The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Carry On Past The Vineyard.

[Mouseface]

Welcome to the Bus!

I'm Mouse and you'll find me snuggled sat at the back where it's warmest!

If you're sober, drinking, or somewhere between the two, you are more than welcome on board.

No judging, no cliquey groups and no closed minds here, oh no! Chances are, no matter how bad you may be feeling right now, one of the Brave Babes will have been there too!

So, come say hi.

And, to read the last thread and other journeys so far, follow this link

seriously headless, im glad you're here and bloody well done you for coming out with it!, yep, sounds like you have a problem!

SO, today is the new start! , no drink today (always easier when you feel like shite!) tomorrow, you pick yourself up, and start afresh!

btw, i dont have to be pissed to tell deep dark secrets , my mouth always runs away with me!

Jesuswhatnext You made me smile for the first time today, thank you.

Dipso I was at a party/ceilidh on Saturday. I can be quite shy and most of the people there would be dp's friends or people I didn't know. Even though I have known dp's friends for years and years I allow myself to feel intimidated and boring around them and usually I just get drunk.

On Saturday we arrived and without my usual alcohol fog, I could see that other people were also nervous at times, but once we found a topic to talk about it was fine. I managed to chat (ask a couple of quetions and most people will gladly fill the conversational space), I listened a lot, I ate without getting petulant that the Pavlova had all been eaten by some greedy kids, I danced without falling over, I went back and went to bed without joining in the god-awful late night session that involved red wine, champagne and whiskey. I woke the next day without a hangover. And because I'd been sober and could remember what had happened and who had said and done what, dp and I had the most brilliant gossip all the way home in the car .

Being sober is boring? not in my book.

oh for heavens sake silver!! , do stop being a drama queen!

i was giving your post some thought 'actually'! i think i say 'just a soft drink' out of habit, its not really a consious thing, just an expression, but i do see what you mean!, from now on, i think i will say what i would like in a more assertive way!

Yeah! for assertive drink ordering.

Bartender: What will you have?
Brave Babe: You know what, I'd LOVE a soad with mango and fresh lime juice.

Host: What can I get you?
Brave Babe: Oh I see you've got the elderflower fizz on ice. Fantastic.

Friend: Do you fancy a drink?
Brave Babe: Oh yes! A streaming mug of hot chocolate with cream and a flake.

I'm off to bed now, think it is the safest place for me tonight. See you all tomorrow morning and thank you for being there.

Night Headless - sweet dreams

Venus Hot Chocolate with cream anf flake - mmmmmmmmmmmh xx

Off too now just to watch telly in bed - the SLOWEST drama in the world - 'Little House' - but I'm still gonna watch the next episode.
[kiss] xxxx

Silver - sorry was catching up. I ALWAYS say 'just' before a soft drink. "Oh, just a boring old, non alcoholic Diet Coke please unless you'd like to see my knickers on my head later"

I'd never say "'Just' a bottle of your best Shitfaced please my man" or "Just a pint of...."

How funny we are.

Time for dinner now, back shortly.

I'm just popping my head in as I think this may be the place where I need to be right now...

I have a problem with alcohol and I want to sort it out now before I go too far.

I don't drink frequently, but when I go out and start to drink, I can't stop. I behave in ways that mortify me the following day, that is, if I can even remember what I did. Forgetting how I get home is a common occurance. I am scared to think about the vulnerable positions I have put myself in, the way I have treated friends and behaved around strangers.

This weekend was a real eye opener after another night during which I was the most drunk of everyone, crying my eyes out in a packed bar but not able to say why. My friend told me some long overdue home truths on the walk home (I remember that, I don't remember the full extent of my behaviour in the bar.) The next day when I went home I could barely look at my dh and dc- they would be so ashamed if they saw me drunk. I'm scared I have ruined one of the best friendships I've ever had.

I want to stop now before it's too late, but at the moment I can't imagine the work's Christmas party without wine, or Christmas Day, or what I'd do if invited on a girls' night out. At the moment, all these events seem pointless without alcohol, and that prives to me I have real issues.

So, is this the right place for me?

Take a seat Cupof

Welcome to the bus.

This is the right place for you if alcohol takes up most of your evening, your weekends and you look forward to drink o'clock but fail to only have a glass or two.

Re future events, ah yes, we all worry about those or have done.

It's a bit pointless though unless you are Mystic Meg. You wouldn't worry about going to the garden centre in case the had no daff bulbs before they were due for planting would you?

Kind of the same thing. No point in worrying about something that hasn't happened yet or is out of your control, i.e the furture!!

Rule number 1 (not that it we have rules) is no projecting!

