The Braves Babes Battle Bus - NOT stopping at the pub!!

[Mouseface]

Hello

I'm Mouse. I've been sober for over a month now, thanks to the support of posters on this and previous threads.

No matter where you are up to with your sobriety, you'll find someone here who has been in your shoes!

Come and meet the other Brave Babes........

And here are the other threads for those who want to read them.

JWN's original thread (and the reason we are all here!)

Thread two

Thread three

Thread four

Thread five

Thread six

oh venus!! my mum does this! she had a y2k cupboard, it was full of tins of lobster bisque and bottles of gin - that 'armageddon' passed and she then developed the 'osama' cupboard (she was expecting chemical warfare!)and she now has a 'recession' cupboard - this is still tins of soup and bottles of gin but she has also added paracetamol and loo rolls!

is it any wonder that i mutter?!

saf - DONT PROJECT!! worry about saturday night on saturday night or you are setting yourself up to fail!! thats not the right word, but you know what i mean!! a day at a time!!!, thats all you can do!

Night Babes, bed for me too. Hot chocolate in hand. Time to snuggle.

sleep well everyone, Mouse I hope your night is better tonight

Morning all! Nice evening watching that thing on BBC2 about boys/literacy avec milk + cheese on crackers.

Day 6 looms, and today I aint drinking!!

Made it .

SAF if I know what you mean when friends who you have always drunk with come into the equation.Not sure what I will do so a) sticking to the one day at a time rule and b)not asking anyone over at the moment.

Anyway I still cant believe I have elected to drive tonight its just too weird, I just pray I am not glancing at my watch every 20 minutes.

See you later and heres to another alcohol free day

SAF I totally understand what you mean. There is an expectation that you will drink because its part of the package and point of the night out.

I have been thinking about this and the crucial difference between me and my friends would be that I am drinking faster than them and would have had more before the evening got underway. My group of friends are big drinkers but I think they would be supportive of any opting out on my part because I think all of them are concerned at some level about their own intake and tbh have seen me too pissed so would understand why I am doing it.

Saying all that trying to imagine taking part in an evening with them and enjoying myself without alcohol is very hard. I suppose that will be where decision time comes in ie do you STOP drinking or can you enjoy the odd night with alcohol and leave it at that. As I think about what MIFLAW and Mouse have said I have an uneasy feeling that a night out drinking would provide some sort of justification for buying a bottle of wine the following day and hey presto.

Fortunatly I am billy no mates this weekend apart from tonight and I do have a handful of friends who dont drink and I already have them lined up for next week so for the time being I am safe !

SAF, I think what you need is a strategy. Last weekend when I had my blip I went out all gung ho about not drinking, I didn't have any sort of plan or fall back position and it ended very messily.

Tonight is my battle royale, for years I have always got home from work on a friday and got shit faced. It is very hard when you have such an ingrained association with a place/person/time.

Like last night, I cooked spag bol for tea. Now normally I use that as an excuse to knock back the best part of a bottle of red - you need red wine for the flavour don't you know .... it was amazing how strong the urge was as I was chopping onion and crushing garlic to nip out and buy a bottle.

I didn't though, and the spag bol tasted great, I wasn't too pissed to enjoy it and I don't feel rotten this morning.

I think what I'm trying to say is that we will face all sorts of tests and sometimes we can't anticipate them and we need to deal with them on an ad-hoc basis as well as having a plan in place too.

Sorry for waffling, but I think we all know exactly how you are feeling right now. You are not alone in this.

lowenergy - I know what you mean about Friday's. I usually open my first bottle as soon as DS has been picked up from school.

I've done a whole week and tonight will be a real test as I feel great, and could easily knock back one or two a few.
Last fri was Day 1 for me but only because I was so ill i couldn't even contemplate a drink, not even the ususal hair of the dog!

I'm off to my mum's tonight for her birthday and luckily I will be driving as she lives 1/2 hour away, although the temptation may be there upon my return.....

My plan is not to drink today.

Morning lightbulb (I can't call you low energy, it sounds like an insult!), and morning to getting and SAF

SAF isn't it interesting how much 'not drinking' can be likeable and enjoyable. I don't think that my friends have noticed that I'm not drinking as much as I notice it. I have found that for ME (my approach, not suggesting this for you or anyone else) is not to mention my drinking. Then to have either a 'pretend' drink e.g. Nothing and Tonic, or if its wine - to accept a glass, carry it around with me (take it to the kitchen etc as I normally would), and dispose of it discretely. I have found that after they have had the first couple of drinks, no-one else is caring what I drink anyway (then it is easy to have a fizzy water - 'cos I've got a bit of a headache), and also that by not being public about my not-drinking it doesn;t draw attention to it, and no-one has tried to persuade me.

