The painful frustration of being attracted to someone

[garageflower]

Am currently taking a break from men (after some great advice on here and in real life) but have developed a painful and infuriating crush on a work colleague.

He has a girlfriend and I know nothing would ever happen, we don't chat that much anyway but oh I just want to lick his face, make him Lemsips when he's ill and generally just have sex with him.

Grrrrrr it's like being a schoolgirl again

Anyway, just ranting really, it's not often I am very attracted to someone - crushes are bizarre.

Have also got HUGE work crush...find myself staring at his hands,arms until suddenly realise !!
Have caught him several times looking at me but as I oldish and he young and gorgeous think shurely shome mistake ?!

Queen - feel free to talk about him as much as you like! I like to think of this thread as a haven for crush-sufferers everywhere and discussion of the most mundane detail of crush is welcomed (well I hope so seeing as have a sweet potato conversation to add shortly).

So what does he look like? Personality?

Do you know his relationship history?

Oh I am desperate for you ask him out again but I totally get why you don't want to. What happens if you just email about something seemingly innocuous but with a few questions in, or do you do that anyway?

can't wait for vegetable chat garageflower.

olderandsexier - I bet he is thinking "phwooargh" Plenty of young men like older women.

I looooove this thread

I had such a crush on a colleague for years. Nothing ever happened and we now no longer work together (alas he moved companies) but I spent many hours daydreaming :).... Perfect height, six foot two, athletic so not too thin or fat and dark hair perect for running my hands through as we had (imaginary)

If we'd both been single I would have but who am I kidding?! From all your stories it would have been crap wouldn't have it .....

That would be great...not so great if was "why is my older work colleague staring at me all the time ..doesn't she have her cats to attend to "?!

Ok a key word missing .... Imaginary passionate sex....

Oh god, he had to go in a meeting before and I actually missed him (I don't even sit near him anyway but I DO stare from afar).

Sweet potato convo went as follows:

Crush: 'What have you got for lunch'
Me: 'This, a sweet potato'
C: 'That's quite small, they sell really large ones in Tesco'
Me: 'Well it's for the best, someone has brought in a lot of sweets and I probably won't be able to refuse them!'
C: '(something about going well with steak)'
Then someone just interrupted us to ask how to use the microwave so I found myself trying to have one conversation about sweet potatoes and then a demonstration of microwave and just feeling incredibly nervous and aware that my cheeks looked like two Braeburn apples.

Oh well.

Olderandsexier - tell us more!!

Oh and I'm really glad I managed to incorporate my lack of restraint, with regards to sweets, into the conversation

good convo tho garage...he must have wanted to hang around you,either that or he is exceptionally interested in sweet potatoes!

I met DP through work, I had him up on my intranet a lot . Oh the romance...

garageflower, it's not so bad. I would have felt compelled to say "I'm not sure I could fit a really big one in"

OR ask him to demonstrate steak recipe for you?

wow fantastic story,straightup...some of these crushes must really be potentially our life partners,just they don't know it yet

Well I think a crush is a good start for a relationship.

When I was a kid I used to wonder how any couple ever got together (I was an unrequited crush-haver from birth :)), given the extreme unlikelihood of the person you like, actually liking you back. But I think it is amazing how often this does happen. Has to, I suppose, for the continuation of the species . I have been frankly delighted with how often it's the fitty at the party, who caught your eye when you came in, who ends up chatting you up. It's not just a looks thing I think, there's something about some people that just chimes with each other. Or sometimes something they say (something darkly sarcastic in my case) that makes me look again at them and think "my, aren't those eyes blue..."

Was thinking of starting a thread for personal ads, what would you put in the paper if you were being truthful. What do you think?

I have a crush on a lovely builder who has been working on a couple of houses locally over the last year. He's always so happy and
cheerful, even when working outside in the pouring rain (DH is a miserable git at the best of times). I look for his van and recognise the number plate and get all excited if I see it.

Rather pleased he has bought a house to do up that I walk past twice a day with the dogs.........only downside is that I look shit in my dog walking clothes. Might start wearing make up for dog walks

Can't remember what it is like to have a crush on someone, not felt like i did when I first met DH since I met him, if that makes sense??

It's like the most painful pleasure one can imagine.....

I too am swooning over several crushes..some real, some not..I put it down to a passionate heart..luckily dh is one of my crushes after 15 years...but one can only dream.

So I dream about:

• the guy who lives across the road who works ENDLESSLY on his motorcycle, cleaning, polishing, caressing it...he's much younger..i've even taken ds over there to have an explanation on engines!

• Damon Albarn...saw him in a cafe once..swooned...

• a certain older telly gardener ..I would like to snap his breeches just for fun...

• Michael Stipe of REM...yes, I know he's gay but he writes the most beautiful music.

Off now to gaze longingly out the window to see if the motorbike is there....

apparently michael stipe used to look like this as a youth...

Damon Albarn mmm.

Draw the line at TV gardeners though!

Ha, love the mustard cardi, picturing your crush as Roy Cropper now! :)

Alan titchmarsh?

No definitely NOT Alan Titchmarsh...

snapping those breeches....there's the hint...lovely hair too. whew. sad I know. dh thinks I'm crazy.

Loving this thread

About 10 years ago I had a huge crush on my boss, but being married with 2 DC never did anything about it.

Anyway I always equate being a great snogger with being a fantastic shag, well IME.

I had been fantasising how it would be with him for weeks and weeks. So after a works party we were chatting and he leaned over and kissed me, full-on smacker. It was horrible, possibly one of the worst kisses ever.

That was it crush quashed, if he kissed like that then no way would he be good in bed.

On a further note to my theory, re: snog/shag quality. My lovely new BF, is brilliant at both.

When I first met him we had been on two dates before he kissed me. After first date I had been unsure about him, nice guy but not my usual type, whatever that means.

However, once he kissed me that was it. No sex till date 6, and wow, was it worth waiting for.

Lurker here! Don't post much but I had to post on this thread!

Ah, I've had my crush for 4 years now, bit sad really, confessed all to him a while ago...and the answer was that he had a girlfriend, doesn't like her much and would have loved to be with me.
Then nothing.
Then he'll start talking to me again, texting etc.
Then nothing for ages again.

Doesn't stop the dreaming......

Trying to figure out whether to mention me and dp split a few months back!

well, mention it Ghosts, why not? then he knows it's up to him. My feeling is that he's too wimpy though - can't stand these guys who moan about their girlfriends when they don't have to stay with them.