The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Carry On Into 2011!

[Mouseface]

Hello and a Happy New Year!

I'm Mouse, one of the passengers on this wonderful journey to sobriety!

We are a real mixed bunch of people, all trying to control or give up the booze - ONE DAY AT A TIME.

Come meet the others.........

And here are the previous threads, the journeys so far

Zany sorry you're feeling a bit lonely.[sad. We're all here if you want to chat. Don't waste your energy thinking about the arse fairycake man. It's his loss.

Noteven if this is rock bottom there's only one way to go. A cliche but true - post lots

Thurso sorry you're feeling deflated and I hope your bath helps make you feel better.

I'm just relaxing after a hell of a day. I've felt really knackered this week. DC's awake lots in the night and time of month.

Hopefully tomorrow will be better

Sorry so late Mouse,

yep, feeling a bit down after thinking about what I had done today, all good, and then Dh being really not bothered until I said "are you going to talk to to me", and then he came up when I was in the bath, and I wanted to put "California girls" on my Ipod, and have a dance, to forget bloody week!!

I hope you are ok, everyone forgets how hard it is to be at home all the time, and not have anywhere to go out to, and moan about!!
I do remember how it was.

Having cups of "sleepy tea", and no school for Dc tomorrow, am determined to have a lie in :).

Ruby hope you have a peaceful night, with no sneaky children in your bed

noteven and zany - hang in there babes. God, life can be shit at times. Zany - a weekend on your own can be great.Can you meet a girlfriend, go shopping/swimming/walking/to the cinema? or just put on loud music and have a bloody good clear out?
Thurso one of my few pleasure in life used to be reading in the bath but now I can't see without my glasses on and they steam up in the bath!
Any tips?

hey Indie
Great to hear you sounding so much more positive and hope the changes work out and you start getting some sleep. Also good on you holding the fort while DP gets out on her own - i wish DH would do that for me once in a while.
But he is away this weekend so i have had lovely bath with Lush bathbomb and the house is quiet and football-free, so i can MN, and eat chocolate and listen to my iPod and read trashy novels,so all good here too! Am having wine too, but doing so deliberately and happily and still feel in control and relaxed about it.

cross post isindie - wow if that works you will have transformed my life
Don't have a kindle - am passionate about books and a Luddite when it comes to technology so refuse to have one of the confounded things on a point of principle!

isinde you are sounding so good tonight. I understand exactly what you mean about passing work to someone else, but I have found that these things have a wonderful way of working themselves out, and you just never know when she will pass something else back to you. Maybe you can use some of the time for planning or marketing or dreaming or reading and be prepared and motivated for the next stpe for your business.

Hey you lot

I AM PISSED

but for the very last time

went to meeting today and another light bulb moment

AA will only work, if you work at it, and obviously for that to happen I have to be sober - sooooooooooooooooooooooooo

I am trashing the booze tonight and that will be the END of my relationship with alcohol.

I've tried to explain to Dp and brother and understandably get the look that says " yeah right .............."

But you know what - I am ready and I will do this.

I went to my first AA meeting on 13th December.

So it's taken me six weeks to get to this point.

I don't give a flying fuck

Tomorrow I will not take a drink.

the day after - I don't know??

but from when i go to bed tonight, in about 5 minutes, until I wake up - i will not drink

and tomorrow I am at a meeting 11.00 till 12.30. and then I shall, if i feel the need, go to a meeting at 7,30pm

love you babes

sweet dreams

xxxxx

we are about the same age isindie and i feel the same way as you do about the tactile side of books. Do you do Bookcrossing at all?
I am very much enjoying my peaceful evening - it's what I need. To be myself and not to have to fulfill one of the many roles that are part of my life. part, not all!
I'm glad you are enjoying your evening too but am very glad my DCS are way past the baby stage - wasn't a stage that i enjoyed much. Come to think of it, still waiting for a stage to enjoy....
Hope DP has a lovely night out and appreciates your support.

