OK, I'm back. I think it is very true that if the OP were on here talking about her own struggle to adjust and talking about wanting to throw the baby out the window we would all be making sympathetic noises and talking about PND.
I am no apologist for the male of the species but the fact of the matter is that he is struggling and this is making you unhappy so you do need to manage him a bit - not leave him or threaten to leave him, not on the basis of this and certainly not yet.
Everyone has expectations and most of us are not prepared for the pretty grim reality of looking after a newborn. For men it is even more of a shock becasue they have not been growing this baby inside them and making sacrifices for it, for nine months. A baby is usually not "real" to a man until it appears in front of him bawling its head off.
There is something that you need to explain to him. This is really really obvious but when a baby is crying and bawling for hours on end it is not doing it to annoy you or wind you up - although sometimes it can feel like it. Babies have a lovely time of it in the womb and then they come out and have their own very difficult and painful adjustment to make. I'm sure the transition to being in the real world with tummy aches and noises and fear and hunger and all of that must be just horrible for a baby. And babies have no other way of communicating but crying. And their crying has been designed by millions and millions of years of evolution to be as godawful f*cking annoying as it possibly can be so that mummy and daddy cannot just ignore it and leave baby starving behind a rock for any passing lion to eat.
It might help him to understand that junior is not in fact a whinging bastard but the peak of several million years worth of succesful breeding and childcare.
It might also help him to understand that most blokes probably feel the way he does from time to time with a newborn and that the first 3-6 months are actually quite sh*it but after that it gets easier - all the time. And it goes by really really fast. Very soon the the little fella will be calling him daddy and asking him to play with his trains and able to have conversation with him and he will (nearly) forget all this pointless boring whinging.
For your part OP, I think you need to make your DP feel involved, and needed and useful. Give him jobs (the fun ones if need be, like bathtime or reading stories) and ask his opinion on everything - every last vest you buy should require his input and opinion.
I have a 2 year old with a DP who is a wonderful dad and his own dad is and was very hands on, loving, involved. But DP struggled with the early days and got annoyed and impatient with the crying and, I could tell, felt it was all unnecessary and even to this day he is much more willing to let DS cry than I am. He never called him anything but he did once to my shock, chuck a bottle of milk on the floor at 3am in an exhausted fit of temper. This was so unlike him you wouldn't believe.
Anyway I have wittered on but you get the picture. He needs to understand that the annoying stuff happens for a reason and is very shortlived, and that soon he will feel very much like a dad - he just needs to be patient, with himself, with the baby and with you. And you need to let him see how important he is to you and the baby and that he will learn how to be a brilliant dad if he just chills out a bit.