The Brave Babes Carry On The Charabanc Trip - Leaving The Booze Behind!

[Mouseface]

Hello and welcome!

This is thread number eight!

The Brave Babes are all at different stages of quitting the booze. Some have stopped, some are thinking about it and some are just cutting down.

They are full of support and wisdom for those of you wishing to climb aboard the Bus or Charabanc!!

The Babes aren't an exclusive club, they never judge and they don't charge for advice either!

So, come meet them. I'm Mouse, by the way, and I've been sober since August 2nd 2010, something I would never have even considered without the support of these threads.

Here are the first seven threads, if you want a bit of history.

JWN's original thread

Thread two

Thread three

Thread four

Thread five

Thread six

Thread seven

SAF well done for pouring down sink. have you brushed your teeth>?

Well done SAF for pouring it away. I bet that felt empowering.

SAF

Congratulations for pouring it down the sink.

however, I am a bit confused. I thought I understood that your main issue was about drinking wine and cocktails to excess in the evenings and at the weekend.

So why does auto-pilot encourage you to drink beer on a Monday afternoon?

Where are you going venus? Do you need vaccinations to come south of the border now ?? Hope its somewhere exciting.

hello to all Brave Babes, hope you are all ok. Busy as usual here. Been up to London (I feel so provincial) for a meeting which was a bit scary (not keen on leaving home town - although often not keen on leaving the house) but I did it! Had a lovely weekend, tiring but lovely. A few wobbles, I decided to drink on saturday night but DH talked me out of it. Am glad he did. I decided I had miraculously turned into a moderate drinker. I suspect I won't have and am not willing to test th theory right now!

Mouse having been up at 4am yesterday with DD and during the night last night, I feel your pain. Tell Nemo from me that Mummy needs her sleep!

Luci please ring the GP. That one step might mean a very different conversation with you DH tonight. Everyone has spelled out clearly what you have to lose, please, please make the call. I have no idea why you think you can do this yourself but so far its not going swimmingly is it? Please make that call. Honestly - you don't want to look back in a few months and think you could have avoided a lot of pain through one call. I know that life feels shitty now but honestly, it could get a lot shittier - and probably will tonight. You need help in RL - please get some. For you.

To everyone else, hello, sorry for lack of posts and input. Shuffle hugs all round

OK, since you've asked....

I am going to INDIA. Next week. I am very excited.

I am going because it is the commonwealth games in Delhi, then dp, dd2 and I are having a wee holiday - Taj Mahal, Rajasthan...

VENUS! WOW!

Luci and some ((( ))) too. That was my first tough love post and I feel bad now. Honestly, we are only being tough because we care and we can see that you are a lovely person in a lot of pain and distress who needs some help to fight this.

You can do it Luci
We are all here holding your hand

msgee lovely to see you, and well done for not falling into the trap of thinking you were a mederate drinker.

I've done that for many years. And I know that I am not. But each time I have fooled myself only to come back to reality via several painful hangovers and a load of self-pity and regret.

Venus!! No wonder you are excited. Hope the jabs aren't too horrible, remember lots of big arm circles afterwards!

I did have to giggle about your plans for India alongside the talk of SAF and myself feeling jittery about leaving the house. I had a detailed itinerary for getting a train and a short tube ride with DH on stand by for emergencies.

Venus Why are you having vaccinations?

msgee, the weird thing is that I am also a bit agoraphobic. I don't find it difficult to go to India, because I have a plan and a schedule, and a plane to catch (several) and an itinerary of things to do (I am at the Games in an official capacity - and NO! I am not in the wrestling team).

But even at the moment, I am avoiding going to the shops, and I feel a bit panicky at the thought of it. I am delaying it by convincing myself that I need to have a shower first, and I might just put it off until tomorrow, when I have to go out for a work meeting.

Silver - she's going to INDIA

SAF - well done for pouring it away. Is it worth talking to the doctor about drinking the beer before leaving the house?

MsGee - thanks. Sorry that you had an early start too.

thanks venus I think I would have done it but I told DH and he just yelled NO! I think the strength of his reaction shocked me a bit and I scuttled into the kitchen to get a glass of strawberry milk!

