The Brave Babes Carry On The Charabanc Trip - Leaving The Booze Behind!

[Mouseface]

Hello and welcome!

This is thread number eight!

The Brave Babes are all at different stages of quitting the booze. Some have stopped, some are thinking about it and some are just cutting down.

They are full of support and wisdom for those of you wishing to climb aboard the Bus or Charabanc!!

The Babes aren't an exclusive club, they never judge and they don't charge for advice either!

So, come meet them. I'm Mouse, by the way, and I've been sober since August 2nd 2010, something I would never have even considered without the support of these threads.

Here are the first seven threads, if you want a bit of history.

JWN's original thread

Thread two

Thread three

Thread four

Thread five

Thread six

Thread seven

May I join in? Sitting on my sofa smelling of self pity and last night's binge with a hangover sufficiently bad that a Pret all-day-breakfast sandwich has not even made a dent. Keep thinking that the only thing that is going to take the edge off the paranoia, self-pity and, frankly, terror is a little top up.

Hello double join the club!

Tell us about you...
And make up your mind that TODAY you will not be drinking. Don't think about tomorrow

Hi double. You could have a little top-up, but I bet that would lead to another little top up and then another and ....

And tomorrow you could be posting as you sit on your sofa smelling of self pity and last night's binge, and wondering whether a little top-up would take the edge off your paranoia, self-pity and terror.

OR you could grab your terror in both hands, and do something really scary. You could say "TODAY I WILL NOT BE DRINKING". And then you could keep posting on here about how you feel and people would be here who undertand what you are trying to do. And then eventually you could go to bed.

And tomorrow you could (if you wanted) come and post on here, and say that you are on day 2... We'd be delighted for you, and you'd deserverdly be pretty pleased with yourself.

Now which of those alternatives sounds better?

Thanks MsGee. It's ggod to know I'm not alone. I am considering drugs.......

Double - we have one Double already, (Instructions) so can we call you DC please?

Thank you Christina and Venus, and please do call me DC (though judging by the crop of little wrinkles brought on by last night's intake, BC might be more apt).

I would say I have been a "problem drinker" for about a decade (I love that phrase), with some truly horrendous periods interspersed with periods of total abstinence and periods of thoroughly reasonable drinking (though I now know that the latter is probably not an option for me). I really did think I had this all sorted out after 18 months of very limited drinking, but I clearly overestimated myself as I appear to have defaulted back to drinking way too much about once a week. The binge is an attempt to achieve some respite from some pretty constant anxiety (I know, I know). But, for today at least I will try to face that without a drink.

Hey Double

Nice to hear from you

SAF - glad the docs was ok too.

Hello wow so many posts in 24 hrs.

Feeling low so will just say a hi to those who know me and welcome to those that dont.

Just had long chat with xh about divorce/money during the course of which he told he doesnt go out every night anymore and doesnt drink to the point of unconsciousness any more like he did for 13 years in our marriage. Great. Pity he couldnt have done it before leaving me and his 2 dc.

Didnt drink yesterday wont drink today. My life could have been so different if I was typing this even 2 years ago.

Lucil listen to them it wont stop or change unless you do something.

getting - hello lovely. Nice to hear from you when you're feeling fed up. It's good that you want to post still.

I know what you mean about your XH. Why didn't he do that for you and for the children? Save all of the heartache, splitting the family up etc?

Very unfair of him to rub it in now though. Grea the's not getting wasted anymore but still. He m,ade it sound like he was drinking because of you and his children.

Very mean.

Anyway, I'm pleased that you have not had a drink because of that. Small steps and all that. Glad you won't be drinking today too.

I'm back !

Hi DC - welcome aboard x

Hey Silver did you get everything you needed?

Quick question, will you be celebrating her birthday with a drink? Or did you in the past?

We did with Nemo's first as we didn't expect him to make it......not that I needed a excuse to drink!

Hey Mouse

I am not drinking today and don't intend to tomorrow - all her last birthdays I would have ended up blotto (not while kids still around) - not this time - I've pushed DP to the limit and know this is my last chance. I have had such a fab day today (not working) loads of energy cos no booze yesterday, so just enjoyed organising her party - which would have been a chore that got in the way of drinking - in the past.

Lots of cake though!!

And still got all food shopping still to do - got so entwined in this thread didn't get time - but plenty of time during day tomorrow. Also in the past I would have offered any adults a glass of wine ( in the days when the parents stayed when she was younger) - now I can see how bizarre that was - why would you have booze at a kids party?

Day 2 (AGAIN) of sobriety and I am enjoying feeling GOOD.

Thinking of you Luci

xxxxx

Hello Silver -- great to read about your energetic Day 2, which makes me think that if I can get through today without sipping on some Pity Punch, then I may be rewarded with a hopeful and productive day tomorrow. I have also realised that the stock of drinks that I like to keep handy for entertaining purposes when friends pop round so I can mix a drink for a visitor Mad Men-style has really just been consumed by me, and that having a drinks tray does not make me an adult. In my case, it makes me a drunk.

