ALL NEW Road to Recovery for the Recently Ditched No.7

[startingovernow]

Dearly Be-Chucked, we are gathered here today because, for whatever reason, our man has dumped us!

Whether you are a new dumpling or a vet, feel free to join us in our quest for serenity. ...........

Ooo Patience, ROFL at that , I aspire to be that lady also.

Oh dear, lost my boss today [feeling vulnerable emoticon]

sov when i found out about OW for definite it was relief mixed with jealousy.

relief because it meant that i could understand why all this shit was happening and after reading so many posts over time on MN by putting h into this category of the man with ow it meant i could almost predict his behaviour i felt a lot more secure in a perverse way it also made me feel so much stronger and resolute in my actions.

jealousy as well of course - that needs no explanation.

lc - ow sounds vile; glad you are finding the strength to be detached from it all - it is horrible when the tears start god knows i can vouch for that - luckily h seems to have stopped the woe is me act.

tea - i like the fact that you are pensive; it makes you mysterious

pink -LOVE the inbetweeners, LOVE IT !!!

happy - hope you are feeling better, lost you boss ??? that doesn't sound good

patience - hope everything is going well with your new venture - sending you uber positive vibes on that one !!totally agree with you about ow helping to cut the ties that bind!!!

hope you are ok getting

starting - hope you are feeling better - sorry to hear you are getting worse and hope those pjs are comfy

well house is all packed up -very odd and eerie no pictures on the walls. move out on Monday. i am numb about it - i feel i have no tears left.

a few very odd things have happened to me over the past couple of days that has made me think that the universe/god is watching over me, i now know i am doing the right thing by letting go.

Hmm, ladies just imagine an OW meet up. What a sad affair. Fabulosity would be non existent I think.

ewwww what a horrible thought Happy !!

i would quite like to be a fly on the wall

Oh, I'm definitely going to offer to do the catering for the OW meet-up

oh ! btw lc wanted to say to you that i am starting to see some of that strong bond that the dcs and i will have in years to come - we had tea tonight and we really chuckling just the 3 of us and it felt so nice and relaxed.,, it felt right ifyswim

Armbow, the nicest and funniest thing is that when they are older they will remember things that you thought were completely forgettable. My older 2 tease me about how I used to make them share a can of coke for a really special treat and how they spent about 5 minutes checking that it had been poured evenly. It's a family joke now but times were hard back then .

Waves to all........

Well good news is that temp has finally started to drop & thankfully I am slowly returning to my full faculties .

Pink at my drama laden fever tales but glad I gave you a laugh anyway

LC, that just sounds really sad. I wish these men could learn to think with their heads instead of their d**ks & realise the pain & devastation they cause to everyone by their actions.

Sov, hope you are doing ok (())

Happy, sounds like an unsettling day on top of your illness (())

Patience, wishing you much fun with being the "the interesting cool as fuck lady "

Armbow, really wishing you all of the best with your new move. Your strength & positivity are an inspiration. You will indeed have great joy with your dc's .

Tea, likewise you are a woman that has been an inspiration in the progress that you've made in such a short period of time. Congrads on the thumbs up from your counsellor

Getting, hope the job applications are going well.

Mumfun, hope you're on the mend again.

Well a bit of news from the Starting quarters!! Xh wants to meet next week for separation negotiations!! Will be v interesting indeed I can imagine & will of course also open up the whole issue of access again I guess

On a lighter & funnier note ds ran into me today crying & said youngest dd was always breaking his feelings. Had to stay serious while I sorted it out but I'm still smiling over it

Oh, and also on a funny note later on ds asked me "who are you going to marry next mummy??" . Youngest dd then asked me if I had a baby in my tummy . Oh the joys of dc's, they never fail to give me a laugh........

Armbow, missed the bit about you moving on Monday. I'll be thinking of you. Such a big, positive step for you.

I agree startin dd cut her own fringe again .i found it on the carpet,she told my mum that her hair had broken !

Lol Patience, I haven't had that one to contend with yet

Evening.

Happy what do you mean "lost" ? Hope you are feeling better.

Tea sorry you are feeling a bit cynical/negative. I am not surprised your counsellor has shown you the door you sound like a wise old owl on MN and are very together in person

LC well well that all sounds like high drama obviously your xp who has been at great pains to keep everything about split etc quiet has had to face up to a few home truths at work and then from you too. No wonder hes sheepish with a tear in his eye. I expect you feel better for letting a bit of that out. Er yes you can do the catering at the ow party but nothing from Waitrose ok ?