Getting I know what you mean about ENJOYING yourself when everyone else is drunk - it can be pretty tedious, but it can also be quite funny, and it reminds me what an arse I made of myself. Actually, I am not sure I ENJOYED myself when I was drinking either, I was just too drunk to notice.

Morning lovely Babes!

Well done to everyone who made it through the evening. Another sober one here I am on Day 7 and (as usual) my skin has erupted. Gah! Another wonderful thing to come from sobriety is lovely soft skin so I just need to get past the spotty stage and all will be well!

How's everyone doing this morning? (Hello to venus, munky, lightbulb, getting and SAF! Nice to read your posts this morning.)

Hello.

I am super tired again this morning. Nemo is still not sleeping great. Once he was awake, I was awake long after he fell back to sleep.

Well done all of those who have stayed sober!!!

Don't worry about it being Friday. It's just another day. Same as yesterday and same as the day before.

"that's my safety net i guess. that i have been in these places but i've never stayed there iyswim."

To continue you analogy, that's fair enough - but even for tourists these places are well off the beaten track ...

RedM - I don't get spots, but when I stop drinking I bloody put on weight...unlike everyone else who loses it!!!

Mouse - I think a powernap is in order for you (if you can get one)

I went to the supermarket this morning and nearly wibbled by the wine section....but I spent all my wine money on posh coffee, bubble bath and expensive hair stuff.

This weekend I am going to have the kind of (term time)weekend that I normally imagine that I will have...sipping said posh coffee, cooking lots of nice stuff, eating lots of nice stuff, watching some good films with the kids and DP.

My normal weekend vision includes all the above and a spot of wine here, or a dash of gin there.

The reality is getting drunk on a friday night, writing off saturday, feeling too tired/ill to cook/eat/do anything and then wasting sunday afternoon/evening drinking wine whilst doing the sunday roast.

I think I've identified why I put on weight when I stop drinking...it's all the cooking/eating isn't it?!!

"know what that'll mean."

SAF - it'll only "mean" that if YOU let it.

alternatively, if I have misread the situation and this woman actually wrestles you to the floor, holds your nose till you are forced to open your mouth and then pours the wine in through a funny, you don't need Oprah to tell you that she ain't no friend of yours.

But I'm guessing I was right the first time.

MIFLAW how did you deal with the social side of drinking ?

Do you continue with the same people and pastimes but just adjust to it as a non drinker or did you get a whole new life?

I need my friends very much as I am still in recovery from my husband leaving me and I know I could start flower arranging classes in the evening but it doesnt interest me at the moment. As I said I think they would be supportive of me abstaining but I just think I would be jealous and knowing the lovely relaxing effect of a few glasses of white I would be in hell not taking part.

As I type this I think I can anticipate your response but I know its early days but I cannot get my head around never drinking again. Its ridiculous though because it was mine and my husbands in particular drinking that destroyed our marriage thats my confession.What else am I waiting for to happen to tell me to stop

Hello getting,

I think that the received wisdom on this is to 'change your playground and change your playmates.' However, I have kept most of my friends from my drinking days - the only ones I know longer see are the ones who couldn't handle me not drinking. Most of my friends are true friends who are happy to see me address my problems. I prefer to see friends for a meal or a coffee and avoid being in situations where they are getting drunk. I don't mind being around people who have a couple of drinks but after that I don't like it. (What a bloody hypocrite I am!!!)

Do not even try to get your head around not drinking forever. You will hear it over and over again but here goes again: one day at a time. Today you choose not to drink, just for today.

Not sure if this will help at all - bit of a ramble!

Morning to MIFLAW and mouse too!

Morning everyone, sent to doctors yesterday and almost chickened out but luckily I had taken Mouse's advice and wrote out how I was feeling, doctor put me on anti depressant and am now on waiting list for counseling.

desire - well done! That's fantastic. (Good advice - again! - mouse!)
How are you feeling today desire?

Meant went to doctors not sent:)

Maybe 'sent' yourself to the doc's