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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Husband on online dating chat sites

613 replies

WherecanIhide · 09/12/2010 10:27

Hello,

My husband has always been a bit of a night owl (been together 21 years and have 2 DC) Recently I got a strange feeling something was going on. This morning I went on his laptop and looked at 'history' and it is full of 'No strings dating' and he has been talking to 'Becky, 22 Linc' etc. I don't think he has actually done anything cos he rarely goes out in the evening, but he has plenty of opportunity during the day to leave work for an hour or 2. I'm still in shock. I've emailed him letting him know he's been rumbled and waiting for his reply. How would you handle this? Please tell me what you would do if you were me.

TIA xx

OP posts:
registrationdetails · 10/12/2010 12:33

Will you let us know how you get on? I feel for you.

BellaGallica · 10/12/2010 13:12

Similar experience here; and still in early stages. DH was willing to recognise he had a real problem with compulsive behaviour and had a session with a counsellor who specialises in internet sex issues. As a result, he took himself off to SAA (Sex Addicts Anonymous) and has been doing a couple of meetings a week plus another session with a general counsellor. He's finding it quite helpful and the groups are very supportive. It's early days but seeing evidence of his commitment to confront these issues helps me feel a bit better.

Good luck

lateshift · 10/12/2010 13:13

Looking at your post WherecanIhide - it is all about him. Which kind of happens when depression is present I know, but even so - did he say anything to acknowledge how hurtful it was for you, and if he is ashamed or remorseful?

MooMooFarm · 10/12/2010 14:14

wherecanihide - have just been catching up on the posts today. From what you say it seems he's not actually been meeting anyone, just using the internet as a diversion from his depression - so IMHO there is some hope here Smile.

And whilst I would agree with lateshift that 'it's all about him', that is very sadly the case with depression. It is often the 'self absorbed' aspect of depression that causes relationships to fail. So although obviously he has hurt you and needs to acknowledge that at some point, maybe that won't happen until he is in the counselling process, because realising what you have done and the full implications of it, is part of what counselling is all about. He may just be too self absorbed and depressed to even think outside himself at the moment.

If he's not actually being abusive to you and you still love him and want the relationship to work, I think you need to give his selfishness the benefit of the doubt (for now). Try to see it as a symptom of his illness (depression) and at least give it enough time for the counselling to have an effect on him. Then see how remorseful and sorry he is? I would say it's a big positive that he's taking steps to arrange counselling, anyway.

Thinking of you x

MooMooFarm · 10/12/2010 14:17

And sorry, forgot to say, but a very important point - remember to look after yourself in all this. Will you be going to the counselling with him? Or could you see your doctor about talking to someone yourself?

You sound really isolated Sad when you clearly need people around you to support you. Is there any way you could connect up with more people, through local women's groups, or through the school (if your children are school age)? x

WherecanIhide · 10/12/2010 14:45

Thankyou soooo much for your support. As you can imagine it is really appreciated.

I am very isolated. My dd was in hospital for months because she was seriously mentally ill. Had literally no support. the hospital offered nothing and I was in too much of a state to be assertive and ask. A couple of people who I thought were friends enjoyed all the details of illness but didn't stick around to offer support/vanished.

I know I need to be more proactive - just don't know where to beging. Our other dc is at secondary school.

I have just had a bit of fun by snooping on husbands computer; I've found website and joined - just to send him a message. A bit risky (maybe I'm losing it!)but commented on his profile with family details. Hopefully he'll get a shock if he goes back on it.

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MooMooFarm · 10/12/2010 16:40

I know it's much harder to make friends when your children are older, with no standing around with the mums in the playground, etc.

Have you looked on here to see if theres a local mumsnet group where you live (MN Local - to the right of the page on here)? I know it feels like a big step, but it only takes getting friendly with one new person, then you get to know other people through them.

Will you tell DH it was you on the computer? TBH I would leave well alone IIWY, but I suppose it will give you a bit of an idea of what he's doing on there.

WherecanIhide · 10/12/2010 17:03

Moo, i will have a look at mn meet ups - I assumed it was for those with young children to meet up (a bit like a toddler group).