AB glad xh has switched off the waterworks , hes probably too busy fretting about the imminent arrival of his friend. So everything is packed up god it must be hard but I know how much you are looking forward to your new place. Even so the next few days are bound to be quite emotional. What funny things have been happening ? [nosey emoticon]

Patience hows everything I may have missed it but what happened about that place you were going to rent unseen - did it turn out to be ok. True dumpling power setting up your own business , who is the guy in your sights ? Now remember what they say never mi business with pleasure

Sov I would be jealous before asking any relevant questions! Hope your place is still spick and span.

Well my day has been a bit nothingey really, been on the phone to cousin for 3 hours talking things over she seems a lot better today tg.

Had email spats with xh on and off all day , its right at crunch point of whether we will settle matters between us or go to war and relations have declined considerably in the last couple of days. All to be expected and it will pass of course.

Feeling a bit lonesome tonight dc with xh and I just feel a bit odd really could do with a sneak viewing of next weeks Inbetweeners

Waves to Starting Mumfun Pink and everyone

Hey all, glad your all starting to feel better

Im quite concerned sort of re my feelings about XP and OW, doesnt sound like same one as when we split, this one sounds different but i dont feel the emotions i thought i would

I feel resentment that he gets to do what he wants while im sat at home looking after our DC but thats a feeling ive had for about 3 yrs now anyway

Im thinking not seeing him has helped a great deal and i dont know how i'll be if/when i do see him but i think the way he's treated the children and the things he said to me may have killed my feelings for him it very strange as i loved him so intensly but i dont even miss him now, im just getting on with my life and looking to my future IYSWIM

I feel like not much in my life has changed from before the split apart from the sex but i've rectified that now and took a leaf out of Patience book and bought myself a RR :o

im so confused over it all

good luck with the move monday AB, i cant wait to move but it's not going to be till next year sometime :(

Patience, yay new man in your sights and definately play it cool let him do the running :o

LC, does it feel better now that people know about the split? and im glad you got everything off your chest finally, i dont think they realise just what damage they cause sometimes

Getting, i hope things dont go to war for you and you get everything you want, he should just give you whatever seeing as it's his fault your in this position, i think all our X's should do that just for being twunts to us :o

Happy, hope your ok

Starting our DC are all so innocent and really do say the sweetest things sometimes :o and good luck with negotiations (())

I really relate to a lot of what you say Sov. I'd forgotten some of those feelings already I felt that way a lot too.

Purchased an RR? LOL

Fly by visit really. Girls just gone, but I second gettings questions for some of you ladies

new man patience???? - going to re read must have missed that !!! I want one too !!!

well ladies in answer to your questions here are few instances over the last 48 hours that made me think yup i am on the right path.

1. i am not overtly religious but have a copy of the bible for the tough times! when i think i need it i always open the bible at a random spot and read the first passage that i see. last night i did this and the passage was about adultery and how adulterers were not suitable partners it went on to say that we need to be true to ourselves and we will find happiness.

2. was in tescos today and saw a couple looking all stressed. she was moaning at him because he was texting on his mobile
   her "who are you texting"
   him ...looks shifty "nobody special"
   her ...sarcastic "your mum again?" storms off.

i picked up a pack of nappies and walked off with a wry smile.

3. h tells me (again) that he is regretting impending holiday with ow and that he envies my togetherness - i told him i was learning from his mistakes . he then tells me that i seem to be so much happier now - i told him that was because i am

over the past few weeks i have felt me returning to my old self - the way i used to be before all the hard times started and i really really like it,

hope you had a good night tea.

Re bloke might not be anything at all but good chat and i really liked his ideologies man quite refreshing tbh Nothing to do with business.

Business is imminent having a good clear out of premises 2morrow [well beginning to clear it out]and i have a friend who is going to help with the energies.

House still in limbo middle of OCT b4 i will know 4 sure ,cutting it fine,handed in dried pasta for school harvest festival this morn ds thought it was his snack when i reminded him he had a pkt of macaroni in his bag,asked me if i had put anything else in his lunchbox,anyway donations are for the homeless so hope i dont end up eating my own pasta end of OCT.Sure it will be cool have informed the dept at the council that deals with these things so worst comes to the worst we will have a roof over our heads.Have handed it all over to my higher power and not stressing.

