ALL NEW Road to Recovery for the Recently Ditched No.8

[teaandcakeplease]

Dearly Be-Chucked, we are gathered here today because, for whatever reason, our man has dumped us!

Whether you are a new dumpling or a vet, feel free to join us in our quest for serenity

lmfao at [bush]

And I have survived my second day (almost!) - going to try and get some sleep now as did not get any last night and starting to feel like a zombie!

Good night!

Hi all. Have never felt able to post about my situation before, didn't want to hear everyone tell me to leave him because that wasn't an option at the time, I was determined to make it work. I've also been worried about showing my vulnerable side.

Discovery was absolute hell. I was cleaning his car and found a spare mobile and just knew instantly what it was. It was a horrible heart stopping moment. Then all the lies started about how long it had been going on etc. He text her to tell her it was over - what a coward! Five years and he sent her a text and hasn't seen her since. she, by all accounts from her DH, was devastated. He said there was no emotional involvement on his side, just sex.

It's all such a waste of what was a good life and it all boils down to the thrill of illicit sex. No more than that.

And in spite of all this, I just can't seem to let go.

Now ladies tell me, in no uncertain terms, this man is not worthy of me!

Evening all,

Citydoll, hope you sleep well and yes it is the first step of many but you will get there in the end. Is there anything you always wanted to do but didnt because of him?

Karmann, Where are you at now hun? are you still together? What do you want to do? your H sounds like a piece of work, dumping her by text after 5 years and no hunny he is not worthy of you at all!

LC, Hope your ok and i agree with getting that it says more about him than it does about you, don't these men tend to go for the oppisite of their wives or am i wrong? if they do then by your description of her then you must be a very classy lady as she sounds like trash lol

Getting, The dreams are you letting go a bit more, i second WQ grab life by the bollocks and shake for all your worth :o

Doris, how are you doing? are you ok?

WQ, glad your enjoying a bit of mind numbing tv, it's always good, i have given the only way is essex a very wide berth, i live in essex and all my essex mates who have watched it are ashamed to be fom here after seeing that so i havent bothered, but if they were to make one of Middlesbrough where i'm from well thats a different story lol

Tea, hope your evening went well

Hope everyone doing well, all good here for now hopefully it will stay that way :o

Just wanted to say you ladies are all great- so entertaining,full of life and surviving hell with lots of va va voom.

Welcome Citydoll and Karmann. Im the Dumpling who tries to post but isnt as diligent as the others. Im glad to catch up with you and hope to chat with you more.

LC - DOnt dare leave. YOud be too missed

Starting - sorry Norm my not be able to provide all you are looking for.

Sov -you are sounding very good

Hi Happy :)

Hi to everyone else inc Patience! :)
Pink -always look forward to your posts

Great music -mostly from my era!

WQ I did catch that Essex programme but wasnt quite sure it was real and couldnt really take that much Essexness so switched over

I need to go to bed - very bad habits fo after 12 bedtimes have crept in and must stop it. NIght night!

Waves to all.......

Had college tonight so only had a chance to have a quick flick of thread. Will read properly in a mo.

Anyway update is I think Norm & I may survive the recent wobble after all . I think it's prob more me being emotional, vunerable & needy! Not used to feeling like this & it's not even the big "L" yet but I guess the wobbles are normal as things are getting more serious.

Lol at too much essexness

Hi, everyone,

Had about 7 hours' sleep last night so feeling a bit better this morning.

I even managed to bleed the radiators all by myself - a job which EH always did!

Somebody sent this to me and I thought it would be nice to share - it makes complete sense:

"Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending"

Have a good day!

Hi Citydoll, please you had a good nights sleep and hope you had a good day at work.

Starting - pleased you got your wobble sorted with Norm.

LC - How are you doing?

I have felt quiet strong the last few days, and I think I am coming to realise I deserve so much better than a cheating, lying and deceitful DH. Sometimes I think good luck to the two of them as they are definitely going to need it to make it work, there are a few things against them as the relationship started on lies and deceit in the form of an affair, he is going through a transitional time in his life and probably a mid life crisis (he is def in bonkersland), an age gap of 27 years and OW on the rebound from her engagement, so there are a few things against them, but only time will tell.

