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Original poster

The painful frustration of being attracted to someone

175 replies

garageflower · 23/08/2010 14:12

Am currently taking a break from men (after some great advice on here and in real life) but have developed a painful and infuriating crush on a work colleague.

He has a girlfriend and I know nothing would ever happen, we don't chat that much anyway but oh I just want to lick his face, make him Lemsips when he's ill and generally just have sex with him.

Grrrrrr it's like being a schoolgirl again Blush

Anyway, just ranting really, it's not often I am very attracted to someone - crushes are bizarre.

OP posts:
Original poster
garageflower · 01/09/2010 10:33

Oh god.....he has arrived in work today wearing.....

A suit (swoon)

That's right, not a mustard cardi but a dashing suit and my crush has now been ramped up to crazy lust.

How will I get through the day without drooling at him?

We had some good conversation on Friday, but that was when he was cardi man!

Hope you other ladies are ok?

OP posts:
londonartemis · 01/09/2010 11:59

Hope he's not going for a job interview somewhere else!

Original poster
garageflower · 01/09/2010 12:27

That could be a blessing in disguise right now, get my sanity back!

OP posts:
greeneyes747 · 02/09/2010 23:21

I'm not the only one...thank you garageflower for starting this thread and helping me feel less of a pervy freak.

I've not had a crush on someone for about 7 years, and it's totally taken me by surprise. Problem is, I'm his boss. And he's 10 years younger.

I've only known him 3 weeks and I keep changing my diary to be in the office more, just so I can gaze at him. I made him coffee the other day but when I poured the milk in, right in front of him, it was actually cottage cheese - MORTIFIED!!!!

He's not my usual type but I can't get over his eyes. He sent me a message today(ok, I forced myself on him in cyberspace under the guise of needing all staff members' skype IDs) and he sent back a winking smiley. In my mind this means a real wink and he's feeling the same, but of course that's total fantasy..!!!

In my fertile imagination he couldn't take his eyes off me yesterday (full day teambuilding) but in reality it was me who kept staring at him.. I had to look away because every time I sneaked a look at those blue eyes they were staring right back.

I'm totally dismayed some people have had crushes for years. I can't stand this!!!! HELPPPPPPPP......!!!

Original poster
garageflower · 25/01/2011 16:45

Well, we all love updates on MN, so here's the latest on this scenario:

Went out for a few drinks on Friday night with work. Turned into a big night out. Crush was around me, a lot and as much as I fancy him, obviously am aware he has a girlfriend so he's off the radar.

Crush then decides to tell me how much he's liked me since he started (about a year, I think) Shock and if he didn't have a girlfriend, he would have asked me out a long time ago. He was being quite flirty and I did my best to steer the topic of conversation to something else and I also tried my best to lose him a bit, or rope other colleagues into a conversation with him.

We all went to a club and he eventually left as his mate (who lives near him) was too drunk. Next thing I know, crush is back in the club, comes over to me and kisses me Shock Shock. I push him off, reminding him that he has gf etc. Envy

He then kisses me again and I push him off again. I was polite but firm. He went home.

So, I still have crush, crush has kind of crush on me but nothing can happen.

I suppose it's nice to know he feels the same way, but frustrating nonetheless.

Who wants to go out with a work colleague anyway? Hmm

Not a hugely exciting update, but it's been a bit awkward at work since.

Thought I'd let you all know anyway!

OP posts:
perfumedlife · 25/01/2011 16:50

Wow [bgrin]

Why can't he just break up with his girlfriend if he likes you too?

Original poster
garageflower · 25/01/2011 17:01

Perfumed - I KNOW Grin

I think it's serious, plus I wouldn't want to get caught up in all that.

Even though he was drunk, it's put me off him a tiny bit - the kissing, I mean, it's not really right is it.

OP posts:
perfumedlife · 25/01/2011 17:04

Well no, but you did try to lose him and he seemed very keen. Can't be that serious in his heart for him to declare how much he likes you. Glad you didn't give in to it though. Can you imagine how bad you would be feeling now?

perfumedlife · 25/01/2011 17:05

Sad Or he is just a seasoned cheat.

Original poster
garageflower · 25/01/2011 17:13

Exactly. I'd be feeling awful, I do anyway but would have felt a lot worse.

I'm fairly sure my exes wouldn't have considered even kissing someone so it makes me feel a bit icky about him now. Plus, I'm nearly 30 and he's 32, so he should know better. I think we have a lot in common that we've only recently realised so maybe that accelerated things.

Oh, then he added me on FB, then started chatting to me on FB. Not specifically about kissing (although he did mention it) but just general chatting.

Now I feel awkward though, and I don't know why.

OP posts:
Northernlurker · 25/01/2011 17:13

Wow - read whole thread without noticing how long it started. You're a better woman than I - if I had a crush and said crush kissed me and said he didn't care about his g/f I would not be pushing him away and going home! Unless the kiss was crap - was the kiss crap?

Original poster
garageflower · 25/01/2011 17:17

The kiss wasn't crap, but I was that conscious of our colleagues seeing us (and the fact he's not single) that I don't remember it, I panicked.

Finding it hard not to keep staring at him still.

