Partner doesn't like baby

[ipukepoodles]

Hi,
I've come here as a last resort as i really don't know what to do anymore!
I have a 5 week old boy who i love to bits and actually think is really well behaved for a baby, however, my partner thinks differently. Whenever he cries he calls him a 'whinging bastard' and won't pick him up, he says he feels like he isn't a dad and says he resents him as we argue quite a bit now. Thing is, when i was pregnant he was pretty good (okay so not the most enthuastic person about it but towards the end he was) He's not a bad person at all and been a really good boy friend but suddenly he's changed. If our baby is crying and there's something he wants to watch on tv he wants to put him in the other room and 'let him cry it out' iv'e tried explaining that he's too young to be left but he won't have any of it so i have to go and sit in the other room too.
Is any of this normal? What can i do to try and get him to form a relationship with his son? I'm really trying but not getting anywhere and then i end up cross and upset and say things like you dont do anything, your shit. But i know this is only going to make things worse but i'm desperate! :(

I had a long labour and know that he actually found the labour really hard and nearly fainted - could he resent him because he just remembers the labour? Also he spent 6 days in neonatal unit. This baby wasn't planned but it was him that convinced me to keep him (not that i regret it at all!) He expects me to do all the cleaning of the flat whilst he is at work too and argues with me if it's not tidy enough! He's actually a really great guy (although i've painted this picture of him, he is loving towards me and other than this we rarely argue!) but i'm at my wits end now!

Good luck poodles, I'd reiterate what some other people said about finding a dads baby group, maybe at a Surestart. And letting him do baths, and encourage some skin to skin! And I would suggest asking your HV about Homestart too. Oh, and if you have a Surestart, they might do some positive parenting classes your partner, or you could attend if you chose to.

Becoming a parent is a shock to many, or most of us. If you are young it can be harder, if you don't have much experience of babies it's harder, spending time in a neonatal ward in hospital after the birth makes it more stressful.

Keep talking to your GP, and be honest with your HV. All the best.

Good luck poodles, I'd reiterate what some other people said about finding a dads baby group, maybe at a Surestart. And letting him do baths, and encourage some skin to skin! And I would suggest asking your HV about Homestart too. Oh, and if you have a Surestart, they might do some positive parenting classes your partner, or you could attend if you chose to.

Becoming a parent is a shock to many, or most of us. If you are young it can be harder, if you don't have much experience of babies it's harder, spending time in a neonatal ward in hospital after the birth makes it more stressful.

Keep talking to your GP, and be honest with your HV. All the best.

Good luck poodles - seriously would recommend contacting surestart - an allocated homevisitor could offer some supprt , look into dads groups, baby massage groups etc or just a supportope your situ gets better. My dh loved our dd in an instant bonded well, perfect dad , when our ds came along 4 yrs later although he loved him they just did not bond as well - he said his crying cut through him, i cam home xmas eve when he was 7 weeks old from christignle to the crys of my newborn, he was safe in the cot and my dh was sat on our bed - he said he could not do anything else with him and left him before he got really annoyed. After the new year things seem to settle more and dh was always the bath man and winding genius, he just had to support in other ways or when super cryinghewould take for a long walk. We got there and i really hope you do. DS isnow 4 and a complete daddys boy. Good luck they are hard work and tiring and sleep depravation is torture.