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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

It's all about......ME! :)

661 replies

BibiBlocksberg · 06/12/2010 07:25

Hello to all and a Medal for those of you that stayed over all 16 pages of the 'It's all about him' thread.

Since it has gotten so big and since I will most likely going to be droning on about this for a little while I thought it would be easier to just start a new thread.

Must say I prefer the new title Xmas Grin

For those that didn't read the mammoth previous thread, in a nutshell it's about me dithering to leave partner of 8 years. No sex life for a year, he's very self centred and unmotivated etc, no future to speak of, fed up.

Finally told him I want to split up last night so am now using MN as my lifeline to ensure I really do get out of this excuse for a relationship.

Thank you all again for letting me do this and your support :)

OP posts:
bloomingnora · 04/02/2011 11:38

I am having a day off work as DS2 fell and walloped his head on the front step and I have to 'keep an eye on him'. But I know you really mean the single folk....Grin

How are you, Elephants?

ImFab · 04/02/2011 11:40

Was thinking about you yesterday, Bibi, and got side tracked by another thread and have no memory so forgot to check in on you Blush.

Original poster
BibiBlocksberg · 04/02/2011 11:49

Ouch, sorry to hear about DS2 fall nora.

Hope nothing comes of it and he feels ok in himself.

I'm very well, busy re-arranging the house to MY tastes and having fun doing it.

It's taken me all this time to realise that the cap'n had taken almost every available surface and cupboard for his stuff.

Especially those that were most convenient and easiest accessible.

Blush can't believe I didn't realise that before. No wonder I was a constant ball of repressed anger Grin

Anyway, enough from me, what are you doing with your unexpected day at Nora (other than monitoring son I mean) and how are you elephants?

OP posts:
Original poster
BibiBlocksberg · 04/02/2011 11:51

Oh, was typing while you posted ImFab

I like the new shortened name btw especially as I was always too lazy to type more than 'hello FabNow' etc before Smile

OP posts:
ImFab · 04/02/2011 12:00
Grin

It is a statement of who I am, not what I am.

bloomingnora · 04/02/2011 12:02

I am mumsnetting Grin and I really should tidy up but the way I see it, if I was at work, it wouldn't have got done so we're really no further behind if I sit on my arse all day relax for a bit.

And it is insanely windy here so I am watching the roofing felt peel off the shed bit by bit. I have such an exciting life.

Original poster
BibiBlocksberg · 04/02/2011 12:12

"so I am watching the roofing felt peel off the shed bit by bit"

Grin - the suspense must be killing you.

How about a nice glass of lunchtime Wine ?

"It is a statement of who I am, not what I am."

I re-dyed my hair blonde last night so that statement is confusing me Grin

Cos it fits for both innit Grin

OP posts:
ImFab · 04/02/2011 12:16
Grin

I don't feel fab as I made ds1 cry this morning Sad and dh is cross I told him off in front of his mates.

Original poster
BibiBlocksberg · 04/02/2011 12:27

"and dh is cross I told him off in front of his mates."

Well, if it could have waited until later I'm sure you would have iyswim.

Sure son will survive as well. Got to give them something to tell their therapist later in life :) :)

Sorry, am being bombastic today, not sure why - probably due to Wine

Can you tell I love the new icon :)

Wine Wine Wine

OP posts:
bloomingnora · 04/02/2011 12:29

Wine cheers Bibi!

I typed you a ling reply Fab but it disappeared. In a nutshell, I bet you didn't cruelly make him cry, I bet you did something for his own good.

bloomingnora · 04/02/2011 12:30

a long reply. I didn't even hit post that time.

ElephantsAndMiasmas · 04/02/2011 12:32

Oh my god! There is Wine!

I didn't just mean the single folks, I enclose single and coupled alike in my virtual embrace

ElephantsAndMiasmas · 04/02/2011 12:34

Sorry had to post and run.

Sorry for tearful and head-banging boys, I'm sure they'll both feel much better by tonight, it is the weekend after all.

ImFab · 04/02/2011 13:59

Can I tell you what happened?

bloomingnora · 04/02/2011 14:15

yes!

ImFab · 04/02/2011 14:20

I went to give another mum a message, normally I would tell the kids but they were playing and I thought I would be back before they noticed I had gone. DD came up crying saying ds wouldn't tell her where I was. DS was there too and went to go into school. I made him apologise and he denied saying it as he said he didn't know where I was either. Having had him be mean to her all week I believed he could have done this. I have felt like crap all day tbh and I would put money on the head being there when I pick up and saying something to me. I know I should have asked him if he had done it (though he doesn't always admit stuff) and definitely shouldn't have told him off in front of his class but I had had enough of him being mean to dd, ds is ill, and I just did the wrong thing.

bloomingnora · 04/02/2011 14:27

That is a tiny tiny tiny tiny thing in the grand scheme of things. Give him a hug when you see him later and think no more about it. He won't remember it this afternoon anyway. It'a perfectly possible he said to DD "I don't know" but it is equally possible he said "I'm not telling you". They can be unbelievably mean and children lie. ALL the time. I know this because I work with them (and I have 3) and they will swear black is white. I doubt very much the head will be there - if she is tell her to go and do some work. She should have more important things to do.

It sounds like you are knackered and overstretched.

bloomingnora · 04/02/2011 14:28

It is okay to drop te ball sometimes. DS2 banged his head because DD said she would keep an eye on him while I put the bags in the car and she forgot (in the 30seconds I was gone) and he fell out of the front door. And then I shouted at her.

bloomingnora · 04/02/2011 14:31

She is 7. It was MY FAULT ENTIRELY. But I am trying not to feel guilty.

ImFab · 04/02/2011 14:39

I just feel like I am making so many mistakes.

I am leaving now to go to school.

Thanks for not shouting at me.

bloomingnora · 04/02/2011 14:42

No! You are not making mistakes. I could tell you some to make your toes curl. It was a tiny thing but I suspect that tiredness is making you lose sense of proportion. I prescribe v early night for you. I also have to go on school run. Take care.

ElephantsAndMiasmas · 04/02/2011 14:55

Oh god is that it, Fab? It's alright, that is really nothing. So you guessed that he might have been mean, on the basis of previous mean things, and now you're worried you might have been wrong? That's what parenting is all about, I imagine, trying to do the right thing all the time based on the information you have, and sometimes getting it wrong or regretting it later. I would be astonished if the head talked to you about it, unless you were giving him a right hook in the playground. Which I'm sure you weren't :o

ooh blooming that must have been an awful moment! Bet DD feels awful about it as well, but it's so easy for kids to lose concentration isn't it?

ImFab · 04/02/2011 16:57

I told ds I was sorry and had been worrying about him all day just wanting to see him. He said he had been the same. We walked back and then he said X had hit him round the head and teased him about me telling him off Angry. I went into the office to make this known and that I have had enough of him being physically hurt at school. I have posted in primary education about changing schools as it is more than just my child being hit and no one is stopping it.

bloomingnora · 04/02/2011 18:41

You see, there is back story that makes your worry make more sense. I can totally see why you wanted to send him into school in a really positive frame of mind. I hope you manage to get everything sorted.

Yes, my DD felt awful. But it was my fault, not hers, I am in charge (apparently!).

Bibi, when you have sorted your house, please feel free to come and give mine a go Grin

ImFab · 06/02/2011 10:57

I need a favour from my friends on here. Can you check out my thread in chat about dh walking off after a row please. I need a friend.