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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

he hasnt even replied to my happy chridtmas text.....

167 replies

icepick · 25/12/2010 09:07

Am seeing someone who I've know as friends before that. He has said he loves me, and I've said the same
We aren't spending Xmas together as he hasn't met any of my family, nor me his. I did ask if he was free before Xmas but he said he was busy and would see ne after it.
I've just text him about an hour ago to say happy Christmas and he has nor even replied. I know he is up and not doing anything as he's been logged into his pc since 630.

I shouldnt bother with him anymore should I.

Am not going to let it ruin my day. But its made me a little bit sad.

OP posts:
goingforit · 25/12/2010 09:17

Same here icepick, it sucks doesnt it

I think you stand more chance than I do being that you were friends before.

Mine has been on msn since early morning - I did text him to send him a christmas kiss and wish him all the best. I did get a 'Have a lovely day' but somehow I expected a bit more. I mean you'd say that to a stranger, wouldn't you

In two minds - chill out today, take your mind off him and enjoy your day. Don't be too keen to jump through hoops for him next time he surfaces, and if opportunity presents itself, sit down and talk.

Forget him today - enjoy yourself. x

Kristingle · 25/12/2010 09:20

Yes it is a bit sad

I don't think he's really into you Sad

Please make a Christmas resolution to find someone better Smile

BooBooGlass · 25/12/2010 09:24

Ladies, chill out and stop jumping to comclusions. My pc has been on since this morning, I've been trying to connect my bloody camera to it to no avail. As a single man, the chances are they've switched on the PC and gone back to bed til midday. To get so worked up about a text message does not bode well for a relationship and tbh there is more going on here than just thst isn't there?
fwiw, my (damn good) phone has been struggling to recieve texts today, the networks are probably very busy

icepick · 25/12/2010 09:45

No. He's up and about. I can see him active on MSN and he is posting on some forums...( feel like a stalker, but didn't want to text and wake him)

Going for it, least you got some kind of reply, shit as it was, yep. Totally what you would say to a stranger.

I just think, he's up. Not doing anything and can't be bothered to reply. So what he says about loving me and wanting to make me happy is crap.

Sod him, will not let it ruin my day at all.
Shall maybe be less available.

OP posts:
Heifer · 25/12/2010 09:59

maybe he hasn't switched his phone on yet, maybe its charging.

Don't think about it again. Just enjoy your day

onimolap · 25/12/2010 10:06
  1. stop stalking his computer!

  2. it is possible that a text at about 06.45 will seem a bit intense. Or that he was in the shower and didn't hear it come in.

  3. do whatever it takes to stay calm - he could easily be waiting until a more civilized hour before being in touch

  4. hold back from trying again until after the Queen's speech.

Rather than wait by the phone, what lovely things can you do today?

nannynick · 25/12/2010 10:08

Text messages are not a reliable method of communication, especially on days when the networks may be moving around a lot of messages. A couple of years ago I got invited to a NYE party via text message - the message send on 31 Dec, wasn't delivered until 2nd Jan!

If he is on MSN, why not message him via MSN?

Pantofino · 25/12/2010 10:09

Maybe he just hasn't seen his phone yet! It is the downside of modern communication that everyone expects an instance response to every message. My phone lives in my bag and I rarely look at it at the weekend. My cousin sent me a Happpy Xmas message earlier. I have been busy and haven't replied to her yet either. Stop reading so much into it and enjoy your day!

nannynick · 25/12/2010 10:13

Men are also terrible at responding to messages which don't explicitly request a reply. So sending a simple Merry Christmas wouldn't get a reply, where as asking a question would prompt a man to reply.

I say this being a bloke... I know what I am like when it comes to replying to text messages. If it's asking me a question I am far more likely to reply.

icepick · 25/12/2010 10:17

Lol. I didn't send it at6.45.
I've got plenty to do and should really get in the shower as I'm going out in an hour. I don't want to log onto MSN now. Else it would be a bit like ' happy Christmas, what you up to.... did you get my text, why didn't you reply... got to go, Going to be late' which is shit.
And if I logged on now, I wouldn't im him either, cause it would seem like is only done that to see why he hadn't replied. So if he didn't im me is be more pissed off.

