Help - dh has bought me a rabbit (not the furry kind)...

[Eowyn]

& the point is, I really don't know I want one & even if I ever drink enough not to feel totally embarrassed about using it, dd's room is close enough for me to hear her breathing, so I will be worrying about her hearing the whole time.

So, he is now in a strop & saying shall he take it back, & I don't know if I'm overeacting & should try to improve our very rare sex life, at the end of the day I'm just so self-conscious anyway I can't see this helping, unless I was very alone, & that doesn't exactly benefit him.

Any advice ??? & if I'd known how to change my name I would have, there you go, no secrets me.

Free mini dildo..whoo-hoo!

I love this thread

doormat, naturalinstinct.com is all about birdwatching and how to recognise different breeds of humming-birds. Don't see any free dildos, mini or otherwise. Disappointed now

Mind you, the bloke who runs it is called "Rod" (snigger).

Marthamoo was the first to try to and claim her free mini dildo!

Why would you want a mini dildo?

I am so sorry girls. The website is
www.naturalinstinct.co.uk

so sorry

Tinker - I'd want a mini dildo beacuse it's free. I'm a sucker for anything that's free!!!!

Oh dear........'sucker' is another word that should not be used on this thread

Can I have a maxi one??? (Mind you they make the things of latex (apparently) and am allergic so nevermind!!)

No, no, no - I meant to emphasis the 'mini' bit

I actually deleted the email so went through all I could think of the last half hour in the open box.
Sorry i cant do links.

Aw thanks Doormat

Tinker, I think I'd rather start small with a mini dildo. As a sex toy virgin I think I'd be a little intimidated by something called a RoboCock and the thought of an anal probe makes me shudder. Besides, like Northerner, I'm a sucker (oh dear) for anything free. Wonder just how mini a mini dildo is? No chance of losing it is there? "Er..doctor..I have this embarrassing problem....."

Its ok marmathoo, let me know what it is like please.
it might also be handbag size-take it everywhere

Wow..it's a whole 'nother world out there!

I've chickened out, doormat, you have to pay P&P

Had fun trawling the site though..someone please enlighten me: they sell something called an erotic mind. This is..quote.."an adjustable head harness attached to a giant suction pad..attaches you or your lover to whatever you want." Must be missing something cos can't see that having your head suckered to a wall is particularly erotic

ROFL marmathoo.
dont blame you for chickening out, I never had the balls (sorry for the pun) to do it

yikes, hope my dh doesn't read this, i don't want my head stuck to the wall much, bit inconvenient.
Stuart, I really didn't start this, my dh did, I wouldn't have had the nerve to buy myself something and would be quite happy without it, it may gather dust.
If i was alone (ah bliss) it might be different...
and in this case it is actions encouraged by dh rather than secretive so different to when you catch the bastards with their porn....

Have thought of a brilliant alternative use for the "erotic mind". When my kids are bugging me (like NOW...oh roll on bedtime!) I could sucker them to the ceiling. Going to order a couple

mathamoo

Went in Ann Summers with Spacemonkey on Friday. There was quite a selection to choose from, v confusing. Dh was most disappointed I didn't come back with one. I almost bought a t shirt which said "you have been a naughty boy, go to my room " though .

StuartC, I do not care in the slightest how many times dh masturbates, am I unusual in feeling like this?

Not at all lou

Lou, I've got that t shirt! But now feel I'm too old to wear it in public. The last time I did was a couple of years ago and I had various petrol station cashiers leer at me and say 'alright then love,' which didn't stop me spending most of the rest of the day in fear of some young cocky lad saying "in yer dreams sweetheart" before pointing me out to all his mates as saddo older woman with no idea of her true market value

I've been away for a few days and just got back this morning to find that this thread is still going, I've caught up with it now and it is the funniest thread I've read to date Lol.

I've always been slightly bemused at the thought of people walking past the house at night and hearing an odd buzzing noise, wonder what they'd think it was? Can you hear it outside? Even with the window open? The front of our house is only a few feet from a public footpath.

As for minding if dp masturbates, not at all, he has a couple of toys that are just for him... and if he decides to do it "manually" then that's fine too.

Masturbation in men has been linked to lowering the risk of prostate cancer, and it puts him in a good mood, everyones a winner then.

Jenie like you our bedroom window is about 10 ft away from public footpath. Apparently they can hear what goes on or so I have been told. I have been heard when in the throws of passion oh the shame of it.

I couldn't give a toss (pardon the pun) if DH masturbates or not. To be honest I wish he would do it more often, it'd get me off the hook ! But I am told that 'no-one does it like you do Darling'. Should I be changing my technique ?!!

BTW, this thread has prompted me to invest in another since 'The Toad in the Hole' died . Have decided to replace it's rather inadequate replacement. Ahhh, a whole to meaning to 'Retail Therapy'

Rofl@www! That's really why I ended up not getting it! Plus I was away from home and dh might have thought I was buying it just for young men to leer at me on my night out .

I asked dh last night the longest he has ever gone without masturbating, and he said 2 days!

Oh god what if all the neighbours moan to each other over their fences but none have the courage to say "your battery bills must be astranomical" which they are! Or "the walls aren't very thick you know and with the window open......" I'm going to have to start leaving the house in disguise, they must think I'm some kind of nymph.