Hi all and welcome Romney,
things seem better the next day don't they. There's something about the middle of the night which can make everything seem extra dismal. I didn't realise you have a muscle disease, even more reason to look after yourself (you are so beautiful, if you don't mind me saying) There, said it, it had to be said. I speak as I find.
Getting, I know what you mean, me and XH didn't have the same tv tastes so I always watched by myself, appart from a few good comedies which we always watched together and I really cherished those times. I can't watch them anymore as they make me feel too sad.
I don't think I've ever been gazed at adoringly ! Don't think I'd want to be as I'd have to gaze adoringly back. All cringey !
Adore yourself, it's a great gift you can give yourself.
When H left, my friend was desperate for me to meet someone else and said to me "you've got so much to give" and I said "I know but I don't want to give it to anyone, I want to keep it for myself".
That's still true. I don't mean to sound big headed and I think the same for all of you dumplings but I really really love me, I make myself laugh out loud and cry, I surround myself with beautiful things (on a shoestring), I've got my lovely dog, my lovely DC, my friends, my work, telly in the bedroom with sky plus (pure joy 
)have enough £ to get my car serviced or go to the cinema or whatever, grow flowers in the garden, I makes cakes and try and be kind to myself and others. The other day DS2s friend(17) said "ahh Pink, you're the best mum in the world".
I've realised over the last couple of years what a bloody amazing woman I am and I've also learned that after years of being conditioned not to blow one's own trumpet (maybe it's an English thing) that if you don't blow your own then no one else will (sounds rude).
What I'm getting at Getting et al is that there are not many men worthy of me. (it's taken me a long time for me to be able to say that, It totally goes against the way I was brought up, hence no self esteem till now ans even now it's a struggle).
They're mostly ime needy tossers looking for women to massage their egos and other small parts and I'm very happilly not going to do that ever again.
Getting, cellebrate the fact that you're tosser free and have the freedom and means to curl up and watch scd or whatever with your favourite girly cushion and blanket and hot choc without some wanker undermining you.
Love youself and count your blessings, that's what I do, it makes all the shit, of which there is heaps, much easier to deal with.
Off to do some chores, crbat (can't really be arsed though) so might have a small kip instead. Waited up till 3.30am for DS2 to come home last night only to b told this morn that he'd come back at 2. Cross I was.
Babies keep you up all night crying etc but teens keep you up all night with worry....not that xh was ever awake with worry though. WANKER.........
xxx