I shan't contact him again till the 27 th maybe 28 th. We had no firm plans.

OP posts:
diddl · 25/12/2010 10:21

But if it´s someone you really like & they have sent you a text on Christmas Day, why wouldn´t you respond pretty quickly?

In fact, why wouldn´t you want to try to meet up?

Wouldn´t you want to see a special person on a special day?

If a new mans didn´t want to see me on CD (& it was possible to do so), I´d assume he wasn´t interested tbh.

BooBooGlass · 25/12/2010 10:27

diddl, I understand not wanting to see a new man on xmas day. Depends on how new the relationship is. I'm almost 3 months in with my man, he is lovely, everything's going wonderfully, but he respects that he is a very new man, and that christmas day is for the children and me to spend together. I'd be more than happy for him to come over when they're in bed tonight though, if he's not had a drink with his dinner. But tbh if it's this hard at the beginning, you are spying on him via the internet (I mean, really, wtf??) there is clearly no trust there so what's the point?

icepick · 25/12/2010 10:32

That is what I think too. But I don't have time too see him these next few days anyway. I'm not too Sussed about that.

Tbh we don't communicate via text all that much. It's normally on MSN. He's connected online about 20 hours or so a day. So when we normally talk that way. I've only had replies to texts when I've asked a question ( just checked) or when he's trying to get hold of me and I'm not online.
We don't speak on the phone as he is a little deaf.

I don't know......

OP posts:
onimolap · 25/12/2010 11:33

My bad on the timing! I read the minutes and seconds from your OP as hour and minutes. Sorry.

Agree with everything that people have posted about length of time it takes for texts to get thru (one to me last year took 4 hours).

diddl · 25/12/2010 12:00

"I'd be more than happy for him to come over when they're in bed tonight though"

Yes, that´s the sort of thing I was thinking about, not a whole day with each others parents.

But a meet up for an hour or two.

BaroqinAroundTheChristmasTree · 25/12/2010 12:07

crikey - my PC has been on since.......ermm yesterday sometime I think - forgot to switch it off last night - was on it for 5 minutes first thing when I made a coffee, and then off it for about 3hrs......but it was still switched on.

Actually - talking of phones - I'd better check mine Xmas Blush

twopeople · 25/12/2010 12:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

BaroqinAroundTheChristmasTree · 25/12/2010 12:24

similar to me twopeople. I have now found my phone - still on silent (oops - I switch it to silent when I'm in church.....and have been there a lot in the last week Xmas Grin) and there's a text sent to me last night Xmas Blush

I am however always online (though it doesn't always mean I'm at my computer Xmas Grin

goingforit · 25/12/2010 12:36

But surely.... he doesnt have to wait to reply to a text, does he.

If he thought anything of you, he'd send his own Christmas greeting. He's been on msn all morning, so what excuse is there not to send a message, even an offline one.

Sorry, but it speaks a lot about the relationship - He's not that into you.

Truckulent · 25/12/2010 12:40

He could be thinking:

' Happy Chridtmas, Happy Chridtmas, it sounds familiar but what does it mean?'

Sorry I'll get back to cooking dinner.

Gay40 · 25/12/2010 12:41

The day someone texted me with "Did you get my text" would the day I dumped them. That sort of frantic need for affirmation would be a red flag.

goingforit · 25/12/2010 12:43

I wouldnt deamean myself to ask did you get my text, but the fact that he hasnt sent his own is enough

Gay40 · 25/12/2010 12:49

He doesn't put the same emotional and communicative value on texts, that's all. Some people don't.
I don't think it's worth agonising over.

BoneyBackJefferson · 25/12/2010 15:37

Maybe he is playing games on his pc

nappyaddict · 25/12/2010 15:39

Gay40 That may be the case, but if so, he could have rung instead?

My DP didn't ring me until 2:15 to say Happy Christmas which I did think was a bit odd.