No ejaculations and runs off in the morning

[Thomcat]

That's the crux of the problem.

My bestest, oldest, dearest friend has started seeing a guy, 38 yrs old, and has so far enjoyed about a month of his company.

However there seems to be a few problems.

1. When he stays over, which is alot, every weekend so far and during the week, he wakes up & opens his eyes and within 15 minutes he's out of the door saying he'll be back in an hur or so, and he is, but why the running off.

2. They have had sex a fair amount. Possibly not quite as much as they could/should be having in the first heady days of a relationship, but an ok amount. He gets an erection but so far, in over a month, he hasn't come. She has, that's all fine, but he hasn't.

We know he likes a beer, probably a bit too much.
QUESTION: If he gets an erection but doesn't ejaculate is that a drink related problem, or not?
QUESTION: What else could be causing the lack of ejaculation?
FACT : He gets an erection but it's not like he's just such a stud he can go for hours and not come. I think, from what I know, he gets one but it doesn't last for that long.

I'm not sure what else to tell you, so ask away and I'll do my best to answer / find out.

Any ideas about this ejaculation thing and also any ideas about what she should do about his running off every morning for an hour? Is that related to the sex thing do you think, is he leaving before she gets a chance to get saucy with him?

Off to make Lottie lunch, be back to see if any of you wise women have any clues.

TC x

Sorry that this is the outcome Gooneress. I think Aloha and Caligula are right tbh.

omg suew! did you see the list of books on "customers who bought this item also bought..."?
so sorry for your friend tc, i think we were all hoping it was poo related....

Oh Gooneress, I so recognise that feeling of 'not again, not again'. It is the pits, isn't it. I too would say get out now, only because I never did and I wasted lots of time not getting out - and was very miserable.

And then I very suddenly took up with someone I probably wouldn't have gone out with before and, hey presto, things fell into place and now I have two lovely daughters. You hang in there, honey, the world is not just populated with wasters, it really isn't.

the relationship has been very brief. i still think it could be nerves tbh. You all want your men to last in bed and then you moan if they dont come. he is most probably crapping it. Give him a break. i feel sorry for the poor sod. Not only is he having sexual problems but it has been broadcast amongst his friends and the internet aswell, must be nice for him.

As for his drinking, if he has a problem and you are his mates why dont you approach him about it? Alcoholism is an illness, help him get help if this is the main cause of his probs.

hope it all turns out well, i most prob havent worded this post very well as very tired so apologises in advance

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Hello laydess its's Gooneress here at Thomcat's house.
Still no further down the road to finding out why this lovely smiley, handsome, charming, intelligent (even through the Stella) great to dance with (so sexy on the dancefloor!), very funny and very sexy until it comes to climax moment has drinking, emotional and maybe relationship problems. The only way I'll find out is to jus come out with it and ask the guy upfront so thats what I am going to do before I give another bloke another chance to waste my more of my time and more of my emotional energy. When i have done that I will of course be straight back on here to let you know. I am not going to be seeing him till wed anyway and even then we are going to be with other people so it will prob be Thurs. Hopefully its all good and its all going to be down to the drinking and he's ready to address the problem and I'll help him, his libido will come bouncing back and its all good in the hood if not..... well we'll cross that bridge when we get to it!
If its another fish in the sea story I know I've got TC to make sense of it all and another bunch of nutters to make me laugh and give me virtual hugs. So either way its fine!!!
Lots of love and be back when my mission is acomplished.
G
xx

good luck Gooneress!

yes see youthurs

G here:
You're right he is an amazing person and thats why I will ask him in a very sensitive and caring way because I care about him and want to help him with any problems he may have.
Fio- It is only me and Tc (and u guys) that I have discussed and none of u know him so I am not aware his friends are aware of his problems.

Good luck G - and can I urge you to call Al-Anon before you talk to him about his drinking? Because chances are, he'll make you feel stupid for mentioning it and like there's something wrong with you, because that is mostly what alcoholics do when confronted about their drinking.

Al-anon will give you the confidence to know that you aren't being stupid, and therefore either the foundation to make this work if it's going to, or the strength to walk away if it's not.

al anon

Hope they help.

good luck on your mission G, plz let us know how you get on, i hope it turns out good.

G here again:
BTW u guys are very lucky to have TC in your lives. She really is one of lifes diamonds.
G
xxx

My view is he just doesn't fancy her and prefers drink/pooing.

