The painful frustration of being attracted to someone

[garageflower]

Am currently taking a break from men (after some great advice on here and in real life) but have developed a painful and infuriating crush on a work colleague.

He has a girlfriend and I know nothing would ever happen, we don't chat that much anyway but oh I just want to lick his face, make him Lemsips when he's ill and generally just have sex with him.

Grrrrrr it's like being a schoolgirl again

Anyway, just ranting really, it's not often I am very attracted to someone - crushes are bizarre.

arf!! at lick his face!!

I really, really do. And I want to wash his clothes and sort out his socks into pairs.

When he brews up for his team, he wshes and dries each mug and he is so thorough.

I have started avoiding him now as I am getting to ridiculous stage of obsession.

You need a good lie down sweetie (but not with him)

Lazarus - I know, it's made worse because I very rarely have this animalistic lusting after someone and it is seriously driving me bananas.

In my head, he is a fantastic lover. And he's so shy, damn his girfriend is a lucky lady.

all that ocd cup wiping will end up driving you insane! you will be screaming 'just rinse the bloody thing under the cold tap, like a real man'

I can't believe anyone would ever fancy someone so much they want to pair their socks for them

I, too, have an unrequited (I think) crush and have to rein myself in as I'm certain he knows I fancy him and he's obviously not going to do anything about it plus I have "sort of DP". It's a bloody nightmare, isn't it?

What jesuswhatnext said he will drive you nuts if he does everything like that, could you really really be attracted to a man who would probably want to fold up his jeans/tshirt/socks before he lept into bed?

I know that feeling, garageflower - apart from the sock pairing cravings, that is.

What would you do if you found out the crush was requited?

I only ask because this happened to me. What I thought was an insane, unrequited crush turned into a totally requited almost-full-blown affair.

Anyway, I can relate to your feelings. Simulataneously amazing and maddeningly frustrating feelings. And, oh yes, they are totally amazing in bed in your head.

How much do you think about him?

LOL at OP

This is very funny

I'm sure it is too, too painful for you Garageflower but for the rest of us it is brilliant.

(sorry)

Oh, I'd love to feel like this again! There's nobody good-looking/sexy where I live!

Same problem here. Driving me bonkers. Nothing will ever happen though. Just wish I could just shag him and be done with it, because you build them up so much in your head, don't you, imagining how fantastic it would be, and I know, for a fact that it actually wouldn't be, then I'd be bloody cured of this ridiculous crush.

Will sign up
not really a sex thing just a painful mid life crush
we are both single and personally besides being apathetic I have had enough break ups

Good to know people share my pain.

My colleagues (who are probably sick to the back teeth of hearing me squark on) are desperately trying to make me see that his mustard yellow cardigan isn't attractive (it would look attractive on my floor - well folded up ) and that he is clumsy (spilling his fruit salad all over the carpet and that all the associated problems that were pointed out earlier re the mugs.

BUT

I want him What's really depressing is that I thought he wasn't in today and I felt really deflated. Then he came in and I felt really happy. Then I realised that he's hardly going to tell me that I'm the one he wants to roger all over the office - we might exhange a few words - but really, I am pathetic aren't I?

MabelMay - If crush were requited and he were single than I assume all of my sensible man-free mantras that I am hoping to stick to will go out of the window. What happened with yours?

Thanks guys, for responses so far - you have to laugh!

slightly questioning your taste after the introduction of the mustard cardi..

i fancy a fella at work too - he has to come and see me at least 3x a day as i am the proud holder of the stationary room key .. little does he know i am sloooowly reeling him in

Kallima - yep even the mustard cardigan endears him to me.

Ooooh what's your guy like?

These men are not familiar with out seduction techniques. Yours is stationary key, mine is compelete avoidance

mine is young and v v fit .. he does his hair in a pointy spike a la beckham (which, considering this is an accountancy firm, is a vast improvement self-care-wise on any of the other men)!

and he has nice soft brown eyes [swoon].

however i have been told he is seeing the bosses daughter.. the biatch!!!

boss's even. lol

Oooh the cowpat!

Eurgh, was having lunch before when he came in - someone asked him something about his girlfriend and I had to get out.

Oh god, I'm going to have to move jobs

How to get over this? Because I don't think am getting under?

garageflower - you're lucky that you at least are single...
The thing with my crush (I still have it I'm afraid) is that I stopped anything before it could begin as I'm in a long-term relationship with two young kids. It's all very recent and raw and I still think about him every day.

So I like to vicariously relive the pleasures of painful/amazing crushes through other people's lives! Hence here I am lurking on your thread enjoying every moment of your mustard cardi fetishising.

I can relate to your moods being affected by their presence/absence. Every day I knew I was going to see crushee I was so buoyant, so bloody happy with the world that I was nice to everyone. Now I'm just a moody cow again.

Keep us posted. MMx

garageflower - have you tried flirting with him? see what bites...
he's not married, after all.

This won't help but Peggyseviltwin is exactly right.

If you shag your crush it sorta deflates it somehow 9/10.

Recently happened to me and he was driving me to distraction until I got him in the sack. He was pretty good.

But no where close to what I'd thought he'd be.

Crush deflated. Problem solved.

I'm having this today too1 Argh! Mine is slightly better b/c he's someone I've been dating for 3 months or so and who professes to really like me. (Sorry - I hope that doesn't sound like I'm all smug.)

Thing is, up till now I've been relieved and happy that, while I like him a lot, I'm not all obsessivesly-thinking/checking my phone all day/snogging the pillow/losing concentration on other stuff. And today I COMPLETELY AM!

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. I hate this feeling. I HATE IT.

So - sigh - I know exactly what you mean. Shame you left as he was chatting about his GF though - he might have been saying, "God, she's a total PITA and I'm going to dump her tonight."

def true re deflating after shag action.. i shagged a bloke from work after 18 MONTHS of casually lusting after him.

was absolutly awful. still feel queasy when i think about it

Mabel - haven't tried the flirting thing - I cannot flirt in the conventional sense, really. But I get the impression he is a 'good' guy, plus he's quite shy too. Your situation sounds difficult, it's so depressing isn't it? How did it make you feel towards your partner? Do a lot of people have these sudden crushes that refuse to budge?

So I don't think shagging him is going to be a feasible solution to my problem

Beautiful - am really jealous of you but yes, that feeling when you find that you really care what they're thinking/doing is a scary one.

Kallima - was it really that bad??

it transpired that, because he was so shy, he needed to have about 8 pints to even create some conversation. and then about another 8 to take it any further.

not sure a 16-pint shag is ever going to be memorable for the right reasons!!

plus he didnt look at me once during the deed, let alone give me a kiss or anything that might remotely have made me feel like i was an active participant! euch!

(i'm embarrassed to say i even gave him the benefit of the doubt and went back for another go. nope. same.) lesson learned.