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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

It's all about......ME! :)

661 replies

BibiBlocksberg · 06/12/2010 07:25

Hello to all and a Medal for those of you that stayed over all 16 pages of the 'It's all about him' thread.

Since it has gotten so big and since I will most likely going to be droning on about this for a little while I thought it would be easier to just start a new thread.

Must say I prefer the new title Xmas Grin

For those that didn't read the mammoth previous thread, in a nutshell it's about me dithering to leave partner of 8 years. No sex life for a year, he's very self centred and unmotivated etc, no future to speak of, fed up.

Finally told him I want to split up last night so am now using MN as my lifeline to ensure I really do get out of this excuse for a relationship.

Thank you all again for letting me do this and your support :)

OP posts:
ElephantsAndMiasmas · 15/02/2011 09:13

Wach out he probably thinks this is the World of Warcraft and will be trying to launch a dragon or something at you next...

BibiBlocksberg · 15/02/2011 09:25

Fnar, he actually has a bit of a penchant for that type of game Elephants.

Although a dragon would be easier to deal with - at least once you've slain one of those it tends to stay slain and doesn't rear it's big ugly head two months down the line whining about how unfair it was that you killed it Grin

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LittleHouseByTheRiver · 15/02/2011 09:57

I still feel a little frisson of anxiety every time DH gets me on my own even after six months apart. He sends me emails offering to take me back Confused. It is like groundhog day explaining that I don't want to live with him any more.

But good news is that this week he admitted he has started seeing someone else. It is a huge relief and feels like a big step forward to freedom.

Maybe that is what will set you free, when the Capn finds someone else to feel sorry for him.

BibiBlocksberg · 15/02/2011 10:41

"It is like groundhog day explaining that I don't want to live with him any more."

I just find this totally bizarre behaviour!!

The longer I am apart from him the more I'm enjoying living on my own and not being subjected to the special brand of whining he has.

Glad to hear your Groundhog has found someone else!!

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bloomingnora · 22/02/2011 08:55

Hi Bibi, just a quick check to see how you are doing. Hope the new life is still fabulous, darling! Come and tell us some of the nice things you have been doing Grin

BibiBlocksberg · 22/02/2011 09:04

Hello bloomingnora

I was just having a quick peek before I start work and my thread popped up :)

Can't say that I've done an awful lot of fabulous things but just 'being' seems to be excitement personified for me at the moment.

Now that I've left the 'did I do the right thing/crying over spilled milk' phase I just feel happier and happier every day.

It's really quite a strange feeling - am literally constantly laughing at something and just feel so calm and happy.

I had no idea just how unhappy I was for so long Shock

Anyway, enough about me for a minute - hope you're well too bloomingnora and everyone else who knows my story Grin

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bloomingnora · 22/02/2011 09:09

I am doing very well indeed Grin see Paul Mckenna thread!

I am soooo pleased you are happy. Anytime you get yourself to Bristol for a tour of all things Brunel, look me up - I love a bit of IKB. I'll buy you cake and everything Grin

BibiBlocksberg · 22/02/2011 09:18

Mmmh Cake - big slice of carrot cake with a cup of coffee.

I might take you up on that nora, am always looking for day trip destinations for weekends etc.

It's sooooo nice to be able to just make a decision ANY old decision in my life now. If I want to go to Bristol no one is going to whine and moan and stall.

So many simple things are so joyful right now it's almost pathetic. Deciding what to have for Dinner, listening to the radio and reading - all evening if that's what I want.

Putting together my film list on LoveFilm and knowing I can watch them in peace without any crying and fussing about them being boring or complaining that he doesn't get to hog the TV all night.

Soooo many simple things are just so stressfree now it's unbelievable.

Think his last phonecall helped enormously for me to realise that I wouldn't want him back if someone paid me.

Off to check out your Paul McKenna thread now :)

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LittleHouseByTheRiver · 22/02/2011 11:58

nora can I come? can I come? Smile I am a huge IKB fan and can bore you on the atmospheric railway at Starcross and the branch line from Sr Erth to St Ives any time. Also keen on Telford and Stevenson...

Bibi it is fantastic to hear you feeling so upbeat. I am feeling perky too as I have been flirting with someone online this week Wink
Very good looking bloke and five years younger than me so would def put a spring in my step to pull him!

I will pass on cake as I am trying to get rid of the misery blubber that I gained over the winter.

bloomingnora · 22/02/2011 16:05

What's not to love about IKB?

FourFortyFour · 11/03/2011 21:01

Just checking in to see how you are Bibi.

FourFortyFour · 19/03/2011 17:57

Where are yooooooouuuuuuuuuuuu Bibi? I hope you are okay.