Hope everyone is having a good day, and I hope my strength lasts a few more days before I decline again!

sorry rant alert, will read posts later

SOO peed off, X was meant to be here at 3.30, text at 4 to say running late as usual wont be long, quarter to 5 i text him saying not good enough, see you thursday at 4 and guess what he hasnt bothered to text back grrrr really hope it's not all starting again i cant be doing with it all either he's there for them ON TIME or he's out for good, my DC are worth more than that TWAT!!!!!!

Hi all quick post.

BE is moving to Bumpkinland. I think it's all about him.....

When is that happening Happy? How far is that from your DCs? Will he be able to have them to stay easily? I got the impression Bumpkinland was far away from you previously So not ideal for the DCs.

How are you coping with it all?

Last night the course was on "Managing Other Relationships" - such as your parents/ in laws and children post separation. It was very very good and painful when they did real children's testimony's from divorce and what they needed from their parents. Can't believe the course has almost finished already. There is a celebration dinner on 22 Nov to end the course and you can invite a friend along to introduce the course to anyone going through separation or divorce themselves you know, who may like to attend the next course.

Is anyone there? I've had a hell of a day.

Found out that xp never ended the affair. They had sex just a few days ago. He told her he loved her on Saturday. It's been going on for about 2 years.

He has owned up to everything. Hasn't been in to work. I still have his phone so I know 100% there has been no contact with ow. In fact she has been frantic, sending texts etc.

Anyway, ow's husband came round to our house this afternoon because he realised something was up and xp and I told him everything. I was shouting and very upset - I screamed at xp "tell S when you last fucked his wife" and xp told him " a few days ago". I showed him the texts and he was in tears.

Upshot is that OW and her H are stalking us, texts, phone calls, sitting outside the house. They have gone now and we are bunkered down. Right now, I have no idea what tomorrow holds. I don't know whether xp and I will ever get through this but just for tonight we need each other as friends.

I'm here LC

Oh what a nightmare. I'm so sorry. Stiff drink anyone

Why were they stalking you and hanging about outside? It's good it's all out in the open now. Now you all have to decide where on earth to go from here though Your H is a prize turd if I do say so myself Especially after all his sitting in the hotel and recent asking on what would happen if he cut all contact with the OW. The wretched man has spent months continuing this affair the rotter. Can you train Wallace to bite his cheating, lying balls off next time he visits?

i am here lc...

shit lc i am so sorry you have found yourself here in this situation.

why are ow and her h stalking you together???? are you safe ????

why would the ow h have anything against you ???

(((hugs))) I am in all night and I will be on MN I will check it regularly if you need to vent/talk hope you are ok.

just read your posts sov and happy

happy - how do you feel about this, she lives quite far away from what i remember????

sov,keep the boundaries and stay firm.

Flippin' wish on your thread a few weeks ago now we'd known what we now know. That bloke deserves far worse! Grrr

Are you ok?

just read through that thread - did not see it last

LC Im so sorry, you must be feeling your lowest again, I cant imagine what you are going through and will be for the next few days, weeks. You have been so strong in recent times and Im sure you will get there again. I cant really give you advice as I am still on that rollercoaster myself. Just do whatever feels right.

Good Luck and keep posting and venting on here.

Occasional lurker, as you know...

Oh LC, it's as we suspected all along isn't it? I was a bit worried by the implication in your post that there's a way back from this...I do hope not. Please let this be the final line in the sand. If in doubt, read all your threads from when you were feeling so awful, but didn't know why you were feeling so awful, then your one in July when you were finally moved to do some digging.

These two have messed with your head for too long and would never have come clean. Awful, awful pair .

i have just read thru yours post again lc - did you find out because he confessed - in let's try and make it work kind of way - did he want to tell you the truth before you started again???

or did you find out by accident???

Given that LC was using his phone the other day, I would have thought that any confession, if there was one, was entirely forced. There was nowhere to go after that, was there?