I stayed out - he went home. I think I told him I wasn't a homewrecker, how melodramatic Blush

Just shows that you never know who is thinking what about you. We're all out again on Friday night, I'm presuming he wither won't be going or he'll be on best behaviour this time.

OP posts:
Original poster
garageflower · 25/01/2011 17:17

Plus, I always worry, when someone's had a few drinks that they'll regret that kind of thing and I didn't want him to wake up the next day thinking "oh shit, what did I do that for?" anymore than he might already have Blush

OP posts:
perfumedlife · 25/01/2011 17:23

Well if he is chatting on fb he is risking his partner finding out. Maybe he is ambivalent about the relationship with her and wants her to end it? Confused

I don't think he regrets it though.

Wow, do you get that lurch in your stomach when he looks at you? Smile

Original poster
garageflower · 25/01/2011 17:26

I was very surprised that he contacted me on fb, thought he would have wanted to avoid me. Who knows what the situation is? He's quite private so you don't find out a lot about him from daily chat, he's more off-the-wall in his conversations.

I hope he doesn't regret it, but then again, what am I hoping for? I highly doubt he is going to break up with someone just based on kissing a colleague.

Yes - I do get the lurch. It's actually worse, now I know he has similar feelings because not only is it rare for me to have crushes, it's surely bloody rarer for them to be reciprocated.

And he's really funny.

OP posts:
perfumedlife · 25/01/2011 17:29

Well, right or wrong, that's how people meet all the time. One is attatched and falls out of love, falls for someone else, ends the first relationship. Got to start somewhere. Maybe he had no clue you felt the same, and now that he knows you do like him, he is going to do some soul searching.

I hope so, for you. You sound crazy in lust with him. Smile

Original poster
garageflower · 25/01/2011 19:46

Well, Perfumed, we'll see. I know these things happen but to other people Wink

OP posts:
ASecretLemonadeDrinker · 26/01/2011 12:23

This IS an exciting update! If he is serious he will 'become' single (hate to say dump his gf!) , but it's nice to know he fancies you, eh? I am madly in love with someone I shouldn't be , we are both married and I very much doubt he likes me at all but but but he flicked water at me yesterday. I never feel like this. I am going to embarrass myself, I know I will. Blush

moocowme · 26/01/2011 13:19

so what are you sending him for valentines day?

QuintessentialShadows · 26/01/2011 13:22

can you come and pair my husbands socks? Pretty please?

I think he needs a woman who craves this.

QuintessentialShadows · 26/01/2011 13:25

ouch, should teach me not to read the last few posts before posting. What a scum. He is obviously angling for an affair.

Original poster
garageflower · 26/01/2011 14:51

I can't work him out at all. I certainly wouldn't entertain an affair or anything and I am sure he loves his gf anyway. But he keeps popping up on FB and chatting etc, all very weird.

Anyway, I assume if he does come out on Friday, he'll be wary of making the same mistake again - I'm nervous though, I hope I can show the same self-control if it comes to it, which it probably won't anyway.

I would be so upset if my dp was behaving this way.

OP posts:
Barnum · 27/01/2011 23:01

I have a crush on a work colleague's husband and I know he feels the same. Problem is I'm married and so is he (albeit unhappily which I know is true)I can't bear feeling like a 16 year old again and I can't bear the overwhelming obsession I have with him. We've talked alot and he texts me frequently and has told me he wishes this was another lifetime, so do I tbh.I know he would do something about it if I let him. It's very painful knowing someone feels the same as you do but circumstances prevent you doing anything about it.

stargazy · 28/01/2011 05:45

BARNUM how are things in yor marriage?Try step aside from how exciting and flattering it is to know someone has a crush on you.What would your DH think/ react if he could see these texts?Would you really want to risk your mariage?
Ask cos last year my DH slowly got invovled with OW-never got physical -but built up with almost daily contact thro job and many texts to point where it was very secretive and inappropriate to say least.Got blown apart when her DH saw phone.Caused much pain all round.
Many months later we are ok and rebuilding-DH was distraught when woke up from major flirting buble and realized what he nearly lost.Had a long and happy marriage up till then.Think OW an her DH have split [she initially began the texting and pushed for contact repeatedly-but my DH fell for the flattery stupid chump] but really don't care focusing on us and our future.

MrsNonSmoker · 28/01/2011 09:58

Awww. sigh Sort of enjoying this, my crush days are over, so I think about crushes I had when younger/at work etc. - best sex I ever had, I was 19 he was 35, my boss, my first real orgasm. He was fantastic. It was like a porn movie being bent over things etc. every time we had a quiet moment, god it was intense. Then we had a row and he sacked me ....!!

Many years later, when my DCs were toddlers, I saw him again collecting his grandchildren from our leisure centre. By this time he was in his early 60s and walked with a stick but he was still gorgeous. I'd put on so much weight he must have been shocked but I could see he was affected by seeing me. His own adult son had children the same age as mine and they played together for a few minutes. We never even looked each other in the face, he deliberately put his back to me sort of taking sideways glances, but I wanted to say to him "don't look, don't turn round, so in your mind I will always be 19, and that's where I'll meet you".

sniffs!