The Brave Babes Carry On The Charabanc Trip - Leaving The Booze Behind!

[Mouseface]

Hello and welcome!

This is thread number eight!

The Brave Babes are all at different stages of quitting the booze. Some have stopped, some are thinking about it and some are just cutting down.

They are full of support and wisdom for those of you wishing to climb aboard the Bus or Charabanc!!

The Babes aren't an exclusive club, they never judge and they don't charge for advice either!

So, come meet them. I'm Mouse, by the way, and I've been sober since August 2nd 2010, something I would never have even considered without the support of these threads.

Here are the first seven threads, if you want a bit of history.

JWN's original thread

Thread two

Thread three

Thread four

Thread five

Thread six

Thread seven

I typed a longer post to you Christina. I lost it though.
If it's any consolation I have even less stability than you. We are living with inlaws and it's hell. We are in so much debt it's terrifying at times. I am facing repossession on my shared ownership flat. I don't want to turn this into a "Who has the shitiest life?" contest but please try and put it into perspective and take comfort in the fact that they called you back 4 times for this job. It must have been a close call between you and the sucessful candidate?
I know how it feels (too well) to try and drown your disappointment, pain and misery in drink. For me it never ends well.
I am going to bed now.
Look after yourself.
Night all brave babes. X

Thank you for all your posts

I feel like shit

I don't know what my use is, I really don't. It's so easy for others to say that everything will be alright but my experience is that things havne't been alright for about ten years. Before that, things were great. Really, it's just NOT GOOD.

How are you doing Luci? I do not envy you your inlaws!

It's been a difficult day for lots of people.
I wish I had that magic wand. The only thing to do is keep breathing and when everything is not so raw, start to focus on the positives.
Sorry that's all I have just now,
take care everyone
x

"I have royally fucked up my life."

I don't doubt it, Christi. I did the same to mine. From being an Oxford graduate and an assistant lecturer at Edinburgh Uni I ended up stacking shelves in Safeway - and envying the trolley boys because they got to go out and about and so could probably have nipped into the pub if they wanted.

Are you familiar with the phrase, "when you're in a hole, stop digging"?

Christi I'm gutted for you - know how much it meant to you. But I also know you went into that interview feeling good about yourself, and that was because you are talented and intelligent and loads of other things. You will find the right thing.

Please just hang on in there. Keep looking for other things you can do, get your cv out there, be inventive and imaginative, can you do a locum? can you freelance in your role? can you do anything in London (but based from home)?.

I'm in a rush at the moment but should get online tomorrow. And lets meet up when i get back. Jx

And drinking WILL NOT help

MIFLAW how do I stop digging? What do you mean?

venus I thought I really had bagged that job! I really did. I seem to have become hard to employ. I used to be headhunted... I am sad! let's meet up when you are back have a great time. And thank you for your help, it meant so much. Have a great time in delhi! Better than the rain here I hope!

hi!, just back from dinner out with dh, dd and her bf - dd is behaving like a spoilt brat right now and has given me indigestion! - dh and i have discussed her behaviour and tomorrow the shit hits the fan!, anyway, small problems compared to some!

CHRISTI! - you are about to have the benefit of my MANY years of grown-up wisdom!

im sorry you didnt get the job!, really!, thing is, you are now a grown up and responsible for your dcs, so, the ONLY thing you can do is pull yourself up, take it on the chin and get on with it!, i dont suppose for one minute that the last ten years have been total shit!, they cant have been!, how old are your dcs? - now, the thing is, self pity will not get you and your dh out of this mess!, have a bit of a wallow in it tonight, then get back on with trying to improve your lot tomorrow - i know it sounds like i dont care/understand, i DO, only too well!, 20 years ago i was in a very similar position - it does not last!, it will only last if you let it!, dont give up trying! you have been doing so very well, i am a huge believer in karma - YOUR TURN WILL COME!

wasindie, take a hug you daft bat!

I think I need to go away somewhere on my own
I don't think that I can manage to carry on

I had viral meningitis in 2008. When I was lying in A&E I couldn't see I couldn't move I was in so much pain. The doctors talked about me as if I wans't there and for a while it seemed like I wasn't going to make it because there was something wrong with my heart. I remember lying there, in the dark, because light was light a dagger, unable to speak or move, not wanting to die. Wanting to stay alive for my DD and DH. I will try to remember this. I desperately loved tehm at that moment.