Thanks for your messages (you and everyone else)x

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mathanxiety · 10/12/2010 17:57

WherecanIhide, essentially inthat conversation you had he told you that what you found and how you felt about it was not of any consequence, and managed to shift the focus onto him and some problem he feels he may have, with the implication being that it is him, how he feels, what he is going to do about all of this, that matters and you can wait around until he makes up his mind to stay or go.

One of the big issues here is that he feels you and your feelings don't count, therefore. It's all about him. Yes, that can signify depression, but it can also be a habit.

I would give him a week to find somewhere else to stay, be it a hotel or whatever, with a view to finding somewhere permanent -- this might have the effect of making him focus on the fact that you are a living breathing human being and not some wifey-shaped figure who has clearly become just part of the wallpaper in his life. You need to make your presence felt here. Force the issue.

Please get a hold of his laptop and phone too -- after all, if you hadn't found what you found, when would the possible question of depression and the midlife blahs have come up? How much longer would you have been living with a man with impotence and all that that entails? Apparently, until you found what you found, he was bumbling along fine, not wildly happy maybe, but not willing to face himself (and the impact on you remains unfaced). Only now when you have told him what you know, has he come out with some explanation (again no reference to your hurt). Keep probing.

WherecanIhide · 10/12/2010 18:57

Good points mathanxiety.

He went to the doctors about impotence - and I thought we were getting everything sorted.

Part of me fels like telling him to bugger off. I told him it wasn't fair to keep me hanging on waiting for him to decide what he wants to do. He acknowleges this but says he is too stressed to think straight etc etc.

I can't tell him to move out right before christmas - not with 2 dc to think off.

Oh I don't know...it's doing my head in...

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londonmackem · 10/12/2010 19:42

Very difficult but my advice would counselling then either happy families or ex. What i find very difficult to swallow (on your behalf) is that he has been looking and seeking.

WherecanIhide · 10/12/2010 19:46

londonmackem - I like your '...counselling then either happy families or ex'. just about sums it up!

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googoomama · 10/12/2010 19:51

please don't feel alone. You will alwaya have someone to talk to on here. I'm so sorry you are going through this situation. Keep posting. Much love x

WherecanIhide · 10/12/2010 20:05

Thankyou googoomama - I honestly don't know whhat I'd have done without mn - Samaritans probably!

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mathanxiety · 10/12/2010 20:10

I suppose ... Christmas isn't the best time to move out. But he sounds like someone with a bit of an attitude tbh. It is absolutely not fair for him to keep you dangling, waiting for him to decide whether your marriage is on or off. Good for you for telling him that. Could you give him a post Christmas deadline to find a place for himself, even a hotel room?

I don't like the looking/seeking either as LondonMaskem says, and I think you need to investigate the whole picture here. Otherwise counselling is going to be a waste of time. If he's not willing to hand over the laptop and phone, or if you find everything has been erased (i.e. no history in evidence) that would be a bad sign. Not saying this is the case here, but for your own decision-making process here (and you have decisions to make even though he seems not to acknowledge this aspect of things), you need to know the truth or it will eat away at you and even if you patch things up and he gets treatment for whatever it is that may ail him, you will be miserable with the questions always there.

If the impotence has been a problem for a long time, has he not been unhappy about it too? Who decided it was time to see the doctor for that, you or him?

googoomama · 10/12/2010 20:23

I don't know if this is any help but I'm on a very supportive thread with lots of lovely girls who are supporting each other. Have a look at this thread if you just want to talk x

WherecanIhide · 10/12/2010 20:30

Thankyou goo (I think)but he hasn't dumped me YET! Too depressing to think about it...fills me with dread tbh.

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googoomama · 10/12/2010 21:23

I know - sorry I didn't mean to say that he had dumped you because I know he hasn't and it's just an awful situation at the moment. Tr girls on the thread I linked to are all in different situations and I've just found that it's a great source of non judgemental support if you just want to talk about your situation - the girls on there are all very kind and give great gentle advice x
I really feel for you and hope that you can sort out this problem. I think that it's come at a terrible time (ie around Christmas) and all I would say is follow your own instincts and have boundaries that are acceptable for you. And I hope that you can both work through this horrible patch. Keep posting - MN has certainly kept me sane and there is always someone listening on here. Be strong and know that people are thinking of you. I certainly am (and I completely understand the "feeling of dread" that you mention) x

WhenwillIfeelnormal · 11/12/2010 00:16

OP, like Math, I don't like the sound of this and I am also wondering about the "games" that you both play in your relationship. I don't mean this in a flippant sense, but all relationships have scripts and everyone plays roles.