DH knows exactly how my mind works and had he said, no dear, not a good idea, I would have talked him round. I sometimes think that I am just like a toddler, pushing boundaries all the time.

SAF - good to hear

SAF Well done - and remember that if today is not the right appointment to discuss your drinking with Doc - for all they know you could have been out for lunch with friends - don't obsess about it - if now is the right time to bring it up then GO FOR IT.

Good Luck

xx

FORGOT FUCKING WRAPPING PAPER - GOTTA GO!!!!!!!!!

XX

Its funny how agoraphobia seems to be another common theme on here. I wouldn't class myself as agoraphobic, I just feel safer indoors in a nice secure space or places that I feel safe in and prefer not to go outside. Am terrified of driving too (although I have just started again).

Or is that the same as how I said I'm not an alcoholic, I just have an unhealthy, disfunctional relationship with alcohol that I don't fully control??

venus are you involved in 2012 too? I am doing some stuff on cultural olympiad at the moment. If not a wrestler, am wondering what other sports I could link you to - something that requires grace and strength. And a sense of calm. Will ponder.

Mouse have missed you, sorry I have not been around, things sound tough at the moment. I have a block of feta, grated cheddar and some bavarian smoked cheese in the fridge for you if you like? Sounds like you need some pampering?

The early start with DD was partly my fault. I am useless at ignoring her pleas to come into our bed, even though I know that she will lie there for 10 minutes, start prodding my face then race down the stairs in the dark. Had I told her to stop screaming and go to sleep and left her, she probably would have nodded off. I just can't bare the toddler rage in the interim.

MsGee - thanks xx

Do you have anything in the fridge that I can give to Nemo to make him sleep. It's not the lack of hours, it's the broken sleep.

It's like he's a newborn all over again!!

I am as bad with Nemo, it get's to the 8th or 9th time of me getting up to him and settling him back in his cot and I give up and plonk him in our bed, only for him to roam around it and wake DH.

It kills my pelvis to keep getting up. As I said before, thank God I no longer get pissed.

SAF

Fair enough.

You need to be aware (as I'm sure you already are) that "medicating" on alcohol will typically worsen anxiety and agoraphobia. I know it is MUCH easier said than done, but, aside from following your doctor's advice (which I am betting involves the instruction "stop drinking" anyway) the single biggest step that you can take in addressing these issues is NOT to drink.

Mouse (( ))

We had the same trouble with DD. She used to wake every 45 minutes, even when sleeping with us. She started sleeping better when she turned two but that only last 2-3 months and now she wakes through the night again.

I have had countless bits of advice on sleep. The tough answer is that he is just a bad sleeper (as DD is) and you have to adjust your life accordingly. DH and I used to have to make a plan every evening as to who would do what and set a shift so that we both got 4 hours straight sleep - taking it in turns just makes for crap sleep all round. And trying to make a plan at 3am just creates arguments.

We also did controlled crying with DD, not sure if that is feasible with Nemo though? For us it was the only answer in the end, although it was horrible. It did work but it doesn't take much to knock her good sleep - a cold, teething, people visiting, visiting others etc. Everything is an excuse for her to test the boundaries (although Nemo's problems may not be sheer wilfullness!).

I have also heard that protein is the key to getting them sleep but not sure how easily you can address this with his feeding? Also frequent waking is a sign of tiredness - they do one sleep cycle and then wake up because they don't know how to either self settle or they are so wired, they don't fully relax. I used to have to walk DD around for hours to get her to nap properly during the day. We had to sort her having one proper day time nap first, then the nightime sleeping followed that. But you basically need to devote a couple of weeks to doing it.

Obviously bedtime and nap routine important but we have a textbook bedtime routine and it still comes as a surprise to DD every night that she has to go sleep. I normally feel like slapping people that tell me to have a good bedtime routine. As if in 2.5 years of broken sleep, that hasn't occured to me.

A lot of people have told me to use drugs to break the pattern (for her, not me!) but I haven't dared.

Sleep deprivation is debilitating. I don't think I have felt fully awake since she was about 6 months old.