You will find heaps of support on this bus and some very Brave Babes (male and female) all at different stages of their battle with the booze.

You are in control of where you want to go on the bus.

cupof tea of course it is the right place for you, welcome to the bus. You will see that we all have problem drinking habits, so climb aboard and join us.

You don't need to think about Christmas yet, it is still a long way off, one day at a time is all you need.

Your friend sounds like a GOOD friend and she told you those things because you needed to hear them.
Do you want to stop drinking or to cut down?

sorry cross post with Mouse (how are you always there for us Mouse? X)

Thanks for the welcome, Mouse

I can't say that alcohol takes up my evenings because I don't drink during the week. I used to look forward to Friday nights soooo much, because as soon as the dc were in bed I would sit and open a bottle of wine and drink the lot by 8.30pm. My dh works random hours, so these Friday sessions would be on my own. Dh would often just come home to find me passed out in bed.

We went to marriage counselling, and he brought up these sessions as a problem in our relationship, so I agreed to stop the Friday drinking, which in fairness I have managed. The consequence of this is that I tend to plan something for most Saturday nights so I can leave the house and drink- pub, nights in at a friends' houses, weekends away with friends etc. As you can see, my dh (a non/very occasional drinker) doesn't feature in my Saturday nights

I feel devious and shallow.

Thanks BBwannaB.

You are right, she is a good friend and I needed to hear it from her.

I don't know if I want to stop drinking? I know that I want to change my relationship with alcohol. I want to be able to look forward to a social event without drinking.

I'm 'only' 28, but I've had this problem with alcohol since I started going out on Friday nights at 17. I didn't know when to stop then, and I still don't now. I just love the feeling of sitting with a glass of wine in front of me. Problem is, I gulp it like it's squash

Have you got anything planned for this saturday coming? If so can you break that arrangement and plan an evening in with DH instead? You will get plenty of support on here, to change your habits if you want to.

welcome cupoftea, and well done on the week time sobriety.
You will find this a helpful place.

Thanks dementedma

BBwannaB- no, I haven't got plans for Saturday night this week. After last Saturday I'm feeling positive about my resolve for not drinking this weekend! I won't be able to do anything with dh as he will be sleeping ready for work at 3am, but I am taking my dc on a day trip on Saturday so hopefully I should be worn out enough that I could manage an early night with a cuppa and the laptop. The following weekend is our wedding anniversary and that would be a rare occasion when dh would drink, so I'm wondering if I could cope with driving us to a restaurant somewhere so I physically can't drink.

They sound like good plans to think about, but as we said just take one step at a time and see how you get on. You have made one mighty step by coming on board tonight so feel proud of yourself for that.

I'm off to bed now, have a good day tomorrow babes.

Evening all & hello cupoftea

I am sitting here with my 2nd glass of.... red grape & pomigranite juice

I still feel like shite from last night & my shame will now play back in my head when ever I feel like having a bottle of wine.

I have tried to talk to DH but he doesn't understand that I can't stop at 2 glasses, something inside of me just sends me from 2 glasses to 2 bottles. I suggested I might have a problem but he said I could just stop but if that was the case then last night, last week, last month wouldn't have happened.

Going to read my book & pray for some normal sleep.

Thanks for today BB's

< hangs her boxing gloves up as she leaves >

hi cupoftea!!, nice to meet you!, i have to echo mouse - you are committing the cardinal sin of 'projection'! , worry about christmas at christmas, thats what we are doing!!, worry about the office party the night of the office party!, worry about saturday on saturday!, are you detecting a theme here? , in other words, dont think long term, live each day as it arrives, we are all finding that is the only way we can do this!, it makes life quite simple too!

well, im off to bed, nutcase dh is still out scuba diving , dd is in holland all week on a course and i have just done my nails and had a face pack!, listening to classical fm - lovely peaceful evening, even the cats are asleep in front of the fire - i love this peace around me, and in my head!, its priceless!

sleep well lovley babes!, see you in the morning

night night drama!!

Oh just remembered.

Thurso as we are both newbies your post rings very true for me. It's not normal to be proud of yourself for making it through one night without wine.
It's not normal to do stuipd things shit faced at 1am on a school night & it's not normal to spend a whole day with your stomach in knots as you remember your shamefull behaviour.

I will fucking crack this, I will not turm into my mother.

night night ladies I'm off before I give myself the hump

Nemo has just puked his entire last feed all over the bedroom floor, sorry I disappeared.

Off to replace it and then go to bed.

Night night Brave Babes, sleep well. And remember that today is done and dusted!!

Moving on! xxx