The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Carry On Past The Homebrew In The Shed!

[HammerMouseOfHorrors]

Hello, I'm Mouse.

Welcome to the Brave Babes Bus. You can get on at any point in the journey, there is plenty of room, it's free to ride and there is always someone who will be along to hold your hand over the speedbumps!

So, no matter where you are in your quest to quit the booze, join us for support, advice and a fair few laughs along the way

There is no judging, no cliques, just real poster with real problems being real and honest!

Come and meet the others.....

Here is the previous thread where you can read all of the threads so far, including JWN's original thread and the reason we are all here.

I wasn't quite prepared for you not to all say it is all my own fault, after all I am the one holding the glass empty bottle every night.

I can't blame DH completly as I have no self control but I will hapily take a seat with you all & try my best for my girls because apart from being a bad wife I am also letting my girls down.

Night night all & again thank you.

Repeat after me..."I can control what I do and I am not a bad wife"
Hope you can get a good night's sleep.
take care
x

Good Morning
Pinch, punch first day of the month :)

Happy November.

Morning All
Well it is the first of the month, a Monday 9first day of the working week)and (here at least) back to school after half term and not raining!
Knowing how good we are at making deals with the drink devil, how about a deal for ourselves for all those auspicous 'firsts' and so Today we will not be drinking for ourselves and our families.

JWN hope you are feeling better and boosted by that 5 month achievement - who'ld have thought back in June.

Hope everyone stepping on to the bus has a happy and productive day whatever it may hold.

Morning everyone another one here for a fresh start.

Today I will not be drinking

mornin everyone

• hope everyone is good .. my self I don't think I like the world around me at the moment.. Its going to be a long day - as I have realised that a couple of reasons for my drinking are very close to home and is me that left em fester in my need to avoid confrontation at all cost. Spose I will need to deal with it head one or change my life drastically either way it will be painfull and messy -

Morning all.
diabolik it's amazing how much more clearly we see things when we are sober isn't it?
Hope things are OK.

morning all!!, feeling a bit brighter here, got a whole heap of work to do today and the house looks like it has had a maurourding hoard through it!, oh wait, it has!! , at least this year i am invited elsewhere for bonfire night and am not hosting them all again!

diabolik, you alright mate?, i take it you are talking about the situation with dp?, you know us bunch of girls dont mind listening dont you?, if you need to talk!, i have been told that men do somtimes!!

oh, btw, my lovley sil, the one who always says exactly the wrong thing said i looked a bit washed out - 'are you anemic?, perhaps you should have a can of guiness every day' its a good job i know she is as daft as a brush!

Morning everyone, still feeling shitty here but serves me right!

Im ok Ill live - I just need to re adjust my position in this relationship.

I accepted when we got together that I never would come first ( she had kids ). But now the kids have left it seems I am just there to pick on incessantly .. I don't see why I am with her any more .. its all about her say anything subject gets changed like something and its shit think something and I m wrong .. and god forbid defend my self and I am an arsehole ( the abusive gets left out but is being insinuated )

Friday an ex colleague of her comes over she was going out for dinner with her and Im doing my food .. The friend makes a comment about me picking up things and making my dinner..

The GF walks in and goes that's only cause your there ..

Now I have actually always pride myself on the fact that I can take care of my self I don't need a woman to feed and dress my like a child thank you very much...

anyway that was the start of the week-end and I wish that had been it .. Anyway I could go on but really it is not worth it doesn't change anything.

Oh Diabolik, is it constantly like this or is it when she has been drinking?

Diabolik It sounds as if you are really working things out in your head. You are making real positive changes to your life. Would it be possible to have a really good talk with her, it's as if you have turned a page and she is still behind IYSWIM. Change is hard for yourself, but sometimes even harder for partners to accept. [hsmile]

DTC .. well it sounds maybe worse then it is but that's how it all feels to me .. however its not drink related .. that's for sure..
I do know its why her daughter left at the first opportunity as my GF can be rather full on.

Monring.

There are lots of roller-coaster posters here right now! Wow, what a mixed bunch we are. I think that helps all of us massively.

We are all at different stages of sobriety and I personally find that will help the new comers see that we have all been in thier shoes. Does that even make sense? New meds last night so I have scrambled brain syndrome today!!

loopy - how are you sweetheart? I have been thinking about you.

Red - morning you, I know you will appear at some point today. How are you holding up? How was the weekend for you?

JWN - I forgot to say well done for 5 months. You are amazing. You really are. Thank you for sharing your life with us all. xx

venus and Christi - are you out there?

It is obviously depressing you at the minute, can you talk to her about it? or have you past that point?

Morning Mouse:)

Hello everyone,

I've just come back from a long swim, treated myself to toast and coffee in the cafe, and then went and bought the ingredients for a Christmas cake! I just hope that I am not on some sort of unnatural high!
I have an extra long hol, so am not at work this week.
I didn't get the 5 o'clock "pull" in my tummy last night, so here's hoping.(day 5)
Diabolik I wonder the same thing as Desire, is your partner more snickety when she's been drinking, or hungover? I know I was, I would conjure up a disagreement about the stupidest things.
Also it's very true what others have said on here before, that just because one stops drinking, doesn't mean everything is going to be perfect. I am very lucky that my Dh is a bit fab, and very supportive re:the drink, but, we're still going to have issues. The good thing is that sober, I feel I am worthy of an opinion, because I'm not feeling ashamed for crap behaviour.
All this, on only 5 days, tell me to shut up:)

DTC - I need some space thats all to regain perspective and some fight- Luckily I will be on a business trip next week and staying 5 days with my parents in the Netherlands ...

morning all - hops aboard bus.
One bottle over the entire weekend so fairly chuffed with that.
did someone say we were off to Africa???
Diabolik - hope you can manage to sort things out with GF. You are doing so bloody well.

Sorry Diabolik, crossed posts.

diabolik

Your GF is more than likely resenting the change in you. And yes, you have changed. You have taken control of your drinking and you can see things in your life/relationship that in the past were maybe a little blurred shall we say.

Her children have left so it's just the two of you. You were hoping that this would mean you got her undivided attention I'm guessing? Nights in or out together, exploring new things, having some real couple time?

Not so it would appear.

She is picking on you, because she doesn't like the new, improved sober version. She has lost her drinking buddy, her partner in crime as it were.

The little 'digs' that you are getting from her, is her way of dealng with this change. She obviously feels that her drinking is a bad thing. She feels guilty for drinking and projects that onto you by picking at the smallest things......

I am so sorry that this is happening to you. this should be when you can get your lives on track with no children around. But I think she resents the new you, she likes the old you that would get wasted with her.

So....... what next?

Can you talk to her? Tell her how you feel, try to understand why she is angry/upset/mean towards you?

How long have you been together?

And if you like, tell me to bog off, it's none of my beeswax after all.

That is great diabolik, nothing like a change of scenery to help you gain a clearer perspective on things, and if you come back stronger then all the better.

Right I'm off for a run! Diabolik you asked me about my running last week, I run 6 miles(3/4 times a week) my average time is 50mins, so an 8 min mile. Have run the London Marathon twice, but not training for anything at the mo. I just love my running and my Ipod. Have been known to sing embarressingly loud whist running