Am I right in my conviction, lovely DP has done something unforgivable and I really think we're over

[IDontLikeDisciples]

We went out with a big group of friends yesterday afternoon,long pub lunch as most were off work due to the snow, he went home as he started to feel unwell.

I had a seizure in the loo, was taken to hospital by ambulance(this has happened a few times and is being investigated, possible epilepsy). DPs best friends wife came with me, made sure I was okay and was generally lovely.

I came home to a horrid email from DP, heres part of it

THANKS A FUCKING LOT, had half the village ringing me when I was ill in bed thanks to another of your 'episodes'. Can't believe you dragged Laura to the hospital in this fuking weather. You really worried people. I've had no sleep as the phone was contstantly ringing. Sort yourself out.

No 'oh my god are you okay?' etc Just that shower of shite.
I am stunned by this. What would you do?

@expat, you got fuckwit dicksmack and titwank all in one post! i think that gets double bonus points on swearscore!

and yes Idontlike, dump the nobcheese.

What is with the smarmy comments implying this is not a true thread? Sheesh, just say if and why you don't believe it! I am intrigued now and its always the same people doing it as well, "The Troll Patrol" .

if you think it is a troll thread then you should report to HQ.

no pointing out why you think it is a crock of shit on the post

Well yes, agreed. Make no comment at all imvho. My nosiness runs away with me sometimes. I stand corrected "QGOM" .

Although I do actually believe this thread as I my ex once said to me "I can't stand it when you get bad news, your face goes all white and shocked and it really pisses me off!", this after losing my Grandmother and my Mum having an Angina Attack and collapsing in the garden, within the space of a 6 weeks or so. So I know there are people like this out there.

Oh lovely, now the troll hunters come out.

Fuck right off.

Haven't heard from him or tried to contact him, but really had to bite my tongue when friends have called to see how I am today. Soooo wanted to tell them.

Hi IDLD, I worked with someone who had (one) unexplained seizure. They didn't investigate 'cos it was just the one. However, he was being really badly bullied at work at the time - to the extent that the whole of personnel were hoping he'd report his manager who was known for it.

Could it be if you reduce the stress that this 'd'p brings it would help?

Sorry, if it doesn't make sense/help, was just a thought.

On the same lines as tb's suggestion, do you think that keeping it all to yourself (his outrageous email) might not help any stress you are suffering from?

I really really think, as many others have said, that it's much better to tell someone (if not more than one person) what he said. Don't think you have to keep it quiet. Why should you? It's not private, is it?

Tell Laura! And if not her, someone who knows you both. (You might even find the person you tell is not that surprised...)

well , tell them then ! I would be so bursting with fury, i'd probably take an advert out in the TImes or something so the world knew about this !

IDLD, tell your friends, tell them what he is, that is unacceptable.

Now, Tough love time.

Why do you set the bar so LOW? You need to find this out.

You DO need to dump him, you do need to spend some time alone, to work things through and find out why you accept these piss poor men.

If nothing else they are creating a drama you frankly don't need. This constant drama you are living at the moment is insane. It needs to stop now. I dare say the seizures are linked to this constant state of stress you have to be in currently.

You have one thing that is important, above all others that that is to get back control of your life, get some self esteem back and win back those kids of yours.

Come on girl, sort it out!

Well I have just had an interesting phonecall from a friend!

I knew that she and DP dated a few years ago, but didn't know the ins and outs. Turns out he was utterly beastly to her, promised her the world then all of a sudden stopped answering her ccalls, even blanked her in the street and keanwhile had told friends she was mad and desperate for a baby so he had to 'get rid'.

Blimey, kind of understand why she didn't want to tell me before but I wish she had tbh!

And thanks, tough love is really needed. I've had a lengthy chat with my dad who said much the same.

And so - have you dumped him yet? Or are you just going to leave it open-ended?
I really would just bite the bullet and tell him to fuck off now. And, although I wouldn't normally think it is a good way to do it, I would do it in reply to his email and CC in all your mutual friends so that they ALL know and know why!

I haven't been in touch, he texted me earlier to let me know he was in the pub with friends if I fancied going!? wtf?

Glad you are kicking his sorry arse out of your life. Hope you get a diagnosis soon. I developed epilepsy as an adult with no obvious cause, very scary. Fortunately I had a lovely dh who supported me. Any decent man would be concerned about you, not whinging and whining about the phone ringing, FFS.

And please DO copy that email to all your mutual friends. Blind copy. They ought to know what a wanker he is.

(Oh, and re. epilepsy, I was diagnosed after IIRC the third seizure and EEG/MRI scan. Just have to take two tablets every day and I'm fine. Doesn't affect my life at all in any way, apart from not driving - although the prohibition lasted only a short while, I am now having lessons and determined to pass my test!)

I'm so sorry for you OP. I have epilepsy and although it's under control now I spent a period of about 18 months having grand mal seizures 2-3 times a week. Not much fun.

Stress IS a trigger for seizures.

Easier said than done but tell this utter twat to FUCK RIGHT OFF!

Expect a charm offensive now that leaves you doubting whether his behaviour was really all that bad. Don't let him back under your defenses. Cut him out.

Go to the pub meet him and tell his friends in front of him about the email.. what an arse...

He is a total headfuck. You would be mad to carry on..

That is so appalling, IDontLikeDisciples. Poor you. Such a prize bastard, it's very difficult not to urge you to take revenge somehow.

I'm going to have to quit work because of the seizures. ffs. Only recently started and I'm LOVING it.

Would you really copy people into the email? I thought about just ringing laura and letting her know,, she will be so furious she'll swiftly spread the word which will save me looking petty....hmm

(feels odd using RL names on mumsnet)

Have you got Laura's number? Could you maybe ring her to thank her for all her help, then slip it into the conversation that you and the eejit are no longer an item? From what your friend's told you about her experience of him, he might try a spot of damage-limitation badmouthing, so no harm to have someone in his circle who knows your side of the story.