Another DickFace to Add to The Pile

[PfftTheMagicDragon]

....Of men that you thought wouldnever betray you but then did it anyway!

My DH has always been loyal. To a fault. Never cheated. Was cheated on in the past by girlfriends, worshipped the ground I walked on. Good sex life, with dry patches, we had started about a year ago to spice things up, toys, bondage.

Turns out, he's been internet flirting/sexting/fucking her on MSN!!

Delightful

It started 6 days ago. I have seen his phone. And the e-mails and a picture that they exchanged.

And now I am just like all the others. I did ask him how it felt - To be just like all the other cheating dickwads that I read about on here. If it was worth it, if he was thinking about what every other weekend would feel like when he was telling her how much he likes her wet pussy.

Super.

I'm angry, can't you tell?

My DP is seeking counselling atm, and selfish as it may be, I would feel really hurt and pissed off if he didn't touch on the issues that affect our relationship. Because it would be him prioritising other stuff over the more pressing problems (in your case, that his DW is seriously damaged and upset by his behaviour and may just fuck off at some point :().

I don't know the answer to your final question. But I am pretty sure that a key part of the recovery will involve you saying "you have to accept that you DID do A,B, and C", and him saying "I know, I'm sorry". Not fucking minimising.

I think he is labouring under the delusion that because those issues pertain to our relationship, he should speak to a relationship counsellor about them. And that we have to see that person together.

Elfpants....he has apologised, a million times. I know he is sorry. I am struggling to move on. To accept what has happened.

I am going to bed now, I do have more to add on the entitlement thing, but it will have to be tomorrow.

Thank you all (again!)

Hi Pfft. I don't know what the protocol with counsellors is, but are you allowed to see the same one as your husband? I was thinking that you could see them and tell them that your husband exploring his wider issues is not really helping your relationship and ask them to focus on the main purpose of the counselling. Or tell your husband that this is how you are feeling and get him to take that up with his counsellor. I'm presuming that the counsellor thinks it is all connected and will help in the long run. The counsellor, though is not living your life and can afford to take the long view.

Fwiw, I think it would be good for you to see someone together because you are still so angry (rightly)and I think your husband needs to hear the reasons why instead of living in his own little self absorbed bubble. I do think you would also benefit from speaking to someone on your own, because you need to come to a conclusion as to whether you even want to keep on trying.

So sorry that things are not going well for you

Hello Pfft.

I don't really know what to say, except that I'm sorry to see things aren't going so well.

Reading your recent posts though, it sounds a little like your husband is running out of patience a little? Does he know exactly how you are feeling at the moment? Surely he must realise that as fantastic as the NOT just friends book is, it's only a guide and there is no exact script for every relationship to follow.

I guess that you are now where I was (time wise) when I posted on your thread six weeks ago. Even though I wasn't feeling as bad as you seem to be now, I was wondering if there was any light at the end of the tunnel or if I would just feel like that forever (sad, very flat). Well, six weeks on and things are still improving. We still talk about it, if a question pops into my head about what happened then I ask my husband - no matter what we are doing or talking about at the time.

Sorry, this probably isn't very useful as I think we, as couples, have taken slightly different paths. I don't know about counselling but I'm sure that WWIFN will keep guiding you.

I don't feel I'm in a position to offer any advice but I am more than happy to talk about my experience if it helps in anyway.

Please keep posting.

x

Yes, it would be good to get an update from you Pfft, when you can.

Only saw this when WIFN bumped it today.

How are you, pfft ?

I am sorry you are still feeling so low x

sorry, when karma bumped it, I misread

How are you feeling now?

Best wishes