BibiBlocksberg · 19/03/2011 18:55

Oops, sorry I missed the re-appearance of my thread on Friday. Keep meaning to update and then think oh nothings happened it'd be too boring for people to read.

I'm very well though thanks for asking FourFortyFor :)

The longer I'm single the better I like it, still discovering what it is that I like or re- discovering is probably a better word.

I'm starting to finally like myself - never thought that would happen after so long hating and disregarding myself.

I shudder to think that without MN and the wonderful advice I received i would still be servicing a selfish twunt and be unhappy.

At the time i have to confess that I had many wobbles and remember thinking 'great, you've ended a perfectly good relationship because you listened to the opinions of strangers on the internet'

However, I can say wholeheartedly that I made exactly the right decision for me and am thankful every day that I'm not wasting any more of my time, kindness, generosity etc on a man who just didn't deserve it and more than likely never did.

MN continues to help me - you wouldn't believe the amount of threads I still read and go 'OMG, I had no idea I didn't have to tolerate that'

Amazing, it really is! On a more practical note, I haven't heard from the captain since valentines day, I still have his car though am saving for my own asap.

I just figure that all the years he just sat still and did and said nothing it won't do any harm for me to play the same game now for a few months until I don't have to be out of pocket.

Sorry, rambling now (nothing new there then :)) hope you are well ForFourty and everyone else who knows me on here Grin

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FourFortyFour · 19/03/2011 19:03

SmileSmileSmile.

Great to hear from you. Hope you didn't think I was stalking you!!

BibiBlocksberg · 19/03/2011 19:23

Grin oh no, not at all! I'm a bit shy about 'sharing' anything with anyone so always welcome the nudge of someone saying 'well, how are you?'

Off for yet another catfood run (the glamour never stops here :) )

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FourFortyFour · 20/03/2011 12:09

My cat is poorly so on expensive food from the vet now.

PeterAndreForPM · 20/03/2011 12:20

< waves to bibi >

LittleHouseByTheRiver · 20/03/2011 12:23

Glad things are going well Bibi.

I agree about MN being an education. We don't realise how much we are brainwashed into thinking is normal till it is challenged by objective outsiders.

I am really enjoying my new house, seeing all the spring flowers bursting out and getting things just how I want them.
Did you ever go back and register for the social group? (If not why not?)

BibiBlocksberg · 20/03/2011 12:39

Ooh hello Peter and littlehouse :)

Lovely to hear from you and really glad to hear spring has sprung 'on the prairie' Grin

I'm just not fussed about joining up with bunches of strangers atm.

Sure all that will come when I'm finally fed up with my own company :)

After all, it occured to me the other day that if I want to share my life with someone again (way down the road I mean) I need to actually have a life worth sharing.

Rather than just slotting quietly into the other persons routine and be swallowed up and erased again I mean.

Mmhhh, tis a bit deep for a Sunday that train of thought :)

Am trying to decide whether to wrestle the old crap sitting in the garden into the car and take it to the dump or to put a Sunday film on.

No contest really is there.......

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BibiBlocksberg · 20/03/2011 12:47

Sorry, meant to say that I'm sure lovely cat is worth every morsel and penny of her exclusive diet FourFortyFour. :)

Says the woman who eats super noodles so her furry friends can dine on prawns during the last few days before payday.

Grin
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LittleHouseByTheRiver · 20/03/2011 12:48

Yeah get out there and sort out the crap while the sun is shining! You can watch the film when it is dark...

I have accidentally met a really amazing dynamic sexy man online. Blush

We can't meet up till June so I am enjoying an old fashioned courtship with no confusing physical stuff which is just what I needed. Lots of flirting and deep conversations. Even if we never meet it will have been a great ego boost!

FourFortyFour · 20/03/2011 13:01

Another crazy cat woman Grin.

BibiBlocksberg · 20/03/2011 13:03

yes ma'am Grin

Just not looking forward to having an old rusty ironing board as a passenger that's all :)

I'm amazed you've found a new 'beau' and on t'internet :)

My friend at work keeps threatening to sign me up to 'my single friend.com'

Not if he values his 'boy' bits he won't lol. Have told him that i'd sooner stay single forever and expire smelling of cats pee and surrounded by unpaid bills Grin

First time in my life I've ever felt like that so bit of a novelty to be happy with just me.

Anyway, better go and get the ironing board strapped in :)

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BibiBlocksberg · 20/03/2011 13:06

Yup, and quite unashamedly proud of it FourForty :)

Woke up this am with one cat on the spare pillow and one on my legs both purring their little heads off just because I was finally awake.

Beats a dribbling, sweating, snoaring man by miles Grin

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FourFortyFour · 29/03/2011 12:15

Just saying hello and hoping you are okay.

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