ALL NEW Road to Recovery for the Recently Ditched No.8

[teaandcakeplease]

Dearly Be-Chucked, we are gathered here today because, for whatever reason, our man has dumped us!

Whether you are a new dumpling or a vet, feel free to join us in our quest for serenity

Yes, confession was forced. Please help me.

LC do you want me to private message you my phone no.? I'm worried about you.

LC - if you ever want to talk, PM me and I will send you my no, Tea is prob a better bet than me as she is further on the road to recovery than I am but I will support you any way I can.

shit lc i am worried now, i will pm you.

No, don't worry. I'm just shellshocked and need to know someone is there. Believe it or not, I'm sitting on the sofa with ds and xp as I write this. Bizarre.

Oh I wouldn't say that Romney I'm a young 'un at 32. Still a lot to learn in life.

LC - Kick his butt back to the hotel, and make sure one of your older children comes over.

I am deadly serious about giving you my phone number if a chat with someone would help?

we are ALL here for you sweetheart.

it won't get any worse than it is now for you i don't think, you have the ABSOLUTE truth now don't you? The whole dirty truth and as ugly as it is at least you can stare it in the face and know what you are dealing with xxxx

To be honest, today is not the worst day.

Thank you.

X posted with you LC. XP as in your XP from your first relationship or your current cheating partner? If it's the later, send him off now.

lc when i think back to when you and i started on this thread way back when (i name changed form armbow by the way in case you missed that) i will always remember you as a kick arse sort of gal. you can deal with this.

I know I can deal with this. I am strong and he is weak. Very weak. Unfortunately, I have a natural instinct to help the weak and that is why he is here in the house with me now.

I haven't got the energy to hate him or be angry any more.

Totally agree WQ, LC you are so strong. Your strength has always shone through when you gave me such good advice when I was trying to come to terms with my DH's limbo time and I love you messages etc. Keep your strength.

LC - after the day you've had you're probably feel completely emotionally wrung out. I really would send him on his way though. You need space and he was supposed to be finding somewhere to live permanently anyway. Don't allow him to drain you anymore tonight. Have some space, real space. You deserve it and need it x

Ladies sorry I typed out a long response to everyone last night & then lost it somehow or other . I didn't get a chance to retype it & thread has moved on now!

LC, so so sorry to hear your latest news. It seems like a double betrayal almost that he was giving you mixed messages & at the same time having a sexual relationship with ow up until a few days ago. ((Hugs)) Keep posting & you will get through this, you're a fighter.

Happy, sorry to hear BE is abandoning all it seems((Hugs))

Sov, you xp is a twat . I had so much of this crap with xh too & it's so so hard ((Hugs))

Hope everyone else is doing ok

So wrung out. So tired. Can't send him packing tonight. Can't face any more tears.

Don't worry. Kick-ass mode will be resumed shortly. Just trust me, girls.

After all is said and done, he is my best friend. But best friends don't shit on each other like this, do they?

no they don't lc, you are right.

No they don't LC The line in the sand WWIFN talks about has been drawn, well and truly and he crossed it long long ago. They deserve each other, they truly do. No point in competing for him with her. The truly deserve each other. Time to let go of any residual hope you had imo. Sounds harsh but enough is enough LC He's a weak, spineless, lying snake. Tomorrow is a new day. Get some sleep and put a plan in action tomorrow ((hugs))

Your right LC, I always thought DH was my best friend but as you say would you do anything like that to your best friend, because I certainly would not.

Tea, great post, that was exactly what I was saying earlier I feel OW and my DH deserve each other.

Hello can I join? I left my dh after he left me no choice, despite having 3 ds together aged 1, 2 and 8 and actually believing he was the love of my life!

LC you sound as if you are going through hell and coping. Be strong and don't be soft life will go on and you will be better off without this guy. How old are your dc?

I caught my dh cheating a few weeks back via a text message on hols, then discovered he is still using cannabis which used to be a huge problem and broke us up before. Next came the huge visa bill which he has now taken steps to sort out but I'm so weary of all this now. I need harmony in my world so I have told him to leave and let me get my head around all of this without him. As busy as I am doing everything myself with 3 ds, no family around and a job, I am enjoying the peace. Sometimes I get that cold cold feeling and i worry for our 8yr old who misses him but thinks he has gone away for work. It is hard to be positive all the time sometimes I just burst into tears out of the blue especially with all the blooming Christmas songs wherever you go.I need a plan.

Hi. I feel I need to read this thread from start to finish to 'get to know' you all before I can offer any help but for now LC, I know how you feel. When I first found out in July 2008 he told me it had been a three month fling the year before. In August 2009, when I discovered the phone, I found out what it had really been. Lies, lies and more lies.

Thinking of you.x

hi maybee

welcome to the fold

as you see from tonight we really try and muck in and help each other when we can.

you sound very very strong, a plan is a good thing.

one thing i used to do but have let it slide recently is start the day with one emotional thing that i wanted to do and one practical thing - and no matter what get those things done on that day.

eg - emotional - remove all traces of h from house (but this may be a bit too soon for you yet - are you sure you want to split?)
practical - phone solicitor and find out my rights.

a couple of positive things each day can make a massive difference to your well-being as you feel as though you are ploughing through the crap one step at a time. by doing it this way it can also make it all seem less overwhelming.

I know what you mean about xmas - this is my first one as a dumpling

Maybee I've lurked on your thread and have a lot of admiration for you. Welcome welcome.

Karmann a lot of our stories are on older threads but if you like here's [[http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/914075-How-do-you-know-when-you-should-just-give-up my original thread]

Can't work out why my link didn't work, they usually do.try again

Cheers warriorqueen, I am pretty sure I have to split.

I am manging to sleep v well this week so I will hit the sack and catch up soon.

:) good night