"MIFLAW how do I stop digging? What do you mean?"

You stop drinking.

Completely.

One day at a time.

Assuming you haven't wheedled your way out of it after three consecutive such days, you will find that physically you feel better.

You then apply logic and common sense to your life.

For example, if money is an issue, you apply for each and every job available that you can do (note I do not say "that you like the sound of" or even "in your field".)

If your problems are in relationships, think to yourself, "how would I feel if someone did that to me? What can I do to make it right?"

And that's what you do, every day, until it gets better. Which it will, as long as you continue NOT TO DRINK and to focus on FACTS, not IDEAS.

You may find that this gets too much. That is what AA, counselling, GPs, and anti-depressants are there for - take your pick.

Drinking is digging. Stop digging.

Noted MIFLAW. Thank you

See you in the morning

Just warming the bus up for everyone. How is everyone feeling on this new day?
x

Morning everyone. Venus reporting in from an airpot somewhere in the world. I'm not a particularly nervous flyer but I have always used it as a great opportunity for having a nice 'relaxing' drink - where else do you see respectable people sitting in the bar before lunchtime? I was even offered a taster of whiskey before 8am this morning.

So today as I make my way through airport lounges and languish in the no-mans land that is air travel, I will not be drinking.

My eyes are completely swollen from crying. Otherwise fine. Drank half a bottle of wine so not tooooo bad but obviously would have been better if I'd had none.

venus you wouldn't believe the rain here! Have a good time.

morning all!, just click-clacking my heels to my special seat!

christi and saf - i find that life has 'peaks and troughs' for everyone!, unfortunaly you are both in a 'trough' right now - i know is sounds trite but honestly, these things do pass!, just give yourselves time, be kind to yourselves, try and stay positive and it will all come good eventually!

venus - i am !! , have a wonderful time!!, take loads of photos, im dying to see them!!

hippy, nice to see you this morning!

wont be about much today, another hellish day in teh office awaits me, buggerations!

see you all later!!

Morning all.

Christi - you know what you have to do. Enough said.

Red - have you got a phone sorted yet?

Wasindie - if I'd known you were up, we could've chatted! Nemo is teething and has a cold so sleep is no onger an option in the Mouse house. I feel like deep fried dog shite and have not a drop of alcohol in my system.

Basically, I know how you feel xx

It's Autumn!! Boots woman!

SAF - your posts really hit home for me yesterday, I can relate to a lot of what you said to Christi.

hippy - lovely warm bus today, thanks!! The weather here is dismal.

Breakfast then snuggling in my giant blue hoodie today. I need pain killers! OUCH!

Hello everyone I have missed.

Good morning Babes,

mouse - I still have no phone, argh! Well, I have a really shite old phone all ready I am just waiting for my flaming sim card. So annoying.

wasindie - the amount of time it takes for me to feel better depends entirely on the amount of booze last consumed. I can say that on Day 8 though I feel fantastic. My hair is shiny (not greasy from oozing alcohol), my skin has started to clear (not too red and blotchy any more), my make up is on (and not sliding off my face) and mentally I feel great. Sending sober & lovely thoughts to you today.

Morning to everyone else. Might nip over to the new thread! See you there!

Hi Mouse, sorry for your dreadful night
SwallowedAFly I know I'm not alone in this. I have very little support, and I know JWN that things by rights should get better but the problem is that for several years they have not. Yes, it's hard not to take it personally, father dying, friends dying, meningitis, miscarriages, redundancy, unemployment, ill health, PTSD, pre natal depression, post-natal depression, of course these things happen to everyone. I know that. I just can't bear the relentless nature of these misfortunes. What will make things turn around. I KEEP TRYING and it doesn't make a difference. It doesn't feel like there's a peak coming. I have been waiting for it for about ten years.

christi - I cannot begin to imagine all the shit you have been through. But look at it this way: you're still here, you're still fighting and booze will not make it better. I really, really feel for you x

For what it's worth Chris, I am very impressed you stopped at half a bottle.
I would have finished the bottle for sure then started on DP's cans of beers.
Am glad you're not feeling too bad physically today.