Hey Silver, you daft bugger. Go to bed and hand over the keys to Gerald at once!!
Tomorrow is the beginning of the rest of your life - the Babes will be here all the way.

dementedma I agree with you about reading in the bath - one of life's great pleasures. And I too am a book ludite. There is something lovely about the smell of a book, the different print size, the feel of the paper, that gives each one its own character. And I like the sense of knowing how far through a book I am - by feel, not by reading the page numbers.

thurso I hope you have a lovely lie in tomorrow - we have still got plumbers coming in every day to work on our bathroom, so no such luck for me tomorrow. But I have bought bacon for breakfast - if I have to get up early on a Saturday I might as well make it worth while. It sounds as though your dh can be quite un-communicative. Mine too. He is very lovely, reliable, good sense of humour, and very much my soul mate, but sometimes getting him to talk is like getting blood out of a stone. I can ask him a deep and complicated question, he will listen, think, and then give me a 3 word answer. That's it. next topic. And I was looking for a 2 hour discussion. So frustrating! However I have a very good friend (male) who does give all the long discursive answers to questions - fabulous on that front, but I couldn't be in his close company for more than a day a month - too needy and intense.

silver sleep well. We understand. We love you xx

mouse, JWN, Zany, ruby I trust you are all having a good evening and sleeping well.

mouse I remember dd1 finding her voice: loidloidloidloidloidloidl and gdungdingdingdundgundgundguung. Take care you, and have some rest.

Off to bed. But will go set up a new thread before hand.

Silver - hugs and hangover cures sent your way.

Daft tart. Will 'sort you out' tomorrow when I've had some sleep.

Night lovelies. xxxxx

new thread here because I'm out in the morning

boing!!!! , thats me back from a very nice evening, a good laugh and a brisk walk home in the cold!, god, i have laughed till my ribs hurt!

silver, you soppy bugger!, like mouse says, 'we will sort you out in the morning'!

isindi, i had a little hold today of a week old baby!, oooooooh i love that smell, all soft and sweet and milky and powder! yum yum yum!, you are a super partner and i bet dp will have a lovley time!

thurso, enjoy that lie-in!, barricade the bedroom door, pretend you have left home, anything!, just dont let them in!

Hi everyone.
DD woke at 3:30 and though I eventually got her back to sleep I didn't. Lots of thinking and crying. I just can't stop with the being weepy. Have a massively intense weekend with family here and a big lunch both Saturday and Sunday and I'm really scared. Going to just have to do an hour at a time, I can't face the whole day. I'm terrified too about telling them but at the moment I am so emotional that I suspect it will just flow without having to really 'try'. I am going to get in the shower. Bath and hairwash for DD. Iron our nice clothes. Start on the housework. That's enough for now. And text my sponsor to ask when this rock bottom feeling stops because surely I must run out of tears soon. And maybe they are healing but can't I start feeling a bit healed rather than just mentally in agony?
Mouse I don't really know why SS - because I had a drink when I said I wouldn't, I guess. Feel a bit got at. I met a social worker at AA yesterday (she told me, I didn't ask) and she said she will help walk me through it if I need to. People kept saying to me yesterday that it's going to be ok. I haven't believed that anything will be ok for years. I don't know how to stop crying.

morning

so here is a good lesson for all of us. I fell over last night on to the sharp corner of a stool and have cracked a rib. In a lot of pain - NHS direct said i should go to A&E but i don't think there iis anything they can do other than give me strong painkillers to which I would no doubt get addicted.

so many bloody 'signs' from above that I have to get sober

so here is to day 1

pissed off cos can't get to a meeting - well might be able to get there but don#t think I could sit for 90 minutes.

take heed children - I have learnt my lesson

in bed waiting for dd to come and jump on my head - deep joy.

noteven I was once crying like you and someone wise asked me what I was sad about. I was in complete denial and said that I wasn't sad, I was just emotional and I didn't know why I was crying. Actually I had lots to be sad about - sad that I'd let myself down, sad about childhood rejections, sad about just wanting someone to love me and hold me. Eventually the tears will stop, and you will take a deep juddering breath, and find a little calm place. And from there you will start to build.

silver I'd suggest that if you CAN get to a meeting then go. Even if you can't sit there for the whole time, please think about going just for a while. The signs are that you have to get sober, and the best way to do that is with the right kind of help. I know that you found AA helpful before, they can help you now.

And give A&E a visit too. Poor love x

venus my dp is going to drive me to a meeting tonight, bless him.

I don't think hospital will say anything except it has to heal on it's own. so bed rest today and painkillers.

and a big fecing lesson learnt - I could have cracked my head open and have been lying dead on the floor for my dd to find me in the morning...........food for thought x