He has betrayed your trust and his response has been not to apologise and atone, but to threaten you with desertion. When he saw the fear that generated in you, his response was to focus the blame outwards and assign responsibility for this happening to uncontrollable issues like depression, mid-life yearnings and also to your behaviour and perceived shortcomings. There is absolutely no sense of him owning his actions and taking responsibility for them.

Amongst your wholly understandable feelings of shock, fear and loss, there is the somewhat bizarre decision to communicate with him online via his profile. I noticed too that you E mailed him on discovery, which is the very worst means of communication that exists for a situation that required face-to-face communication.

Do you always communicate with one another like this? Is your relationship characterised by indirect communication?

How do these awful events mirror what normally happens in your relationship? If he has ever been in the wrong about something, does he normally deflect blame in any directon but inwards? And in response, do you normally react passively and indirectly, instead of airing the issues and confronting things head on?

WherecanIhide · 11/12/2010 12:07

Just trying to get my head around what you have written whenwillifeelnormal.

I think I emailed himcos I couldn't wait until he got home - not a good enough reason.

We haven't been open enough with each other generally. Lack of communication is probably at the heart of our peoblems.

To be fair he did accept hr shouldn't have gone on the website - he said he was using it as a distraction.

It's all about him - midlife crisis. Doesn't know what he wants in life/doesn't want to get old etc etc

Yesterday he gave me an assurance he definately wouldn't leave for 6 weeks. When I moaned at that he said 6 months. I feel have a reprieve.

OP posts:
dignified · 11/12/2010 16:02

How awful of him , but youve got a say in this as well you know , he doesnt get to call all the shots.

Hes 50 years old and wants to go out getting drunk and has been flirting with women on line. Hes probably imagining himself living the single life fighting off women everywhere he goes .

Do remind him hes old enough to be Beckys dad and that as a woman in her 30s youd have no trouble having some fun yourself . Im not sure these women would be chasing a 50 year old impotent man back to his shit one bedroom flat once hes destitute after paying for a divorce and maintenace ect.

The reality is he,ll probably be sat eating cold beans out of a tin in his underpants. Get a bit of fight about you and spell this out , whats good for the goose and all .

Hes not doing you a favour by agreeing to stay for 6 months ,hes being a cheeky get, tell him to go if he wants because youll not be sat crying about him , youll be enjoying a good time with a man your own age who can give you what you want.

Might sound harsh , but id snap him out of this gods gift idea , and quickly.

Gay40 · 11/12/2010 16:11

I don't agree that people go on dating sites for a laugh and a giggle. There's plenty of chat sites where people can just genuinely have a conversation about stuff.
People are going on dating sites to seek opportunities - whether that be finding a new partner, emotional affairs, exciting flirting, sexting or a fuck outside their marriage.
It's not to make friends, that's for sure.

blinks · 11/12/2010 16:45

well i think the threat to leave is a very manipulative way to stop you being angry at joining the dating website... clever, and it seems to be working.

i suggest you ignore his feelings entirely and focus on yourself. be selfish. join some websites yourself (not dating- that would be a bit tit for tat), do some distance learning if you can't leave your daughter alone, speak to your GP about counselling, go get your haircut, but some new clothes, join an online bookclub etc etc

in other words, don't make him your life.

blinks · 11/12/2010 16:49

but = buy

WherecanIhide · 11/12/2010 18:39

My WH has taken our son to the cinema so time for a snoop. Found more stuff - he's been aranging to meet a 22 year old.

The worst thing is he's involved our mentally ill/recovering daughter - she knows everything. The wife is always the last to know.

He's been financially supporting a young woman - having an affair. He told her he is seperated etc. Our ill daughter knows all about it and he swore her to secrecy. He even took our dd to look at a flat today! He wants our daughter and son to meet her and go to a soft play place with her 2 year old son! I'm not making it up. My poor daughter was brave and told me everything dispite him emotionaly blackmailing her. I can't balieve it. I can't believe how strong I'm feeling so strong about this. He's just arrived home

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