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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Can anyone talk to me about sub/dom relationships?

585 replies

CuriousSub · 10/12/2010 00:11

Right, well, I have been here a loooong time but have name changed for this.

I came to these boards when I found out about my stbxh's affair and the advice here was great and really helped. I went through hell for 3 years but I am now in the process of divorcing him.

So now I am testing the water and have frequented some dating sites and have been speaking to a gorgeous guy who is far too young for me and we got to talking about what we like. It turns out I love being dominated and he was looking for a sub.

Sooo, we have been texting, emailing and now speaking to each other and the whole idea is driving me mad with desire. I am actually short of breath when he suggests things.

This is something I hadn't even thought about before but I definitely want to see this through. He wants to meet and I would love to.

But I wanted to ask here is anyone has been/is a sub? What is expected of you? Where is the best place to look for advice/ideas?

Sorry, I know it isn't Friday yet - but nearly!!

OP posts:
Original poster
CuriousSub · 07/01/2011 16:26

You had better tell me what you wouldn't do then Tiggy Grin

Now, if SGB had said that, I know I could have done anything Wink

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 07/01/2011 17:02

nah, sgb only likes it missionary with the lights off

don't let her tell you anything different

all yap Wink

Lydwatt · 07/01/2011 17:08

i'm here too, checking in to wish you a good (or naughty, depending on what you get up to!) evening!!

Original poster
CuriousSub · 08/01/2011 01:33

Ok, back home now.

Well, that was slightly different. Man was lovely but I knew he was not overly experienced. He kept complimenting me so I will let him off!

The sex was mediocre but I did enjoy the bondage!! I know you will all freak but he took some arty photos and I cannot believe that it was me in the pics. who would have known that my arse wasn't as big as I thought it was! (No face in pics).

Anyway, home now with a g&t.

Thanks all for the concern shown. you are all lovely people x

OP posts:
SurreyAmazon · 08/01/2011 04:09

Curious Sub, I am bitterly disappointed after reading your post. Not only is it devoid of anything to suggest you were physically harmed, forced to perform sexual acts against or your will or anything else to suggest that this experience has put you off the BDSM scene. You were destined to be the new poster child for a mundane and boring sex life, but you have completely blown it. Blown it, I say!!

Sipping on G&? gah! I'd hate to have your nerve in a tooth!

Making a joke about your bum? what cheek!

* flounces off in a huff *

BelfastBloke · 08/01/2011 05:29

Complimenting you? What a twat!

AnyFucker · 08/01/2011 13:09

the sex was mediocre ?

I am gutted, I tell ya

All he wanted was the pics, right ? Did he tell you what he was going to do with them ?

the whole thing sounds a bit meh tbh. Was it worth the babysitter ?

I suppose you are on a learning curve though, and no harm done (this time)

AnyFucker · 08/01/2011 13:21

I am glad you are ok...are you seeing him again ?

perhaps the sex will improve ?

Original poster
CuriousSub · 08/01/2011 14:14

Yeh, I knew about taking pics and agreed before. They are good actually. I can use them on my profile (not mn profile!!).

Tbh it wasn't bad but after all the hype I was probably expecting the earth to move. I also think he was slightly nervous too. I was amazingly calm and confident. Hmm, maybe I should be the domme!

OP posts:
Original poster
CuriousSub · 08/01/2011 14:17

Yes, we will do it again. Maybe a good place to start, with a slightly nervous dom, then I can build up to a more serious one.

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 08/01/2011 18:50

yes, he sounds like someone you can relax and experiment with

just stick wih him for a while

don't put your face on any pics though, love

Lydwatt · 08/01/2011 18:59

Yes, I was thinking that about the pics.....

Sound to me like he's worth sticking with for a bit...the games could improve as you get to know each other!

AnyFucker · 08/01/2011 19:12

you still 'ere too, lyd ? Smile

Original poster
CuriousSub · 08/01/2011 19:18

No worries! I said I didn't want my face in the pics and he was ok.

He has emailed some through now. I want to show everyone but I know I can't.

OP posts:
Lydwatt · 08/01/2011 19:56

wouldn't miss a moment, AF [winks]

Glad about the piccies Curious; are you seeing him again?

Original poster
CuriousSub · 08/01/2011 19:58

Yes, not sure when. Maybe next weekend.

Anyone want to babysit?

OP posts:
Lydwatt · 08/01/2011 20:00

no, that would really be admitting your life is more fun than mine!

Original poster
CuriousSub · 08/01/2011 21:18

Ah dont worry, we shall probably just compare knitting patterns the next time that we meet Wink

OP posts:
Lydwatt · 08/01/2011 21:22

you'll knit one and he'll pearl one eh?

AnyFucker · 08/01/2011 21:24

pmsl ! Grin

Original poster
CuriousSub · 08/01/2011 21:27

Grin You should do stand-up Lyd

OP posts:
Lydwatt · 08/01/2011 21:31

I teach teenagers...which is pretty much the same thing..Smile

Original poster
CuriousSub · 08/01/2011 21:37

Ah, makes sense now Smile

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 08/01/2011 21:51

I "sort of" teach teenagers too

and children of all ages

does that explain anything ? Grin

Lydwatt · 08/01/2011 21:57

hey! you just made 500 AF!!