Hello Silver -- great to read about your energetic Day 2, which makes me think that if I can get through today without sipping on some Pity Punch, then I may be rewarded with a hopeful and productive day tomorrow. I have also realised that the stock of drinks that I like to keep handy for entertaining purposes when friends pop round so I can mix a drink for a visitor Mad Men-style has really just been consumed by me, and that having a drinks tray does not make me an adult. In my case, it makes me a drunk.

Hey DC

I don't keep any drink in the house at all any more - when I did it would never have been here more that 24 hours anyway - if I do drink now it has to be a conscious decision to go to the shop, or stop off somewhere on the way home - but my plan is not to, so that issue has gone away - for today at least! If you read some of my earlier posts you will see that I am on my third or fourth attempt to stop since April.

xxxxxxx

Just popping back in ,still not drinking .
There is no way I can catch up with all posts since I looked in a few weeks ago - but well done all.
I can just tell that I'm getting to the point where the memory of what happens at the end of the film is fading ...
Anyone else know what I mean?

Sounds like you are doing good Silver. At this stage, I don't think it matters whether you are on your 3rd attempt or your 6th. What matters right now is that you are determined not to drink today, that you can see the reality of your behaviour, and that helps you to plan your intention not to drink tomorrow. AND even though you've slipped, you do keep trying again, not just giving in and giving up.

DC oh yes, I had to keep topping up the wine rack that was only there for visitors and special ocassions. A drinks tray / cupboard is really only grown up when it is full of drinks, and mine never was (unless I'd just been to the shops and hadn't had time to open anything yet).

getting isn't it tough having the rational conversations with your ex, expecially the ones that you never seemed to have when you were together. After my exh and I split up he bought me a present to say 'sorry' for how crappily he'd treated me. When we were together he couldn't even acknowledge that any of our problems were his responsibility. Just be kind to yourself, indulge yourself in some comfort hot chocolate or a favourite dvd or a nice long soak in the bath.

ginger have a read of some of the posts on here. See how crap people feel the morning after, see how they feel they've let themselves down, and then consider whther you've ever felt any of those emotions.

Alternatively, you could go ahead and have a lot to drink, then tomorrow morning you could come on here and write down exactly how much you'd had to drink, how you felt like you couldn't stop even though you wanted to, how rubbish you feel, what your head feels like,, what you tongue feels like, whether you have any energy. Then the next time you were forgetting what the end of the film was like, you'd only have to read the post that you yourself had written.

But, you know what ginger I'm learning to learn form other people's experiences, and tonight i don't think I'm going to try that experiment for myself.

Come on, have a drink of something else, something that you really, enjoy. An ice cold coke? A hot chocolate with a flake and some cream? Because you DO know how the film will end if you have a coke or a cup of tea. You know that you will go to bed and sleep better, you know that you'll get up tomorrow feeling pleased that you haven't drunk. You know you'll enjoy coming on here tomorrow and not having the feeling of something to confess.

Ginger

Try watching other people's films instead ...

Hi DC. Weclome aboard.
Am still feeling pretty shitty. I don't want to go to the GP as (apart from having a rubbish one although I could change) is I don't want anymore medication and I don't want to go to AA.
I have never considered that I would ever reach a point where I have to stop altogether.
I think that stage was reached last night.
I am hopeful that I can do it on my own (with your support and DP's) but if I fail I will be heading straight to the doctor.
I wish I could bottle up the complete physical and mental pain I've gone through today with this hangover and bring the feeling out whenever I'm tempted to drink as a reminder of how truly horrendous the aftermath of a binge is.
Very sad and scared tonight.

"I wish I could bottle up the complete physical and mental pain I've gone through today with this hangover and bring the feeling out whenever I'm tempted to drink as a reminder of how truly horrendous the aftermath of a binge is."

You can. And, since you bring it up yourself, that is one of the purposes of attending AA.

However, unless and until that is for you, all you need to remember is that from now on, every time you do drink, you will get exactly the reminder you desire. So it really comes down to a choice - remember it before or remember it after.

No doubt that sounds glib - but as you come to realise that that really is all the choice there is, you will be amazed how easy it is to remember before rather than after.

In my honest experience the only thing that makes it hard is believing that there is an alternative.

Luci, if you can bear it write it all down. Write down everything that happened to you yesterday when you were drinking, and how you felt when you woke up in the other bedroom. then write down as honstly as you can how you feel today, physically and emotionally.

Put a big heading on the paper WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I DRINK

In a few days time, when you have been sober and have started feel better, write an alternative WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I AM SOBER and write on there every single good feeling (physically and emotionally that you have).

Stick the 2 lists somewhere like the inside of your wardrobe door. Then you can bring them out when you feel tempted.

And luci, if you look back over the threads, fortheverylasttime has posted lots of lists of other resources that could help. See if any of those suit you.

What about hypnotherapy. There are tracks that you can but online and download.

Do you have a local alcohol service. I googled my nearest town and alochol services and found a local alcohol misuse service. I din't need to go through my gp to use it and they had a drop in clinic where you can see someone within a week.

Ask your dh to help you find some local support. I bet it's out there.

Luci if you want to try hypnosis, then what about this website. You can buy the CD for £30.

Yes it costs money, and it might not work, but it will work better than spending the next £30 on booze.

And if that costs too much, there are free alternatives. AA, your gp, you local alcohol service....