No ejaculations and runs off in the morning

[Thomcat]

That's the crux of the problem.

My bestest, oldest, dearest friend has started seeing a guy, 38 yrs old, and has so far enjoyed about a month of his company.

However there seems to be a few problems.

1. When he stays over, which is alot, every weekend so far and during the week, he wakes up & opens his eyes and within 15 minutes he's out of the door saying he'll be back in an hur or so, and he is, but why the running off.

2. They have had sex a fair amount. Possibly not quite as much as they could/should be having in the first heady days of a relationship, but an ok amount. He gets an erection but so far, in over a month, he hasn't come. She has, that's all fine, but he hasn't.

We know he likes a beer, probably a bit too much.
QUESTION: If he gets an erection but doesn't ejaculate is that a drink related problem, or not?
QUESTION: What else could be causing the lack of ejaculation?
FACT : He gets an erection but it's not like he's just such a stud he can go for hours and not come. I think, from what I know, he gets one but it doesn't last for that long.

I'm not sure what else to tell you, so ask away and I'll do my best to answer / find out.

Any ideas about this ejaculation thing and also any ideas about what she should do about his running off every morning for an hour? Is that related to the sex thing do you think, is he leaving before she gets a chance to get saucy with him?

Off to make Lottie lunch, be back to see if any of you wise women have any clues.

TC x

I mean you can speculate all you like but he has the answer - but even at the start of a relationship I thinkI'd be asking where he was going every morning - I think I'd ask about the ejaculating or lack of too - just go cautiously.

easier said then done I know but like I said he's the one with the answers!

of course - its doing a poo, surely.
but would that take an hour? where does he have to go?
do they never stay at his place?

maybe she could try feeding him a hot curry and prunes, and see if his going out habit alters.

I think he's either going off to finish it himself or it's a rather serious drug problem.

Both would be a nightmare ina relationship IMO.

(emmatmg)

I'm thinking along the lines of honesty and openess being v important in a relationship. So whatever the reason (could be a million and one) she needs him to open up to her about it. I would advise her to insist that he does so before taking the relationship any further. Otherwise your friend could get hurt.

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Re poo not taking an hour. None of you have met my DP obviously.

Don't think it's him though....

a not insignificant disadvantage in a husband one would have thought. An hour a day, every day...

As for the newspaper, well, Id tell him to keep it to wipe himself with, if it had spent an hour with him in the loo.

It's not good for your bowels though. It should be a case of sitting, pooing, concentrating on the err, job in had shall we say, rather then trying to complete 'Just one more' level on the PSP....

another vote for emotional problems and a poo in the morning. In fact possibly the emotional problems are connected with his inability to do a poo in his girlfriend's flat.

drink and drugs stop them from getting it up in the first place don't they?

some medication, like anti depressants for e.g. definitely effect a man's ability to ejaculate (but not get an erection). As for the rushing off thing I reckon probably the poo thing too.

mind you - like sobernow's marxist newspaper seller theory

is it always an hour exactly?

perhaps he rushes back to let the cat in? or tend to his sick and ailing mother?

Are many men really that hung up about the poo thing though? Thought that was a woman thing. I mean, men chat to each from their traps don't they? In fact, they poo at work in the first place

i popped onto mumsnet for something entirely different..but somehow got distracted by this!

it sounds puzzling alright! but nothing that mn cant get to the bottom of though,in my experience two best friends getting together to work out whats going on, ends up covering all possibilities but teh simplest

i went out with a guy who was taking antidepressants and he said they changed his ability to come 'coitus'...i also suspected that he had other emotional issues [my best friend agreed ]

anyway...what i really want TC is your recipe for chicken nuggets that you metioned months ago...im getting pre college prep fever.
fanks x

TC, you'll have to tell us what he's up to, when you know. I'm not that bothered about knowing why he's not ejaculating (and anyway, he may not know why), but where is he going every morning?

I did used to live with someone who could only really poo at home, I think. And only first thing in the morning. Whenever we went away on a trip, he would get crankier and crankier. It wasn't good.

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Haven't the faintest idea why he does this, but I do feel sure that if your friend doesn't feel she can ask him something as simple and basic as this and he won't volunteer the information, then this relationship is doomed. How old is she? Does she want kids? To get married/find a life partner? If she does, he isn't the right man and she should get out now.

dp suggests cleaning!

ie, not ejaculating could be about not getting "messy" and first thing in the morning he has to go and wash etc away from her...
almost ocd-like

what is he like when he comes back? she'd be able to tell if he had been drinking, or taking drugs.
is he clean and tidy? changed clothes? anything else noticeable?

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