Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

he hasnt even replied to my happy chridtmas text.....

167 replies

icepick · 25/12/2010 09:07

Am seeing someone who I've know as friends before that. He has said he loves me, and I've said the same
We aren't spending Xmas together as he hasn't met any of my family, nor me his. I did ask if he was free before Xmas but he said he was busy and would see ne after it.
I've just text him about an hour ago to say happy Christmas and he has nor even replied. I know he is up and not doing anything as he's been logged into his pc since 630.

I shouldnt bother with him anymore should I.

Am not going to let it ruin my day. But its made me a little bit sad.

OP posts:
Original poster
icepick · 27/12/2010 08:52

still have not heard from him.

Just logged onto msn as i could see him on there. and his instantally changed to not showing as being there.

I doubt it is coincidence.

Oh well.

oh. hang on. he is just messanging me.

lets see what happens....

( will not mention text or anything)
( or stalking)

OP posts:
MassiveKnobOfBrandyButter · 27/12/2010 09:21

oh dear, well i think you know exactly where you stand.

Original poster
icepick · 27/12/2010 09:56

he said he hates chritmas. and doesnt really like his family.

So maybe its a hard time of year. But still.

OP posts:
SlartyBartFast · 27/12/2010 09:59

thats not a particularly nice attitude.
but hey

AstridsTardisDisaster · 27/12/2010 10:00

did he apologise? did he know you were upset?

changeforthebetter · 27/12/2010 10:04

Oh he sounds a barrel of laughs Confused

I think I would leave him be and get on with your MNing life. Plenty more fish and all that ... Xmas Smile

allgonebellyup · 27/12/2010 10:46

Euughh, this sounds just like the twat i was seeing. I would text him but he wouldnt reply, yet it would say that he was online.
Then he would reply eventually, but then i would have to wait 3 days til i heard from him again.
Got so sick and tired of hanging about waiting for him to make contact that i decided he cant really like me at all. Sad

i ended it with him for good last week as i felt i had no choice, and on the phone he just basically laughed at me and said he had already "made peace with it and moved on."
Havent heard from him since. Twat.

Its painful but i guess you know where you stand??

allgonebellyup · 27/12/2010 15:21

Any update??

Original poster
icepick · 27/12/2010 16:34

not really. we chatted for about 10 mins this morning. he was a bit not interested.

we are chatting on msn now.

about nothing important.

OP posts:
FaffTastic · 27/12/2010 16:43

Sounds very odd behaviour, esp from someone who claimed they love you and was a friend before you got together.

Sounds as if he has got very cold feet all of a sudden. As hard as it may be, I wouldn't bother contacting him again.

allgonebellyup · 27/12/2010 17:22

How much of a good friend was he before? Did he used to blow hot and cold then?

Original poster
icepick · 27/12/2010 19:48

yes. he is well known for being fickle.

I told him be was being fickle, and he said not at all, he was just busy. I could tell he was distracted.

When he is like that there is no point.
And i can say that as ive known him for a while. He is the most selfish man there is. He will admitt this.

In the meantime ive registered on match.com.

OP posts:
Original poster
icepick · 27/12/2010 19:49

which is almost a sure fire guarantee he will blow hot in about a week.

OP posts:
SlartyBartFast · 27/12/2010 19:57

good for you Smile

LittleMissHoHoHoFit · 27/12/2010 20:00

Bin him, why would you keep sniffing round him?

Don't give him the satisfaction of knowing you are hanging on for him.

If he hates christmas, why on earth would you want to be with someone so bloody miserable?

I have an miserable bugger for a P, and it's really, really dull. Oh and selfish is a part of this, too bloody selfish to let others have a good time. What a twat. Really.

He isn't that into you, he is distracted. If you were the centre of his world (as you deserve to be) he'd move heaven and earth to talk to you, see you and be with you.

I think you had a lucky escape tbh

Original poster
icepick · 27/12/2010 20:36

I know. When he's attentive hrs wonderful. When he's not its crap.

OP posts:
ebonyfish · 27/12/2010 21:11

move on icepick, he's going to prove very frustrating

MmeLindt · 27/12/2010 21:15

Why waste your time on someone who treats you like that?

Get rid.

It may hurt now, but the longer you keep the "relationship" going, the more he will hurt you.

Original poster
icepick · 27/12/2010 21:16

he is very frustrating.

He will be wonderful for a while and then i get all excited, because its going so well. He promises the world and its all so wonderful.

Then for no reason that i can find, or see, or understand he withdraws. Only to come back, full on a few weeks later.

He isnt seeing other people and i know hes done it before with other girlfriends. I think he is just that way.

But as wonderful as he is, and as much as i accept he is like that, and would never want to change someones behaviour, i want more than that.

OP posts:
christmaseve · 27/12/2010 21:26

Someone sent me a 'happy christmas' text and I didn't reply because I have zero interest in him and realised it was a sure fire way of letting him know.

Agree with others it's best for you to withdraw from the prospect of a real relationship with him. I don't think that it's a firm foundation to be communicating via the computer.

Original poster
icepick · 27/12/2010 21:36

its not, in his defense, he is hard of hearing.

He cant use a phone.

OP posts:
blinks · 27/12/2010 21:47

i couldn't be arsed with the hot/cold treatment... it's bollocks.

LittleMissHoHoHoFit · 27/12/2010 21:54

icepick, you are not going to get this attentive person back.

When that's gone it's usually gone.

Unless you call this a day now, you will waste years chasing that dragon, the one that makes him pay attention to you.

FWIW, you were friends before, for a while, and it's morphed into something more.

The oomph probably isn't there, if it were, you'd not have started as friends.

StuffingGoldBrass · 28/12/2010 00:51

Oh FFS dump and move on. THis man is Not INto You. And nothing is more damaging to your self esteem and general wellbeing than desperately pursuing someone who just isn't bothered.

KerryMumblesBahHumBug · 28/12/2010 01:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.