Thomcat back and Gooneress gone home. He does fancy her Davros, she's never, ever had a problem with being fancied and if you knew what she was like as a person, what she looks like or anything about her you'd know why. Perhaps as she's feeling a bit upset about this relationship comments like that could be kept to a minimum, if that's ok?

B to me, G to everyone else, hope you're feeling ok by the time you read this agian hon', hopefully it's all going to be ok in the end, let's hope so aye chicken, but whatever 'he' has someone who cares and is close enough to see what's happening and could help him with whatever it is, and whatever happens, you've got me.

davros next you will be saying she has a bucket

thomcat some people just arent compatible thopugh, even if they are wonderful/gorgeous/witty etc etc. You are never fancied by everyone. Bloodyt hard situation to be isnt. hope everything has a conclusion and if he has a drink problem he gets help now whilst he is young

I agree some people aren't compatible, and perhaps he isn't head over heels and perhaps he's not really into having a relationship. That may all be the case. But she's quite into him and he seems into her, he sees her all the time, he's loving, attentive, showers her with kisses and attention, says lovely things, he's lovely, with her and in general. Hopefully together they can sort this problem out, whatever it might be.
At first we thought it was all a bit odd and couldn't understand why and didn't know how he could have sex but not climax and wereperplaxed as to why he never seemed to stick around in the morning but would then come back round a bit later. As it's gone on it's getting less strange and funny and more and more worrying.
I hope it is a silly poo problem and I think this thread has been great and funny and it's made B laugh and us, but at the end of the day she has to have what could be a really unpleasant, embarressing chat with him and she's dreading bringing it up but she has to.

I said that earlier Davros!!! (without the pooing bit)

Well that's equally helpful and amusing them isn't it JimJams.

oh fgs tc- I went out with someone once - he stopped wanting nooky- turned out he wanted to finish it. I haven't read the entire thread- I read about last Saturday's night out and it sounded similar. So I suggested that maybe he wanted to end the relationship and didn't know how to. It's a suggestion - made without knowing either of the parties involved. Maybe he has a drink problem (if he does best to get out probably), maybe he's nervous, maybe he has "issues", maybe he wants to crap in peace. It sounds as if she'll have to talk to him.

You obviously haven't read the thread properly, they've not long started seeing each other and like I keep saying the issue of him fancying her doesn't come into it. She's my best and dearest, closest friend and I'm incredibly loyal and it feels like a few people came over to this thred together woth 'oh get over it he doesn't like you' comments, when these are 2 people who seems really into each other but htere is obviously a problem that needs to be addressed. Like B and I have both said, yes she has to talk to him.
Anyway, if I'm going to get into this type of conversation with people I'll just stop posting about it all.

Thomcat what a lovely friend you are

I dont think its that unusual that this early into a relationship the man is being confusing. Every relationship I or any of my friends has had has a certain amount of "eh? what does that mean then"

I think men, without even knowing they are doing it start pulling back as soon as it is obvious that a relationship may form -I think its their way of having a good old think about what they want but doesnt feel good to be on the other end of it.

I actually {sad admission alert} read a sort of self helpy type book about dating and it offered an analogy something like this.

Think of him as an elastic band, after the first few dates they tend to pull away, if you leave them to it they will ping back and bingo you have a relationship. If however, during this pulling back phase you question, smother or pester him the elastic band snaps and its over.

Probably a complete load of bollocks but Im desperately trying to think of this situ as normal as Gooner sounds like she is really into him and he too sounds like he is into her.

Hopefully in 6 months time this whole thing will just be a little teething problem at the beginning of a great relationship.

The ejaculation bit I dont have an analogy for - but maybe the ejaculation and the distant behaviour bit have absolutely nothing to do with each other and can be dealt with seperately.

Lots of love goonder (and you TC)

It will all come out in the wash

Pecka
xxx

And I had just asked if it was possible to keep comments like that to a minimum as she's feeling upset about stuff and I don't want her to be hurt by unhelpful comments that aren't correct anyway. So was a bit taken aback when immediatley after the 'he doesn't fancy you' comment was reinforced. Anyway this is about a person very close to my heart and perhaps it's best I step away as I'm defensive over her, so...

Oh thank you for that peckarollover.

He rang her last night and while they were chatting he said he was worried she smoked too much! LOL