Am I right in my conviction, lovely DP has done something unforgivable and I really think we're over

[IDontLikeDisciples]

We went out with a big group of friends yesterday afternoon,long pub lunch as most were off work due to the snow, he went home as he started to feel unwell.

I had a seizure in the loo, was taken to hospital by ambulance(this has happened a few times and is being investigated, possible epilepsy). DPs best friends wife came with me, made sure I was okay and was generally lovely.

I came home to a horrid email from DP, heres part of it

THANKS A FUCKING LOT, had half the village ringing me when I was ill in bed thanks to another of your 'episodes'. Can't believe you dragged Laura to the hospital in this fuking weather. You really worried people. I've had no sleep as the phone was contstantly ringing. Sort yourself out.

No 'oh my god are you okay?' etc Just that shower of shite.
I am stunned by this. What would you do?

Seeing someone else's illnesses as fake, attention grabbing and done only to annoy other people is an absolutely classic trait of an emotional abuser/narcissist and you are well out of it.

He is/will be dreadful.

Let me guess, if he had been ill, it would have necessitated an air lift to a Swiss clinic?

I'm just trying to imagine how the brain (the minuscule amount there is) of this kind of people must work. If I got calls that DH had a seizure and was taken to a hospital, the first thought would definitely NOT be to send him and email that "thanks a fucking lot, you selfish twat, the stupid phone call telling me you are in the hospital woke me up".

BalloonSlayer put it nicely.

He is a twat of the highest order.

As for your mutual friends, I'd tell them exactly why you were breaking up with him, show them the email if you must. If he is that nasty to someone he is going out with, who knows what he could do to people who are just friends.

Hope you're okay.

what cuntish behaviour.

As thumbplum says. Forward email on, but under guise of wanting to check you haven't inconvenienced Laura. And then run for the hills.

Holy fuck, what a complete twat

I agree with forwarding the email to your mutual friends with a message such as 'this is why P and I are no longer together'

Unbelivable

I presume he's dumped.

I would also tell everyone who asks , as you have mutual freidns, why he;s dumped you and forward the email, as has been suggested, as most sane people would not beleive that he would have even considered it, let alone typed it and setn it

never speak to him again

GET RID of the arsehole. He sounds a prize A wanker. I am absolutely at his behaviour.

As a point of reference, when I was dating DH in the early days I fell off my horse and ended up in A&E with concussion. Nothing serious, just a bump on the head and certainly not in your seizure category. DH wasn't there when it happened, but my best friend texted him to let him know I'd had a bump. The first thing he did was ring me to see if I was OK. The second thing he did (as soon as he could leave what he was doing) was to come over to my house and see if I was OK. He was kind, considerate and actually, if I'm honest, did my head in with his fussing over me. But my point is that he cared. This DP of yours sounds a self centred arsehole.

Run. Away. Quickly.

What a creep.

WOW that's bad. Horrible, nasty, twisted little person.

What a lucky escape you have had!

Although it may seem a bit OTT I'd agree with the others who say find a way to let that email get around those friends who are joint. He sounds quite vindictive as well as simply unpleasant. I suspect once the dumping becomes public, he'll be blaming and bad-mouthing you all the way. Friends may find it hard to actually believe your side of the story in response as it's so AWFUL!

I'd show it to Laura to start with and ask her with a worried look if there's any additional reason he could have sent something so INSANELY HORRIBLE to you. And then let the grapevine get going.

If he's that much of a nasty nutter, you'll be doing Laura and Co a favour!

Oh please leave I remember being ill and fainting in the cue of a new years eve music event and feeling ill and fainting I don't really remember what happened but my DP and his mate had to hold me up to get me in and through security it turned out i had some sort of stomach bug and was really dehydrated and that's why I fainted.

My DP blamed me for embarrassing him ruining his night and whatever. When I told people afterwards what happened they assumed we all left because I was so ill but no I had to go back to the car on my own freezing cold stay there from 8pm to 6am the next morning and it was freezing because I was only aloud the car key that opened the doors not the one that could turn the engine on as well to keep warm.

And he still blamed me for ruining his night like there was anything I could have done about it and it didnt even affect him really because he still stayed inside having a good time.

It was such a red flag if I had called it a day then I would have saved my self so much hard times.

One funny thing was he got it a few days later and he was so ill just like me but he made a massive fuss you would have thought he was actually dying but he still couldnt see what he did on new years eve was so wrong and I never really knew if he believed how ill I was.

thats a rather aggressive email for someone who has simply had a seizure.

Is there anything else in the email that would indicate why it is he feels so annoyed that you would need to be ambulanced to hospital? reads as if he almost thinks you have made the whole thing up and are a bit of a drama queen

I thought that, erm

thanks.

not being kind when you're ill is a major deal breaker for me! I knew a woman who forgave an affair but a while later dumpted the man for being cold and uncaring when she had very serious bout of food poisoning - I completely understand her POV!

how someone treats you when you're ill is very telling.

What a complete tosser. Like you had any control over your seizure or the weather. He's been shown up as someone who doesn't care and is hitting out at you. He needs to grow up. I had epilepsy until late teens, fortunately I grew out of it,(there was scarring on my brain that eventually healed ending the fits). My heart goes out to you, it must've been very scary for you. the EEG will give a conclusive answer, I've had loads over the years,they can be messy but don't hurt at all.

OP, he's not very smart, is he - showing his true colours before he even lives with you.

sounds a tool

don't give him a chance

well he certainly seems to think she does

I don't think you can fake proper seizures. They are very scary. Grand mal seizures in particular

Idontlike

Your ex H was abusive and now this "man" (I hesistate to use this term because he is truly no decent human being) is also an abuser.

I hope you now have nothing more to do with him, he is not worth two seconds of your time.

I would also advise you not to have any relationship until you have worked fully through counselling. You need to work out exactly why you embark on relationship with abusive characters like this current idiot (and there are always reasons why this happens, it may be linked to your own childhood experiences).

You may also want to do Womens Aid's Freedome programme if that operates in your area (I believe such a scheme tries to help women recover from abusive relationships).

As ATM says - you need to do some work on yourself, become more self-aware, build your self-esteem, look at your previous experiences/childhood to see how you have become vulnerable to these men. (My counsellor has a hard job).

Quite an unbelievable run of 'bad luck' you have ... quite unbelievable.