hello all!, sorry, been a bit up meself today! 
, feel a bit better now though! 
, its good to see so many new faces on here!, dosnet it tell you all something?, yep, we are not alone with this, we can share all pain, the worry, the hurt, the downs and very often, all the ups!, to a greater or lesser degree we all have the same story to tell - alcohol is fucking up our lives, or at least it will if we let it!
i am nearly 5 months sober now, the longest i havent drunk since i was about 20 , its not been all bad, but i was on a very definate downward slope - i have found that if i picture alcohol as a sort of cunning, evil little fucker that wants to kill me i have some power in myself to say no to it!, i find the peace in my head is something money cant buy, i am beginning to find a quiet contentment in my life that i never had before - i was always on the edge of a sort of cliff, about to fall over the side, i thought the booze was helping me stay on top, all it did was make me wobble nearer the crumbly edge, every time i knocked a rock off and it landed at the bottom i had another drink, so, while the rocks kept falling the booze kept me fuddled and confused, everything is becoming kind of clearer now, some of the rocks that fell were not actually my fault and i could have done nothing to change that, now the fog is lifting i find myself wondering why i spent so long trying to change things that i had no control over while at the same time cocking other things up so spectacuarly when i could have changed the outcome!
well anyway, i suppose all my ponderings just lead me to the conclusion that the stuff inside those bottles just turns everything into a crock of shit! (see, im a deep thinker me! )
so, another day lived to its fullest, the potential tomorrow for another good day and all i have to do is remind myself that
I WILL NOT BE DRINKING!