Congratulations on ur purchase Sov ,Enjoy !

Well done tea re counselling hope ur studies are going well!
AB ru still writing?
Happy hope all is well x
Waves to Pink Mumfun and all other dumplings x

yes patience, still writing got another job today in fact

"he then tells me I seem so much happier now - I tell that was because I am "

Thats fantastic AB and I love the omens! What writing do you do then ?

Love the black humour re eating your own pasta Patience and your ds thinking it was his snack. Thank goodness dc arent at Primary School now the Harvest assembly always made me cry for some reason.

Starting are you ok now ? That should be interesting with xh how do you feel about the possibility of access? I picked up some of the issues on previous threads but not all the ins and outs.

Well I am awake very early so want to have a day where I feel like I am getting stuff done. I went to look at a house with a friend for her last weekend shes not interested but I think I am going to take a look for me. It would be perfect, a great spot and a big 3 bed house compared to most. The downside is it needs a huge amount of work doing. I have done this twice with similar houses but of course with xh in tow and not working and generally far more secure all round. I cant stop thinking though about the potential and how I could make it my own and so few like this come up that I could afford. I suppose going back for me will give me a clearer idea.

I am really struggling at the moment to get to a place where Patiences blogger on the link is ie serenity. I am normally good at smelling the roses and focusing on the good things in my life. Instead I am consumed with pending settlement stuff. After this I will go on the link again to try and regroup

Its my weekend to have the dc so I really want to spend some proper time with them . They are always out and about in town or something which is fine but thinking of Cornwall and us doing stuff together I can see how we dont do it at home. Perhaps a nice educational trip to a museum in London

DD and I will however be doing something very important this weekend - watching Strictly Come Dancing which I love. Ah yes to be held close and whirled around a dance floor while being gazed at adoringly and dressed to kill. Any other dumpling Strictly fans ?

Waves to everyone see you later

Morning lovely ladies.

Think I am getting better health wise, need to pop and be checked out this am, so fingers crossed. Boss is being let go from company so v sad, was a . He is good old friend who employed me when all was getting smelly at home and I am very grateful to him. Also means of course dealing with the unknown
of the new boss flying in.

Well I have never been that keen on RR's (repressed), but I will go online when I can and look for BOGOF deals. I guess the serene smiles of the Dumplings must be caused by something.

Getting, lovely to hear you getting excited about a house. I need to get to that stage.

Patience, how lovely to meet a new potential bloke.

Sov, you seem to be doing really well and moving forward, I agree that it helps when you don't see them

Starting, hopefully you will get up and feel fabulous again today. I think the lack of sha**ing could start to take its toll soon.

Tea, I would like to satisfy your nosiness emoticon feeling by confessing that I have been having some long chats with musicman. It is pure friendship, nothing more, but lovely nevertheless. I don't really understand it, we seem to be able to talk about just about anything and I think it is helping me on my journey.

AB, writing? I think btw that your XH's OW visit will end in disaster (for him).

Waves to all present and lurking.

happy glad to hear you are feeling better - sorry about your boss he sounds lovely.

I have always wanted to be a writer and when h left it inspired me to start it

the writing means i can spend time with the kids and be there for pick up and drop off time. it is mostly web content/ articles that sort of stuff. (although you would not know it from my awful tying on this thread )

getting - don't give yourself a hard time about your serenity right now, the legal part is crappy, very all consuming and you need to get it over and done with, i found it really really stresses me out and clouds my day.

i have a party tonight and i am going on my own - everyone else i know who is going are in couples. i am nervous.

oh another thing that i heard the other day was that everyone has 2 angels. A guiding angel and a nudging angel. the guiding angel will try and point you in the right direction in life and if you don't follow the right path the nudging angel will step in and "nudge" you in the right direction

my nudging angel had to take charge with me i remember about 2 years ago when things started to go wrong with h i was in the gym and i was reading the notice board. i saw a house to rent and my mind filled with thoughts of me taking the kids and renting the house - at the tie the thought shocked me to the core but now in hindsight it was probably my instincts (or my guiding angel ) telling me to run for the hills

i thought this was a nice concept.

Yes it was mentioned to me AB that the angels had been shouting to me for so long and i wasnt listening to them re all the negativity in my life ,that they had to throw a ruddy great boulder in my path to make me change my path ie,change relationship,change career and change house ,makes a girl think ........