought that I would never have sex with a man that I had not known for years and trusted implicitly..but now it could be on the cards in the near future, I wonder if thats what I have got used to feeling (a bit like my 'type' of man being exactly that way my ex looks)

Now I am stepping out and looking objectively - I wonder how much of those feelings reflected the real me - or just what I felt at that time.

I have a really horrible scar (cancer) and I really need a bloke to want me whatever I look like...so I could never have sex with someone I thought was only after sex...if this makes any sense???

Feel blue for a bit getting then dry your eyes, have a cuppa and be done with it.

Wish I could be there to give you a big hug and tell you it's going to be alright...because it is.

What a lovely kind post Kate thankyou x

God knows whats going on in my muddled brain today but I do know that this too shall pass (waves to Patience)

Aww Getting

And good response from kate :)

Of course you feel why shouldnt I have that too.

And why shouldnt you?Im sure you will in time. But IMHO you are better to work with what you are comfortable with as it will give you greater happiness and contentment longer term.

And your brain isnt muddled -it is processing everything - and now doing it with a new situation with a person close to you.

(())

I would have felt very down too in your shoes Getting. Wise words from the others many ((hugs))

Getting I think its an important part of our recovery to accept we will all walk a different path to get to a place of self love and contentment.if I had been attracted to the guy in Sept perhaps I would have slept with him but I still would have been filled with bitterness and resentment for my X.I have to lose that before I can look elsewhere.I don't want to bitch about my X to a new man I want to have moved on totally.I read something today that made sense about my X ,he doesn't want to address his problems and get well so he is still looking for a partner that is sick.he resents me for getting well and not excusing his behaviour.that is just another reason I have to let go.he is blacker than black with many unresolved issues.I want to use my time on earth differently to him,when I start to project a more positive image I am much more likely to attract someone more balanced than my X.Whatever weaknesses u feel u would like to work on getting,whatever insecurities ,this is the time to work on them,u do it for urself. Then u have the foundations of inner peace ,positive inner voices and when u r looking for a new partner u will find him x

Getting, firstly really glad it all went well for your cousin. Moving on to you I think Patience hit the nail on the head when she said "we all walk a different path". Listening to your cousin prob made you think how much you're missing intimacy in your life atm which is prefectly normal. Saying all of that I'm a firm believer that we have to be true to ourselves i.e. if casual sex is not your thing then you will only get emotionally destroyed going this avenue. Stay true to yourself, be kind to yourself atm & this too shall pass. ((Hugs))

Thankyou for all your kind wise messages.

I know I need to stick with my oft stated intention of sorting myself out emotionally and practically before even considering a man in my life.

I cant explain why it was just a shock really and yes its true she and I may be very close but we are different people who will make different choices. I suppose her choice in this matter shook my faith in my own choice ie am I going to end up a lonely old woman - I exaggerate to make my point !

Anyway luckily I have 3 friends over for supper tonight so will be lots of laughs and I will try and put my sourpuss self behind me

Getting, glad your cousin is ok. But you know deep down that this man doesn't solve eveything. He is company and sex and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that if it's what she wants. And there's nothing wrong with you for not wanting it. Maybe she's moved on further than you but maybe you will be stronger in the end. Mabe my aunty has bollocks and is really my uncle . Who knows?

Sorry I haven't been on this thread much. Having some horrible problems with ds which I've posted on the other thread. He wants to stone OW to death and be home schooled. So I've been busy trying to explain that neither are viable options.

Lol elsie at UR auntie and uncle all other parents at football training not reading what I'm reading,
Just done my nails ,also only parent currently doing a manicure
(Think I might draw attention to myself if I start a pedicure)

Football training here too Patience but xp takes ds as he is also one of the team managers. I suppose he does have some uses especially in this perishing cold weather.

And I might have a go at my hooves in a minute but it's more of a scalpel job I'm afraid .

Evening Ladies!

Getting...I felt really sad when I read your post. Sometimes it really is a lonely situation to be in, especially when Ex-partners just sail off and carry on with their lives so damn easily. Chin up!

Well, I also had a date last night..a bloke from POF. I have had AWFUL luck with all of my dates so far, with the men turning out to not be anything like they claimed. Anyhoo, he was LOVELY. Really nice, really funny and just my type.

It was just so nice to chat to another adult and flirt a little! No snog though so I'll just have to live my snog-life vicariously through Kate at the moment!!

This thread moves so fast...but i have read all messages and will continue to lurk whilst I'm at work...

Oooo yay for the date and the guy actually being a good un'

Elsie I do my feet with pumice stone every night in the bath and use soap and glory heel genius overnight with sox on.my feet are fab these days but need to paint my nails .our footie is indoors so not that much of a struggle v cute little kids all running for the ball .

Hi all - looks like plenty happening on thread. Amazed by the dating going on, ah well, it may happen to me one day. A rare Friday night in tonight, feeling a bit in a musical mood so may post some tunes later if not whisked away by

Getting, wishing you a lovely evening with your mates.

Elsie, hope all ok with DS, will read on other thread.

Waves to all