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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Carry On Past The Offy!!

977 replies

Mouseface · 09/10/2010 18:54

Well, this is our tenth thread so we are throwing a little party!

Everyone is invited! No booze of course, soft drinks and mocktails only!

I'm Mouse, hello. Smile

There are all kinds of drinkers on board the bus. Come and join the journey, whatever stage you are at, drinking, cutting down, wanting to stop or sober already.

Everyone is welcome to post here. Come say hi.

The journey so far is below.

JWN's original thread

Thread two

Thread three

Thread four

Thread five

Thread six

Thread seven

Thread eight

Thread nine

OP posts:
fallen24 · 12/10/2010 14:28

well im going back to bed for a couple of hours - see if I feel any better later.

Whitenapteen · 12/10/2010 14:37

Afternoon All
It's been busy on this thread and quite intense.
No matter what help any of us choose to seek out or take up, or offer, ultimately each one of us has to make our own choice about alcohol and the effect it has on us and therefore our lives and what we do about it.
I choose not to drink today. I choose to value the life that I have - not always fantastic, not always awful but a life worth living. I choose to 'listen' to what others in a similar position have to say because I may always learn something or it may help me to think differently about my relationship with alcohol. I may not always like what I 'read' because it may be a painful truth I have tried hard to ignore. I may not always agree. But I value the thread for offering me the fellowship of others and I read each post with the underlying thought that the poster is hoping to help - even if that is not always achieved.

Today I will not be drinking. I imagine I am not alone in that decision. 4 months on I can only say it is a decision I make daily because the rewards are greater than when I drank. Life was good back then too, but sooo much better now.

ChristianaTheSeventh · 12/10/2010 14:39

fallen sending you a hug. Hope you sleep well.

jesuswhatnext · 12/10/2010 14:41

WHAT IN THE BUGGERY FUCK IS GOING ON? THE WHOLE ETHOS OF THIS THREAD IS MUTUAL SUPPORT!
WHOEVER YOU ARE, WHEN YOU FIND YOURSELF IN A HOLE STOP FUCKING DIGGING! AGREE TO DIFFER AND MOVE ON! THESE PEDANTIC ARGUMENTS COULD DRIVE AWAY SOMEONE WHO DESPERATLY NEEDS THIS THEAD AND ITS NOT FUCKING ON!!

YES, I AM ANGRY!

BACK LATER

ChristianaTheSeventh · 12/10/2010 14:44

fallen sending you a hug. Hope you sleep well.

desiretochange · 12/10/2010 14:49

JWN As they say on tv "YOU GO GIRL" :):)

munkymaz · 12/10/2010 14:53

WNT Nice post!

fallen24 · 12/10/2010 15:01

I could kick myself for drinking on Saturday when I'd actually gone 36 hours. I didn't feel this bad on friday

MsGee · 12/10/2010 15:01

I was waiting for JWN to come and administer some slaps Grin

fallen I hope that you feel better after a couple of hours kip. It sounds like you have already identified ways in which you enable the drinking (staying in hotels etc.) can you change your plans so that you don't do that for a few weeks, reduce the temptation? There are also many ladies on here who share your experiences of train journeys.

WNT good post

RED we are still here, as is your place on the bus. I am thinking of you and miss you.

ChristianaTheSeventh · 12/10/2010 15:09

fallen you just take today as it comes, don't drink today, you'll soon be more than 36 hours gone. Have you been to the doctor? Maybe it would be an idea because otherwise your withdrawal may be quite severe.

desiretochange · 12/10/2010 15:10

WNT congrats on 4 months sober:) Echo what others say, great post! You have summed up the whole purpose of this thread.

WasindieNial · 12/10/2010 15:19

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

fallen24 · 12/10/2010 15:20

Nah - I can and have just stopped before - like a few weeks ago when mum stayed here . I don't get withdrawal as such for some reason - it's a family trait.

It's just the hangover from he'll right now

WasindieNial · 12/10/2010 15:22

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MIFLAW · 12/10/2010 15:31

Fallen

Your drinking sounds like mine, except I couldn't stop at will.

That said, people I know who could do that say that the problem for them was not stopping, but STAYING stopped.

And I found the same when I finally sought help - that I could stop for a while but then drinking would seem like a good idea and I would be off again.

It all gets very messy.

I'm also like you in that I was never aware of suffering any withdrawal as such - or, rather, I did, but didn't see it that way at the time.

Whitenapteen · 12/10/2010 15:46

Wasindie
I'm still here, half way down the bus, enjoying a nose over the fences and hedges into other peoples gardens. Bad habit - always used to stare out of the train window on daily commute.

WasindieNial · 12/10/2010 15:49

This reply has been deleted

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WasindieNial · 12/10/2010 15:52

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fallen24 · 12/10/2010 15:53

Was the withdrawal thing that allowed me to justify the drinking on and on - people kept telling me that people who drink as much as I can all the time have all sorts of horrrible nasties happen to them when they go told turkey.

So of course that justified me drinking still.

Except I know I don't - so it was just that, an excuse.

The drinking ive been doing here is because I can - I spent two years being nagged by my ex being told I had a problem and to do something about it so when I moved out into my flat, I just thought sod you, I can drink if I want to.

WasindieNial · 12/10/2010 15:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WasindieNial · 12/10/2010 15:59

This reply has been deleted

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MIFLAW · 12/10/2010 16:07

I've been thinking and I've decided that I'm going to try and take a "back seat" (hilarious pun - d'you see what I did there?) from now on, at least for a while.

The more I think of it, the less fascinating my advice seems anyway - it basically comes down to:

  1. admit to yourself that you have a problem
  2. stop completely
  3. to enable you to do that, find support from fellow (ex) problem drinkers
  4. fill the void by considering whether your problem drinking is a symptom of something else and then address that "something else"
  5. try to help others

We have also now established that I can receive personal messages (thanks for showing me the way on that, Mouse) so if anyone does want any help I can easily be contacted.

In the mean time, I will be lurking - just not posting as much (something my boss will doubtless be pleased about!) I'll also still be on the bilingual threads which is why I came to MN in the first place, as well as weighing in to an argument any time Daftpunk says something silly. Smile

Good luck to you all, however you choose to get well.

jesuswhatnext · 12/10/2010 16:14

oh do stop being a big girl miflaw!, someone disaggred with you!, no need to flounce off!

MsGee · 12/10/2010 16:14

wasindie nice to see you

smallerGee is doing well. The days of poogate are well and truly over but she is as stubborn as ever, still not settled at nursery, despite meetings and new strategies.

Apart from that, she is wonderful and (to my horror) a real girly girl. She keeps going on about being pretty and twirling about the place, demanding to wear only dresses. I am trying to tell her that what is important is being kind etc. but she still seems to go on and on about being pretty. Its made me think a lot about how we casually tell little girls they are pretty and the message it sends.

Do other parents of daughters have advice? This obsession with all things girly is new to me, I never wear skirts or dresses, so its all a bit odd that she is SO girly. It is just a phase and should I not worry?

munkymaz · 12/10/2010 16:19

MsGee being the aunty to 5 nieces I can categorically say - she will grow out of it Wink

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