The painful frustration of being attracted to someone

[garageflower]

Am currently taking a break from men (after some great advice on here and in real life) but have developed a painful and infuriating crush on a work colleague.

He has a girlfriend and I know nothing would ever happen, we don't chat that much anyway but oh I just want to lick his face, make him Lemsips when he's ill and generally just have sex with him.

Grrrrrr it's like being a schoolgirl again

Anyway, just ranting really, it's not often I am very attracted to someone - crushes are bizarre.

You post flippantly about your married or involved crushes on a board where many, many people come for support and advice on surviving the effects of infidelity. Don't be surprised when it grates.

Yup, you probably don't love your H enough. Or maybe he doesn't love you as much as you do.

Raw today. Can you tell?

People have crushes. It's normal, and I think it can be good to let it out, it helps them go away, you can laugh and see it for what it is.

When you bottle it up it can make it seem something important and big and you start letting it out to THEM, and everyone's vulnerable to a bit of flattery, and then you can get a bit of flirting, and then it can all start to go wrong.

Expose it to the fresh air of ridicule and it sort of shrivels up a bit.

though robber I'm sorry it's very close to the bone for you

I can see that

Appletrees thanks, if I had any sense I would stay away from threads like this, I know crushes happen to everyone (I get them too) and I agree with your post 100%. Talk about it (NOT with them) laugh about it, don't give it headspace and hopefully, like Mymblesson's, it will disappear in a puff of smoke (as opposed to disappearing in a puff of smoke after you've wrecked your relationship for it).

As you were, ladies (just be careful).

don't give it headspace and hopefully, like Mymblesson's, it will disappear in a puff of smoke

That seemed much the best way to deal with it. I mentally rolled my eyes at myself for being ridiculous, took the piss out of myself a bit ("She's 26. How could you even consider fancying someone who's probably never heard of Joy Division?") and just rolled with it until it went away.

I'm in this boat...and I'm a man too! :o

Where I currently work there is a senior member of staff in the room where I work and she manages to turn me into some kind of drooling monstrosity everytime she comes into the room! (Worse thing is, she sits a few desks down from me..)

She I would say is about 10-15 years older than me (I'm 23) and she is always so stunningly dressed, she plays into a MAJOR like of mine by always wearing pencil skirts she has this amazing tan on her legs too..I always feel let down when she wears tights! haha

Although in my mind they are stockings with suspenders which she needs me too remove with my teeth..

Being single I don't feel so bad about fancying her..But I just know the way this crush will go, it's going to end up with me not being able to work for fantasising about this woman!!

I think she kind of likes me to, although I'm not sure how much of that is to do with "Being nice to the newbie" in the office.
She will often ask me how im getting on, she even treated me to lunch last week and whenever she talks to me there is always a hand on my shoulder! haha :o

Well, another day spent thinking about him and getting annoyed with myself for being such an idiot! Tried to engineer a way to see him, but didn't work (though it worked yesterday!). Arghhhh, it's so painful!

Oh and Mymblesson - I'm 25 and have heard of Joy Division!

I'm enjoying reading all these but I wonder how any of us are getting any work done? When I had my crush, it was a complete distraction and he used to occupy my every waking and every working hour! If only our bosses knew how our time was occupied....

Oh and Mymblesson - I'm 25 and have heard of Joy Division!

Gets insta-crush.

Nothing at all to do with crushes, but my 18 year old son loves Joy Division!

A most singular young man, Roisinniamh.

He'll go far

It's really interesting to read about others with same experiences!

Well, my crush has finally started to fade. Problem is, it's only because I met up with a lad I went to university with (old flame) ten years ago, on Saturday. We slept together, it was ace, I have now reached new levels of crush and feel needy and pathetic.

We're both single, hoping something develops but who knows?

Well thats good!..Hopefully it will keep you occupied untill your Crush is single? haha :o

My crush has me feeling like im 14..She looked so good today I got a bloody nose bleed looking at her!

I think I need those blinkers you put on horses at races so I can JUST focus on my computer screen!

Goodness me', how many of us are sitting here obsessing over unsuitable unobtainable crushes? I thought I was the only one here.

Mine is quite shamefully 20 years younger than me', quite possibly the most unconventionally gorgeous man I have ever seen.

He also happens to be my boss.

I know he feels the same way about me, too.

We spend all our time when we are working trying to ignore what's going on , and when we are out socially, flirting in a really shy sweet way.

Very very odd.. Haven't felt like this in so long.

I saw my crush again today. however, today I could barely speak, which was just as embarrassing as Tuesday's verbal diarrhoea! I just can't seem to have a normal natural conversation with him, it's so irritating. He's soooo gorgeous though!

Gulps My name is Cashier, and I have an inappropriate crush...

Frankly, I blame my mother. She suddenly decided my current state of singledom is unacceptable and started trying to play matchmaker with a solicitor she works with. At first I was like, "NO! He's not that good looking, and everytime you say his name it sounds like you're trying to cough something up". But now.....it seems everytime I see him he's got hotter (and somehow, taller)! I bumped into him a few times over Christmas, he'd come over, ask if my mum knew where I was, hand round waist, all that carry on.

However! Last time I saw him outside Mum's work it was New Year and we ended up in the same bar. All was good, although for reasons I didn't hear over the extremely loud music he wasn't drinking. The same could not be said for me. At the end of the night my friend and I were waiting on a cab when this random bloke sauntered up the road with a stuffed stag's head over his shoulder. Thinking this would make a hilarious photo, I grabbed it off him and, erm, pretended to snog it. Then someone in front if me moved out if the way and there stood sober-solicitor, watching me get off with a stuffed deer.

I don't think my feelings are reciprocated.

Cashier - poor you!!! Though you have sort of made me feel better - I may have said stupid things in front of him, and I may have acted like a mute in front of him, but at least I haven't snogged a stuffed deer!

Mobilise - I can imagine doing that, must be careful

Last time I saw my crush he stood really close to me, ooo he smells really good, mmm! Must stop daydreaming about him!

Work have posted photos of recent work events on flickr and he's on one of them. Keep looking at it - so now "number of views" of that particular is up to about 20 and all the others are at about 2 or 3

This will sound so stupid, since it made ME feel stupid..

When I came into work today the Lady in my office whom I have a crush on, was working with some other guy and was leant over him and I felt this weird pang of Jealousy!!

Had to go get a cup of Tea to calm down! haha

Mine appears to be fading as in its not constantly on my mind as I don't see them anymore but we have been texting regularly since they went, more so than thee other collugue s they were friendly with and are arranging (group) meet ups, I ned to remember that they are just a great friend especially as I'm older (but not old and so not their type. ah well it keeps things interesting I guess