Can anyone talk to me about sub/dom relationships?

[CuriousSub]

Right, well, I have been here a loooong time but have name changed for this.

I came to these boards when I found out about my stbxh's affair and the advice here was great and really helped. I went through hell for 3 years but I am now in the process of divorcing him.

So now I am testing the water and have frequented some dating sites and have been speaking to a gorgeous guy who is far too young for me and we got to talking about what we like. It turns out I love being dominated and he was looking for a sub.

Sooo, we have been texting, emailing and now speaking to each other and the whole idea is driving me mad with desire. I am actually short of breath when he suggests things.

This is something I hadn't even thought about before but I definitely want to see this through. He wants to meet and I would love to.

But I wanted to ask here is anyone has been/is a sub? What is expected of you? Where is the best place to look for advice/ideas?

Sorry, I know it isn't Friday yet - but nearly!!

CS well done for showing MN there is more to life after a split than sitting round being bitter! AF, CS is a mum first and for most, but her alernative life is another part of her makeup

read my posts batman, before you comment

I am making no judgements about her parenting nor her "alternative life"

you gutys with an agenda really do make yourself look like twats when you keep banging on about stuff that hasn't even been written

guys

hey i'm the typo error expert!!!!! AF

When I first discovered the fetish scene, I wanted to bang on about it to anyone who would listen. Anyone who discovers a new interest wants to talk about it (and don't foget that vanilla people very often bore all their friends to death when they meet a new partner).

Hey AF, you are right!! Advanced search Replete and remembered where I had heard the name before...some bonkers thread about racism!!!

AF has a good point about weirdos on the thread!

MC...you only just noticed ?

did you actually believe there were no weirdos on here before ?

at the beginning of the thread they were coming out of the woodwork like fucking cockroaches

and OP started getting "funny" unwanted contact offboard too, at one point

what a coincidence, eh

obviously, i'm not one of them

are you sure ?

sorry X posts!

Not a coincidence!! What do they do, advance search key 'naughty' words until something 'fun' comes up??

I dunno, MC

but there are certainly particular posters who pop up on all the sex threads and post on nothing else at all

you can advance search certain words, or alternatively, just watch the relationships board

there are plenty of vulnerable people on there to target

search on batman's posts...that is pretty enlightening

How naive am I!!!

(no, don't answer...I think I already know)

stick wih me, I have a fuckwit radar that is shithot

My bullshit radar usually suffices but clearly I need to upgrade me to one of those!!

you searched batman's posts ?

now there is an argument for chemical castration if ever I saw one

aarrggghhh!

My first jedi lesson!

Now...I'll be off for a quick hot shower...[shudders slightly with repulsion]

I'd agree with what SGB says about wanting to talk about the thrill of first discovering this lifestyle. I can understand why CS has come on and told us about her experience.

But.....

AF you are right that this is not the place to shout from the rooftops about it. Though to be honest even specialist websites will attract the sort of attention she has attracted on here. The difference being that the specialist websites often operate a network of support by which repeat offenders are weeded out and newcomers will be warned of what to look out for.

Well done by the way AF. You've made consistent and non-judgemental contribution to this thread. I gave up on it when it de-railed into a argument with a certain someone.

CS - continue to seek the support and advice of others in the scene. But i'd refrain from posting much more on this thread if i were you.

anna...did you post upthread ? (being a bit lazy here and not scrolling)

if I rememeber rightly, you were one of the voices of reason

I admit now my last long post to CS descended into a certain amount of condescension, but I do believe if she were so blabber-mouthed (without an intact fuckwit radar) on any of the proper sub/dom sites she would be pulled up sharply and ferociously

and the the fuckwits would have been hounded off long before

you see, this is a parenting site, not a sex site

we should remember that

the odd fanjo, vibe, BJ reference on a friday night lovely go for it

but specialist stuff ?...keep it where people can protect each other and weed out the nobs

anna, I feel a bit pathetically grateful to you

< blame the rose >

This is a point well made. i am too new to this site to realise how predatory some people are and it is a shame that is the case.

There needs to be a balance between CS being able to express her happiness at venturing into an exciting new phase of her life after her marriage breakup but also keeping it a relationships site, as you say.

of course, MC

I guess what made me feel a bit frustrated with CS is the update post she made which, by its use of language, and how she emphasised certain points, just seemed calculated to whip this thread back up into a frenzy again

when she had supposedly been rather dismayed about that exact same thing happening last time

sorry, CS, I hope you get what I am saying

just get on with your exciting new sex life...you don't have to prove anything any more

Cs was updating people on what was happening in her life. Which, seeing as so many people were interested enough to post on this thread, seems quite reasonable.

No frenzy atm from what i can see.

LM, I think there is no frenzy because people are not really that bothered any more and refuse to rise to the bait

of that I am glad

I am not going to c+p CS's update but for anyone interested, if you read it, you will see it is inflammatory, certainly in the context of what reactions she got on this thread previously.

and LM, if you look back at what drew me back in, it was to comment on the ravings of a pillock who was attacking a poster for whom I have a great deal of respect

not to discuss yet again CS's sex life

AF, I remember the post that got you worried about CS. This sounds unkind, but I think she is enjoying all the attention. I think you are right to leave her to her new hobby.